DancingButterfly's Journal

Sep 2008
1:02 PM EDT

What I regret the most last year...

is that I didn't apply for B-school. I went as far as finishing GMAT and celebrated the test result, but nothing further. That set me back an entire year. Labor Day just passed yesterday, which means I again have 3 months to figure out why I need an MBA, where I want to apply, and complete the applications. Fun stuff...

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Jan 2007
12:07 PM EDT

I am bored with my work!! Well I am not sure if it's good if that's the first thing I feel after being promoted. Or maybe it's the result of the promotion that I can't stay on few of the old projects, hence I am bored now?! Either way, I am so bored~~~ I think the problem is that it's not like I don't have work to do, but I am just having trouble focusing. For some reason I have most of my weekends in the first quarter full already, and I am bored to death at work wanting to get out everyday (in the event that I do go into the office that is). Maybe the issue is the lack of deadline and expectation. What I need to do these days are easy tasks that can be done within the hour, but if I finish them first thing in the morning then I will have nothing left to do for the rest of the day (or week), so I just keep procrastinating the work till the end of the day or the next day. It is highly ineffective, I know, but it's hard for me to focus when these things don't have to be done NOW. I think my ADD syndrome is getting worse, if it's not already obvious from my writing... =p

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Jan 2007
12:15 PM EDT

It's my first day back in the office, so I got in around 9:30 am, which is a personal record in no-meeting days like this. Before having a chance to pat myself on the back, I was told that someone has been warned recently about our "office hours" by an MD...which supposedly starts "between 8:30 and 9 am"... =O How am I EVER going to do that?? So much for my New Years Resolution~~~

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Dec 2006
11:59 AM EDT

I attended the "7 Habits for Highly Effective People" training last week and found it very inspirational and motivating. All the habits discussed during the training were easy and most of them are common sense, but when we have our heads down and bury ourselves with numerous minor things that all seem urgent at the time, we forget to prioritize and put "the big rocks" in our lives first. The truth is, many important things in life don't seem urgent, therefore, we tend to push them to the back of our mind and spend most of our lives dealing with the less important but "very urgent" matters. Not until the important things leave us, we wouldn't realize what we've been missing or neglecting. To overcome the ADD habits I've developed since I started working, I got myself a personal planner for next year, and started putting important dates/goals in it. It is a tough time of the year for me with projects wrapping up, holiday shopping list growing longer, NYE party planning, furniture shopping and apartment cleaning yet to be done. On top of that, we started to discuss the Europe trip in the spring and have to finalize it soon before everything gets more expensive. It's just so easy to get into the old habit of putting out fire wherever it is, and end up running around all day without accomplishing much. Good thing is that I am more aware of the time that I am not being productive, and am consciously making the effort to get back on track everyday now. Hopefully it will help me to stay productive longer and not be as easily distracted. Can't wait for the new year to come~~~ =)

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Sep 2006
11:32 AM EDT

The week is finally over! It's been a slow and painful week. Not because of the work (or lack of work), but because of everything outside of work. My uncle's situation took a turn for the worse (a lot worse) all of the sudden, so my mom took the flight back to Taiwan the next day. Now it's just the matter of when...=/ Even though death is something that everyone will eventually face, it never gets easier no matter how many times you've seen it. It does make one wonder though, what is the point? What is the point to study hard, work hard, raise children, get old and sick, then pass away, so your children can do the same thing all over again, and in the process wasting natural resources and killing more animals (and maybe even others)? Being a highly respectful doctor in the biggest hospital in Taiwan, my uncle has done extraordinary job every step of his life. He worked so hard for so long that he didn't even realize how sick he was till it was too late. I wonder what he is thinking now under the mask of life support, is he thinking back on all the things he's done in his life, regretting the time he didn't get to spend with the family, worrying about the huge medical bills he has incurred, or wondering where he might go after this life? Or is he like me, puzzling by the purpose of every single one of us having to go through this life on this earth? Some say we are to set good examples for others throughout our lives, so the people come after us can follow our lead and become better persons than ourselves. Some say our goal is to create. Create things and ideas that didn't exist before our time, create theories and equipment so we can better understand ourselves and the world we life in. Some say we are here to explore our potentials and exceed the old selves throughout our lifetime. However, to me, all these don't answer the question, the question of why we exist. All these reasons are merely means to seek the answer to the question. The very question that haunts every one of us at different points of our lives. I don't know if there's one simple answer to this question, or it will be different for everyone. But for now I just wish for happiness, especially the happiness of my grandmother, who's suffering terribly right now because of this incident. I hope God will watch over her and comfort her the way that we are unable to.

