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    linnea14star  24, Female, Washington, USA - 12,152 views
Jun 2013
8:27 AM CST

Starting Somwthing Different

Summer has started and so has my new ideas for different things. I have decided to start writing my bucket list on twitter and gmail. �I am also broadcasting my story ideas and definitions for words I learned just this last school year. I don't know if that was a bad idea, but I can't wait to find out.
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Current Tags: home...sick...again

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    LB*13  26, Female, Texas, USA - 12,108 views
Jun 2007
6:40 PM EDT

How do you decide something that will change your life forever??
If you have any advice please tell me....
5 comment(s) - 09:30 PM - 07/16/2007
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    mommy  30, Female, New York, USA - 12,095 views
Jan 2010
3:08 PM EDT

My Son

On the 26th of January my Son Hayden Got his 1st tooth. By Coincidence it was Also hid Daddy's Birthday & he turned 24. On the 27th of January he rolled over from his back to his belly so Now he can roll over both ways. He is Doing Great. Ever since he was born on July 12th 2009 with Spinal Bifidia he has been doing better then what everyone hasd thought.
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Current Tags: born, Life, Milestones, Son

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    thoskel1  59, Male, Ireland - 12,089 views
May 2012
3:05 PM GMT

Im back

� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � ��

Should be at work today but I had the phone on silent so I missed Kathleen's call last night.Austin and Vincent rang to know what I was doing but io told them I wouldn't bother to go in.I have days worked up .It is better to use them when they are there I think.

I have really felt behind in my Journalism.Reading back it does give a certain perspective on life which I wouldn't have if I did not bother

It is impossible to recall every event since my last entry so I will go on what I can remember.

Was in Monivea last night.Did the four pubs.The only bit of life was in Kelly's where there was a hen party on.Youngsters going around dancing,singing,and enjoying themselves.

When I was in McGann's I handed a fiver to Padraig for a ginger ale but he only gave me 20 cents back.I didn't want to say anything.He must be getting forgetful.

I had a Bord Bia audit eventually on Friday after postponing it on Thursday because I had a tooth out on Wednesday.(It is still a bit sore but is healing)

Carmel was out yesterday.She showed us the youtube video of herself singing with the Athenry musical society.And guess who was in the background.The person she most loathes in the whole world-Kennedy

I had a mediocre week last week on.I had to go to Brooke lodge to help out Austin and Burke.It wasn't too bad when Burke and Leehy were around but It can be difficult at times working with Austin.He tends to be overcautious about everything and he does tell the odd fib

The weanlings are coming on nicely.They are eating the meal and they have nice young grass over in the calla.
I may sell the bullock next Thursday in Athenry as cattle prices are dropping a bit and the may be on the way down after being dear since last year

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    jazzsoulp  34, Female, Rhode Island, USA - 11,932 views
Oct 2007
6:10 PM EST

...Wow...A lot has gone down since my birthday. I quit my wonderful job because I got admission into graduate school. I am more in Love with Babe than I have ever been...It's wierd...Like I Like Him more everyday. He's abroad now, and I'm nervous because He's so much closer even though we are still far apart. School is kicking. I'lll be getting my midterm grades tomorrow, so hopefully they are good ; )

I lost my God-father 3 Sundays ago. I miss Him and I hate knowing I wont be able to talk to Him ever again.
I really pray that my 4 girlfriends find true Love mehn...It's eating at my soul that they are lonely and unsure, but I'll keep praying for them. They have just got to experience this high...It's unexplainable.

Live in Love and Peace in the World...Much Love,...Me
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    uns3ttl3d  32, Female, New York, USA - 11,835 views
Mar 2007
7:34 AM EDT

