Life lately has been a bit difficult.
Chase (ex) broke up with me a little over 2 weeks ago and I seem to be taking it badly. I though that we had a future together and we had all these plans and then poof! he was done. He can be a
good person, but he has not been that great to me. You would think that I would move on already from a guy who treated me badly. Im getting there.
My mom died almost 5 months ago and it didnt truely didnt hit me until recently.� Now that I need her to talk to her about everything that is going on......I cant! I miss her so much and wish that
the last few years could have been different. I usually dont regret anything, but when it comes to my mom I do.
I wish I was around more before she died.
I wish that I didnt fight with her about stupid stuff.
I wish that I could have gotten married and had a child before she died.
Getting married will never be the same anymore. I wont have my mom to give me advise. Be there to cry with me as I walk down the isle.�Or tell me how beautiful I look.
Having children used to be something that I looked forward to. Now I dont know if I could have any. Knowing that my mom wont be in the delivery room or be there for their first time they talk,
walk, or school events. I need a mom!
Time to vent is over. Time to carry on the day. Time to be positive.
hey well im in not a good mood...wait that wasnt put right...lol...well ne way i need a ciggarette and
that might have something to do with my attitude...well im at school and it basically sucks but which school doent suck..."nada"....well i am so bored and well just writing to do something besides
looking like a idiot....lol...well no problems today except one particular person....but really dont want to talk about that person right now...well i guess all for now and ttyl!......
I have this bad ache in my chest...i really need him i cant sleep its 4:00� *cries* i wish i knew he was gonna make me this unhappy....it hurts
Oh my god why does it hurt so much *keeps crying*
so iv got this boyfriend, james. god he's a dick. it was my birthday last week and he didnt get me nuthin. id struggled on my
benefit money last month to get his present. and its so not a case of give-to-recieve he's my boyfriend for fucksakes! nothing not evena card. i'm skint he says. he's on double what i earn a week.
fuck all. but somehow he has �200quid 2 spend on shagged nitro cars, and now he's managed to find �300 to buy a shagged Nova. funny that. he was skint 6 days ago on my bday, but he's�spent�500
frikkin quid since then. is�this just me bein pathetic? god he's a fucker. fuck him anyway..
iv got these friends...thats so not the right�word for them. there's these guys. (well 4, but the�4th doesn't count-i'll tell all
at a later date) Ed, Luke and Andrew.�
Ed is my weed dealer. yes i smoke weed, so frikkin what? its fucking amazing. anyway.... i think im reading way too much into the ed thing. he does this eye contacty
thing that makes me go....hhhhhhhmmmmmmm. he's gorgeous. nothing wud ver come of it. he's just nice to look at. ans sometimes he makes me think that i do his head in. i do that sometimes....annoy
the ppl i like. i tend to blabber shite and not make sense.
Andrew. hhhhmmm. he's a tricky one to 'get'. he's from cyprus n he's a bloody charmer. twice he's made me fall for him. intentionally? idont know. he's so nice and i
find it har to believe he'd lead me on on purpose. he knows i like him, he just kinda chooses to ignore that. i mean, he'll flirt n charm n be sweet but as soon as i'm like 'aaaawwwwwwwwww ur so
sweet, can i keep you?' he's like 'arrrrggh'; and runs a mile. no ctually, its not like that at all. i think we both really like eachother, but we both kno itd never work. im a single mum of 2 with
no cash no job, livin in wales�and an actual shit for a boyfriend. Andrew lives in london and has just passed his teaching course. a match made in heaven....? i think not. still, a girl can
and Luke. Luke is the best friend of the guy number 4 i mentioned earlier. He's sweet. he's hot. he's horny. he's a rockstar. u kno wot actually...he's my perfect guy,
and if he was single, and i was single we'd be sorted. if he wasn't best mates with guy number 4. and that is a big problem. god i wish luke was single. it'd all� be so simple.
but im not a cheat. i'll flirt all i want. but i wont cheat. not even with luke. fuck he's hot.
i want a birthday present