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Sep 2006
3:21 PM EDT

Just came back from a 2 and half hour lunch with girlfriends from school. One of them came back for vacation from Taiwan, so it was good to catch up. So good that my 12:30 lunch ended at 3...=p oh well, not like there's any work to rush back for. After my 120 to 140% chargeability in the past year, I can't say I am not LOVING my relaxed schedule right now. Though it does get annoying when I have to sit here all day long when there's no client work to do. Lesson of the day: Never Speak Too Fast! Not long after my last paragraph, I got a call from an old client...4 hours later, I am still in the office...ahhhh... why don't I ever learn?

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Sep 2006
11:38 AM EDT

Mad tired today from all the dancing and late nights in the past weekend. Ko is in town for 2 weeks after leaving nyc for 3 years, so all of us old Bing pals wanted to make sure she has a blast!! The results are very sore legs and the lack of productivity and motivation all day today! =( I can definitely feel the aging of my body though...especially after this weekend. It's a bit scary watching my girlfriends start to work out like crazy or eating diet meals before the youth completely slips away. Luckily my focus in the past few weeks has been Naruto episodes, maybe I will worry about losing weight when I catch up with all of them... =p

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Sep 2006
7:30 AM EDT

I haven't been very motivated this week. Probably due to the lack of client work for the group recently, and the fact that there's no longer a bus stop right in front of my apartment that takes me directly to the subway station. Have been working from home 2 days this week.. =p I was pretty productive on Monday and actually made 2 full meals though!! First time in a year I think, since I started traveling to Minneapolis last summer. =) The dropping of oil price and rally in the stock market have not been helping our business, so people have been "borrowed" by other groups to keep chargeable. As of last week, my options are Michigan, Atlanta, and some other unknown city in midwest. Pretty exciting isn't it? I am still in the state of hating travel since the last engagement, so hopefully I don't get to be shipped out again too soon...

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1 comment(s) - 06:40 PM - 09/26/2006

Sep 2006
2:02 PM EDT

I love the quote today! "People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the salf is not something one finds, it is something one creates. - Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973." It is true that I can get all caught up sometimes on finding "what I really want deep down" or "how I really think of this and that subconsciously," I forget that living the moment and experiencing life in various aspects are actually ways to define who I am and who I am going to be. Though at this rate, I might just end up being a housewife who cooks a lot, with part-time work as party promoter.. =p Umm...need to think about that~~~

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Sep 2006
10:02 AM EDT

Financial modeling training now....so much fun... =p Can't believe it's already Friday. Been in training all week this week, I am forgetting how it's like to be "working"... how awesome!

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Sep 2006
2:29 PM EDT

More house cleaning and furniture shopping today. My mom and sister officially adopted ALL of my furniture today, so I really need to find everything again...soon... =p

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Sep 2006
10:19 AM EDT

TGIF!! Even though it's surprisingly the busiest day for me this week. Well consider Monday was a holiday and yesterday was a working-from-home day.. =p Finished the pitchbook requested this morning, though I doubt anyone in their right mind would want to read a 90-page long pitchbook, no matter how many pictures and graphs there are...oh well... Had the discussion with this group about potential projects in Atlanta or CA. The projects sound pretty interesting and challenging, the problem is that I really don't feel like being out of town EVERY WEEK for the next 9 months again. Especially when I just moved to the new apartment and haven't even finished furniture shopping yet!! =O The dinner went well. Well pretty good up to when I brought up that I am not looking and just want to be alone for a while. He was really sweet about it and just said to keep in mind that he's interested, but I think he was disappointed regardless. I feel bad because I think he's looking for a serious relationship to settle down, too bad I am not at that point now, especially with a Caucasian man. =/

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Sep 2006
10:21 AM EDT

It's my first entry on this site, I am a bit excited I guess. I just started my blog on myspace yesterday also...took a while. I can never understand how people can write such long blogs on their sites everyday, even my manager who i know for sure works over 12 hours a day...=O I guess this will be my small step to the "big goal". Who knows, maybe I will eventually be as "good" as those people with this daily "exercise".. ^_~ Meeting up with a new friend for dinner tonight. I would've never even agreed to it if it were few months ago, but since I fought so hard for the freedom to be single again, I figured I should open my mind to broaden my life (and dating) experience. Though I don't think I am attracted to him in that way, he's got a great sense of humor. I hope it's going to be a nice dinner.

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DancingButterfly's Profile

Username: DancingButterfly

Gender / Age: Female, 47

Location: USA - New York