i dont know what it is with me but i feel alone and scared. my parents are giving me a hard time for not wanting to go to join a gym or something. i havent even been home for 24 hours and theyre already giving me so much shit. i cant tkake it and my head feels like it wants to explode. i spent most of this morning having coffee and cigarettes outsie in the subzero temperature because i wanted to numb myself- literally -from thinking and worrying and now all this thinkin and worrying is getting to me. so i eventually came back and huddled my stuffed animal by the corner of the wall looking at an art book staring at a picture of monterey bay. i felt like i was going to pass out. i havent eaten yet today and i dont really feel like eating anything. im too emotionally stressed out. its just so hard for me to get up and do things and when people force me to just do it i feel like i want to kill myself. i just need help and i need it now. and help isnt coming. i think i should ask my parents for the psychologists number but then again they probably wont give it to me because they, as it has been for the past several years, want me to try other alternatives to helping myself. obviously exercise alone isnt going to get rid of my problems. along with acupuncture. along with herb medicine. along with church. along with books i cant even finish. along with trying new things. going new places. my inner devil will always catch up with me wherever i go and i am simply sick of it. what good has self medication done me so far?? i'm halfway in the process of getting lung cancer, i pushed away all the friends i ever had, i cant wake up in the morning without wanting to scream and cry. i've become so self centered that i cant even help those around me who need it (my brother who is now gone), i quit school because i couldnt think straight or function, i have dug myself so deep down this hole and i cant get myself to let alone even stand up or try to get a shovel to dig myself out just with exercise. why are they so blind? why dont they understand me? they dont. not to the least bit. and i am alone. alone in this world. alone in my thoughts. the mind can be a lonely place. i can feel the sting in my eyes because if i dont sit down and write/type it out i cant think in cohesive phrases. i will just get lot and frustrated even more than i already am and its just hell all over again. i cant take it. i cant take it. i cant take it. my head feels like it wants to explode. i am drowning in a pool of hopelessness and nobody around me knows how to swim. they all just sit on the sidelines and see me frolic and flail just as i have for the past 6 years and do absolutely nothing about it. some try, and they end up giving up because i am hopeless. i cant even stand up most of the time, how can thye expect me to walk? or let alone even run? the world i live in is a fast faced pace and everything is a fucking race. a fucking marathon. and i am a cripple (im speaking metaphorically but you get my point...or do you???) i am just tripping and falling and i cant get up. i need help. and my parents aren't a nurturing environment for the problems that i have. i dont even understand most of why i am the way i am. maybe i should just shut up and deal and get by day to day without thinking. thats what i did for the first half of last semester. but the inner devil caught up with me. it made me do stupid things. it made my suppressed bad thoughts 10 million times louder and now i can't tell whats real and whats not. i mean this emotionally and mentally. i can still decipher the real world, im not crazy just yet, but i get so lost in my own thoughts and i cant run away from me because i will always catch up. maybe im just insecure. maybe im just a loser. mayube im just a failure. maybe i dont deserve anything in this world. maybe i should just shut up. but i cant. the only way i can get myself to shut up is if i kill myself but that would be a last resort. i am so stupid. nothing in my life ive done is worth honoring. ive made some terrible mistakes and i never cease to embarass myself when i try to fit in or open up to others. i am thoroughly ashamed of my existence. and i am not worthy of being worried about by others...which i am not.. only my parents care about me and they dont know how to help me. i dont really have any real friends. only the people that i left behind in my old hometown and back at college that i cease to keep contact with anymore. why? because there is nothing to talk about. i am a boring person. i cease to bring forth anything to the table. i wish to change myself but i somehow cant because i lack the will and incentive. perhaps i do ahve incentive but i dont know who i am anymore if i ever did in the first place and lots of what i say or think or do repeats itself and gets worse every time i do it. god. i cant take it. i just want to be happy and have a normal worry free life. i know this isnt achieveable because life istn easy and i am too weak to do anything right...or do anything at all. so i will just sit here and rant on the computer to no one but myself and it really isnt doing much.
1 comment(s) - 04:52 PM - 05/10/2008
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    sumitnarang  35, Male, India - 11,784 views
Jan 2007
11:15 AM I

hi posting a journal after so many days.the last week of last year was fantastic, i hav spend lot of time wth my frnds and family.
2 comment(s) - 11:12 PM - 01/21/2007
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    Talacia  28, Female, Australia - 11,196 views
May 2007
2:58 AM EST

altho its afternoon!!!!
im happppppyyyy :-)
1 comment(s) - 03:11 AM - 05/24/2007
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    CreateSomething  46, Female, Texas, USA - 11,111 views
Oct 2009
12:36 PM CST

Pumpkin Patch Photography

� Today I did a shoot with a baby girl named Eliska. She was so adorable. She had several different halloween costumes. She was so easy to work with and her mom and grandmother kept singing this really cute song to get her attention. I really enjoyed the session and am sure the images will be beautiful. I think my favorites are the ones of her with the colorful toule. There was a cat that she really loved. We tried to put the cat in the pail with her but it immediately jumped out before we could even snap off one picture. I was kind of sad about that because it would have been very halloween like. We did get a few with the cut on the bench with her but then it decided to get down when she started petting it a little less than it liked. She wasn't even 2 so she was learning to be nice to the kitty. She didn't quite have it down yet but it was very cute to see her try. There were some great areas at the pumpkin patch to shoot. The only thing is that in the barn some fly kept landing on the baby but I got lots of shots without it so that will be okay. There were huge pumpkins and colorful gourds so I think these will be perfect for halloween.

