Don't compare your life to
Don't compare your life to
You have no idea what their journey is all
You have no idea what their journey is all
I know, I�haven't written for a while. But not too uch has bee ngoing on. Just everyday drama... yuck. But Ryleys Is made at me and Jacey cause I am "replacing her." I just get so irritated cause
she treats Jacey like crap and I always try to be there for her. But Ryley doesn't tell her anything but she expects jacey to tell her every fricken detail that goes on in her life. Jacey
doesn't have much drama except for Ryley. But Jacey really likes tis guy and they talked every night for like two months but then he thought it would be best to quit talking becase he lived a while
away. (Not at the same scool as Ryley's bf) but He just texted her the other day saying he was sorry and her still really liked her and he didn't forget her. Jacey wanted to tell Ryley but she
didn't know. She ended up telling her and Ryley was like "Cool. I�think Mackenzie is talking to him too." Mackenzie is this girl who is really slutty and she "likes" everyguy she talks to. Of
course Jacey was upset. Her feelings get urt really easily. I ujt get so frustrated.
thank god. i swear, i think i would die if it wasn't for the fact that we only have 5 more days to wake up. i can
handle that. :). one more day to wake up this week and i am completely okay with that.
well, i guess i'm currently married to my crush, and he's spreading that around :) haha. whatever. i really hate
that i like him, because he's GAY!!!! wtf? how do i fall for a GAY guy? i dont understand it... i guess maybe it's because he's become one of my closest guy friends... man, i like him, and i'm
going to try the trick that mrs. miller taught us about the pupils, i'm wondering if he'll use it on me, because he knows that i like him... :)
well, i'm gonna go, i'm hanging out with emmah and allen.
Got my house sold,,, I closed on Friday May 30th.� I had a garage sale the weekend before that,,,� WOW, all has been crazy.� The buyers had a second inspection on the roof and then guess what,�they
found "more mold"� So, we�had to credit them�700.00/�
BUT��we found a really nice brand new house 4 miles outside of Belle so I have been somewhat stressed to get my house sold and have it NOT fall through.� We should be able to move in Monday June
9th.� Very excited about my new house but LOTS of change.�
Looking for a new job but so far, no one seems to want to call me for an interview.
Today will have to be the day that I would write a letter to W. I have put it off long enough and just need to get it done with so both he and I can move on from this. I know it won't be easy and I
know it will hurt him. I don't want you to think that this comes without a personal struggle of my own as well. It is always hard to close one chapter of your life and not remember all the pleasant
memories of that chapter. I wish I could snap my fingers and place me three or four months in the future where none of this would hurt as bad. I just read through all of these entries and
discovered I am complaining about the same things I did three years ago. It is going to be an on going issue that only I can change. Today is a big step in making that change and although I wish it
was over with I know that the journey will force me to come up with strengths that I didn't know I had, lean on friends that I didn't know were so willing to help and come out a stronger person
than I knew I could be.
Dear little hoes,
just to let you know,
he'll always love me first,
and you all last.
and now my eyes are burning full of hate.
I wish he had done me some other way.
what does to me,
he'll do to you,
it took me six years to see,
that he'll the player-hater's fool.
Over and over i'm hurt,
and he's left me empty.
so now u can have him,
because i've got no sympathy.
I just have to stay strong, but I may be going insane again. It is so hard. I don't even know what is happening. I fee like I am hanging over a a hill. I keep aksing mysefl wheather or not I did
something wrong. I tried so hard and I got the worst. Nothing has a value to me that is greater. I am so hopeless and worthless. I can't stop thinking about it. I keep comming back to that feeling
and it won't go away. I can't move on. I don't know if I can live this way.
Wow, it has been a loooong time since I wrote. I have just been too busy to get on the computer, much less come on here. A lot has happened since the day I got my nose pierced. I broke my ankle 2
weeks ago, but it's almost better now thank goodness. And I also lost my friends. I guess it's just teenage drama but I'll let you know what happened anyway simply for the fact that I need to vent
and I can't trust anyone else. I know you won't tell. lol So anyways, my friends have helped me
with my stuff the past 2 weeks. Ya know getting around school and everything since I was on crutches and whatnot. So one of my best friends got a new phone. The next day it fell out of her pocket
book and broke while she was helping me. Now, apparently, it's my fault. She has practically the whole school hating me and every one is calling me a b**** and saying I'm rude and blah blah blah. I
have never gotten so many hate texts in my life! Well, I had an emotional meltdown at school today and I did the unthinkable-I cried. In front of everyone. And not once, but twice. I hate crying in
front of people; it makes me feel so weak and vulnerable. Well, now I'm friendless and every one hates me. I didn't even do anything! I mean, I know people who are guilty always say that but I am
honestly telling the truth! I. did. nothing. wrong. But, of course everyone blames me, the crippled. I always get blamed for everything! So, like, literally the whole school hates me. Every time I
hobble by they whisper about me like I can't even hear them. But oh well. This too shall pass, and karma's a beast. They will soon regret ever giving me up. And if they don't then I didn't really
need them to begin with. Right? I don't need them and their drama and their talking about people. I may be a "b****" but at least I'm a nice one. And I really do believe that I'm a good friend.
Others might not think that but who cares? I'll eventually find some one who is a true friend; some one who is worth my time and my tears. I regret crying, I really do. I think they were tears of
anger. I think I know why the loners at school are...well...loners. It is probably best to be a loner. At least you don't have to put up with anyone's bullcrap. But I am a Libra, a social
butterfly. I just have to socialize or I will go insane! I just don't know what to do. I guess I will try to be a loner since no one wants to talk to me. Since I have become a leper.
*sigh* Why do things have to crash and burn right when life is starting to get good? But maybe life wasn't getting good then, maybe it's getting good now. Maybe I was supposed to break my ankle so
that I would open my eyes and realize (I rhymed heehee) that my "friends" were wearing a big fat mask the whole time. True, it does hurt. A whole year of friendship went right down the toilet, but
maybe it's for the best. Like a quote by Publilious Syrus, "A friendship that can end never really began." Maybe our friendship never even began. So, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm gonna
just go to school and hold my head held high and act like being hated don't bother me. Now that that little rant is over with I am gonna go read some before bed. Wish me luck and merry Christmas