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The closest thing i've ever felt to love was this.

It's the scariest feeling in the world. But at the same time, it's the best.

It's hard to say if it's love.

But, it's the best thing to it.

This the first of hopefully many.... I'm not a big writer my docter says it might help me so i should try. At this point in time i'll try anything that will help. I'm trying to save myself from drowning. Life hasn't been a friend to me but not that it is for anyone. I just never saw this. People go threw problems and some do alright while others don't. I myself suck at life. I cut myself. I'm trying really hard to stop its bringing me more problems then it solves. The last time I did it they called the MP's. The firefighters were here along with an ambulance. I was transported to the hospital and they locked me up in a mental ward. I was trying to kill myself I just could'nt find a way to handle what was going on in my life. My boyfriend is leaving soon. He had been light in my dark tunnel. He makes me wanna better myself rather then destroy myself. I still don't quite know how i'll deal with but for his sake and mine i'm gonna try. So imma drink some water and move out. lol.

Ive Been Off school all week again with tonoslitus it really hurts, but i went to see the nurse and she put me on Erythromycin tablets. their some sort of antibioic. i allergic to penecillin so it was my only option. on monday at school i am supposed to do a prosuction in front of my peers. about the vistorian era. but the problem is I DONT KNOW LINES OR ANYTHING. but not to worry, i might get a little sad about my frends doing it but not me i will just enjoy the production. me watching GREAT. i will justs it at the back unnoticed. but i wont mind. its better than heraing my frends talk the way through plays nd stuff we watch. when i go back all my frends jump on me andf yell my anem and hug me. when i went back after my big they said. it was really quiet and lonly the place seemed dead, but there are over 1000 ppl in our school. but they said without me dark and gloomy i bring happiness and brighness to uniforms they are black and white how cna u make them nicer haa

SOOO i am sittin at home...trying to keep my self busy and not thinking of my situation...well starting yesterday i am sitting listen to the conversation that my mom is having with her friend...i dont like it and how she is talking about my dad and the past..past is the past..damn.. yea it may mean u dont trust him but ppl do change..while they kept going and i was defending my dad trying not to chose side i got pissed off and left..

cont,, to today i get home from the gym and she started on my about my dad...i dont wanna hear..then she make comments which are uncalled for...im freakin 21yrs old ill eat my damn food the way i want to...soo i suggested that we do family conceling she really needs to kno how she talks to ppl is not right and y ppl either get pissed off at her...

AHHH

more will come

i love u enough to love u

i love u enough to cry abt us

i love u enough to be depress

i love u enough to be happy at the slightest of things

i love u enough to be brave

i love u enough to be weak

i love u enough to be vain

i love u enough to be cool

i love u enough to be me

i love u enough to be not me

i love u enough to quit

i love u enough to give up

i love u enough to let go

i love u enough to perservere till today

i� love u enough to see the truth

i love u enough to deceive myself

i love u enough to miss u

i love u enough to stay away from u

R,�what has happened to me? it takes only a second to know u, and my lifetime to forget u.