ciancasaje's Journal

 
    
19
Feb 2007
11:02 AM EDT
   

Here I go again... After months of recovery, I am again hurt... Why? Why does this always happen to me? Is it because I'm a love addict? Is it because I look at things differently? Why is it so wrong for me to love? I give myself into it... I give my heart, my soul... I am sincere... Honest.... Loyal... But what do I get in return? .... Rejection! Oh I hate myself... I know it's not their fault... It's mine... I'm the one who kills myself piece by piece... Every little time I spent for myself gives me nothing but pain... Am I selfish? ... Why would I be? I give everything I could and do all my best for my love....And still I'm the one who's selfish? That's insane! This world is so messed up... Wait... No... I mean I am the one who's messed up! I can't get a hold out of myself... I feel I'm going crazy... I just need someone... Someone who will stay with me... Who will love me the same way I do... But heck! Shame on me... I always screw up!
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4 comment(s) - 10:19 AM - 09/18/2008
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20
Dec 2006
8:29 AM EDT
   

My first upload... December 20, 2006. Last whole day of school. The day which my love turns her back on me... We may never talk to each other again... How I wish I'd never been to this school. Once again, I've been hurt and rejected. Another piece of my broken heart fell. My heart that has been broken for many years yet again stabbed by a knife... I do have a curse... A curse of being alone... Alone in my whole entire life... I will never have a special girl who will love me for the way I am... Love... Why is love important to me? Why do I have to rely on it if it hates me? This word... It hurts me so much when I hear it... It hurts me when I feel it... Is there any way I can escape from it? Is there any way for me to not feel it? Help... Help is what they say that I need... But what kind of help? Help for me to become emotionless? Help so I'll become numb? ... What am I suppose to do?...
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ciancasaje's Profile

  • Username: ciancasaje
  • Gender / Age: Male, 33
  • Location: Canada
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    About Me: I am a loner... Seeking for forgiveness... I live in solitude longing for the love of someone...

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