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Shirley opened her eyes and Dad told her who we were. She was happy we were there, she commented on my hair, "Phyl's hair looks nice". Bear wanted a compliment too but that was more of a joke and she got it.

We stood by the bed for a while when she started crying from the pain, it's so hard to see her like that. Then Dad told her, "it won't be long, the pain will go away and it won't come back". She was immediately settled by that, I think she knows the end is soon.

They told us that she came very close the other night, hospice confirmed that her vitals were reflecting that things were shutting down but within an hour she rallied and Lee told us that she looked at him and said, "I didn't die." They all laughed instead of cried.

Hugs, tears and words of love is all there is.

hi i,m back my surgery went very well and i feel fine not too much pain they used key hole surgery and i was home next day but now i have to sit arround and do nothing for at least four weeks may be even six but it was well worth it i would recommend a hysterectomy to any one who needs it done so now i can look forward to a pain free new year .

p.s thanks for all the lovley comments .

I hate saturdays.. i really do.

Its a hard day. because your all tired after friday.. but you have to get up early on saturday for piano. =( at 8:00.

and my fricken theory exam today. at 9:30.. i barely had breakfast. and i didnt really study anything but.. i took guesses and GOOD guesses. not random ones.. GOOD ones. i dunno.

Its been almost a year since I last posted here.� I have been really busy, concentrating on my classes!� But, I am done now!!!!!!� I graduate tomorrow!!!!� Really excited about that and hope to find work fairly soon.

Other than that....awful lot has happened that I would like to document here, like....history has been made!� We now have our first African American President, Barack Obama!!� Pastor is working on getting my daughter's school to include her in on the trip with the chorus to the inauguration in D.C., January 20th, 2009.� It's a big deal and he wants her to experience this historical event.

A couple of other things have happened which I will not mention because it has come to my attention that certain people are reading my journal....and they don't need to know anything about some things!���

Oh yeah, I have, since the last time I posted, Mikki and Vernell got married�on May 17th, the wedding itself turned out nice, yet prior to the wedding, of course there was some DRA-MA!!��Sis. Cynthia S. moved over to become the�President of the Senior Ushers, and referred me,�and I have�been appointed as Junior Usher Advisor at�the church (myself and Donna C.)� Our Pastor�also requested and�appointed me as Class Leader #11 for New Members....wow!� It's all good though because...it's time!� It's time that�I have a relationship with God, and not just be "a member" of the church.� To be honest, I am struggling a little with it because it is so easy to slip back into those old ways.� Also, Sis. Jackie Y., who is the�Pastor's�assistant (right-hand person)�is looking for assistance with her work in the church, as she is very overloaded, and maybe looking for me to assist her; Assistant to the Assistant!!��� Anyway.....

Other than that, I a really working on making some changes for myself and my daughter....and hopefully great things are in store for us both in the near future.

December 12, 2008

Thank you very much if you are reading this journal posting.� It means that you have probably checked the site many times to find that I had not posted anything for quite some time.� In mid November I finished up with my work at the Jeff Gordon Racing School and I am now looking for my next big gig.� I am now working a seasonal job at a local department store.� I work at the fragrance counter.� It’s pretty fun work, the people are nice and the schedule allows me to continue job hunting.� I have many irons in the fire, some are mildly hot and other are just warm but everyday I try to stick a new one in there.� I am confident that I fill find the right opportunity for me, it just takes patients (lots of patients).

I really have not written because I felt that I did not have much to report and that was because professionally things are moving at a snails pace.� It’s not good or bad, it’s just how it is.� However, personally things are just great.� I told someone yesterday that professionally this is about the lowest point I have ever been at in my working life but personally I am doing quite well.� �I feel that I have really grown as in individual since I moved to Mooresville.� Surviving in a city where you know, no one, really makes a person go outside their “comfort zone”.� I am grateful for the opportunity I have been provided to really expand my horizons.� It’s a great felling to know that when required you can step up to the plate and do what is required.� It has been a real boost in my confidence level that things greater that I ever could have imagined can be accomplished.�

Jokingly I told a friend today that having to take a seasonal job at department store while pursing my “dream job” and�earing not�much more that minimum wage (which I don’t even really now what it is, but I do know you can’t survive very long on it) will make for some good drama in my memoirs.� �I consider this my “paying my dues” time.

Today is a wonderful friday! things have been running really smooth with the start off of a wonderful luncheon that my boss threw for the ERT members. Good Job michele!��today is the start off to hopefully a really relaxing and exciting weekend! My nephew is turning 1 year old tomorrow, its funny how fast 12 months can fly and a person's life can change in just so little time. with my new nephew around, the family has definitely came closer and so has the age of the rest of our family to start popping out some kids. Im now 21 years old (still in my Prime) but have considered maybe having one for sake of a new chapter to start in my everyday routine life. BUT, Im pretty happy not having to deal with the worries and headaches that come with a child. I plan to live up my prime as much as possilbe. Lately, I been trying to figure out if my friends are my true friends. I lived an hour away a few months back and i just recently moved closer to my hometown and things still seem distant with them. I would always make the effort to make time for them and spend $40.00 dollars a saturday just so i could be in the comfort of my old high school chicas! but the favor hasnt been returned as often as i would like and as often I made time for them! Oh well, is all i can say now but in time hopefully there effort will improve. besides all the sad stories i can go on and on about, my new place, I absolutely adore! everyday after work i love to go home walk through the door and slip off my 4 inch high heels, and dig my toes into the plush carpet in the living room, grab a blanket and veg out on the couch watching my fav, "what not to wear." tonight will be one of those nights, maybe but i think i might have me a glass a wine and add my new cozy slippers i bought. Happy Friday everyone!

�Yesterday I recieved a note from an old friend. We were friends all through Middle School when she moved here,but then it all seemed to change within these last two years. In our Junior year we were still hanging out an just not talking at school. Sadly now that we are seniors,she doesn't talk to me at all. Her boyfriend doesn't like her talking to me so she doesn't want to cause a fight with him by talking to me.

You see yesterday she gave me a note at the end of the day telling me that she wanted to be my friend, but she didn't want anyone to know about it. She kept telling me her boyfriend would get mad about it. That and we don't hang with the same group of friends anymore so she doesn't want her group or my group to know that we are talking. I am not allowed to text her unless we are in school otherwise I have to write her notes and talk to her that way.

I don't know how to respond to this at all. I mean we use to be good friends,but now that she has a boyfriend, she seems to good for me. That and her new group she hangs with hates me with a passion and I don't like them either. They just think they are better than the rest and they use to be some of my friends before we all hit high school.

I don't know if I should just go along with this and just stick to texting during school and writing notes back in forth or just give up. I don't feel like she can truely want to be my friend if she wants to hide our friendship. Please if anyone can give me some advice on this. If she makes a good point and I should just try and make this work or just stick with my gut and not give a care about it. Please if you could give me some advice let me know.

Thanks!