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Current Tags: halloween, kids, pumpkin patch

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    leeyohhan  53, Male, New Jersey, USA - 11,075 views
Jul 2009
7:50 AM CDT


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    LostAnonymously  30, Female, Arkansas, USA - 10,741 views
Apr 2008
4:37 PM CST

Some Poetry...

I'm going to start writing poetry again. I used to for�a long time. I'm hoping it will be as therapeutic as it used to be. Well here is one that� I wrote a few days ago. It doesn't really have a name.

No, Everything is not okay

Everytime night turns to day

I pray

"God let me die today."

I can't change the way I feel

People are trying with just a little pill

It all just makes me want to blurt

"God, stop making me hurt."

I know I have Jesus in my heart

Which means we'll never part

But I just don't feel him with me

Maybe they lied and he really left me.

God, if you left me, hear my cry

Please come back before I try

To take something that isn't mine

To take my life one last time.

I need some feedback, Please.� That is, if you want to. I can be short or long. You can tell me it sucks if you want to. Just give me something to work with.

1 comment(s) - 12:06 AM - 04/22/2008
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    MickeyMouse202  51, Female, Rhode Island, USA - 10,377 views
Sep 2016
9:26 PM

Must have to read. Must have to be possible to get a new one. Must have to go to sleep. Must have to go out for me and country.
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    meagan  41, Female, Canada - 10,185 views
Dec 2008
4:32 AM EST

Happy New Year!

I've got TONS of goals for 2009!� My main fitness goal is to lose approximately 40 pounds of fat, re-gain some of the muscle I lost while pregnant, and compete in IDFA's Toronto Classic on July 11 with my best body yet!� I've lost about 35 pounds since I had my baby at the end of August without really trying (a mixture of not having time to eat all day because I'm so busy with him, breastfeeding, and not hanging out at restaurants so much), I've been teaching my dance and exercise classes, walking a lot (it's too hard to get on streetcars with a big stroller), and getting down to the gym a bit, but thus far�my fitness efforts have�been pretty sporadic and lazy in my mind... which is fine - I don't mind that I gave myself a few months to re-adjust my new life as a mom�without throwing myself right back into super- workout-girl-mode as soon as I got home from the hospital.� But, now It think it's time to get crazy!!!� I've set a very reasonable goal of competing in July, so I have 7 months to get ripped!� I'm so excited about getting more serious about my training (and less excited about super clean eating).� Now I just have to decide if I'm going to compete in fitness or figure... Getting� a fitness routine together now that I've been out of the scene for so long may be challenging, but I might try!� I'll keep you posted!� HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2 comment(s) - 10:10 PM - 01/12/2009
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Current Tags: fitness competitions new year workout dance

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    shejustloves  43, Female, Minnesota, USA - 9,918 views
Feb 2010
4:25 AM CST

Today is the stomach is in knots, I feel like I have to vomit...I just don't know what to expect...
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    Selina4me  23, Female, Illinois, USA - 9,682 views
Dec 2007
2:39 PM EDT

Dear Readers,

Today I stayed home from school with my dad and my brother's girlfriend. She is really nice and I like her because she listens to me. Not with her ears but with her heart. Today I spilled my guts out to her and it all started....uh....I foregot how it started but it had to do with boys I liked or like Manny or something. I told her everything from all the kids in my classroom to writing a book.

I like to write. I told you that already didn't I? When I write I am in my momment of zen or something. Since I like to write then that means I'd like a Pen-Pal to write E-mails to. Would you be my pen-pal? I would really like that.

What can I do to attract Manny? Help Me! Give Me Tips! I Need Your Help! I am begging you! PLEASE!!!

Answer My Question and Send Me Comments!


Tags: boys, penpals
6 comment(s) - 09:42 PM - 02/28/2008
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    lex  37, Female, California, USA - 9,627 views
Jan 2011
10:38 PM CST

it's really been two months YIKES!

Man I've been putting this off for some time now but finally found a nice Sunday night to write. Where do I start??

The holidays where fantastic lots of eating and drinking and days off from work presents and pictures of snow from back east. Laura came to visit which was amazing amazing she is now living in San Diego for the next year. I really love her love friends that just get it and just know. Will be seeing her in two weeks in LA for some warm sunny parent hang out time.

New family addition yesterday baby Oliver Henry Brill! Soooo cute and so happy to have more little cousins who call me Aunt Lex! love it up! Makes me sad not to be closer during times like these but I will visit soon in the spring.

Job is good it's been a year which is amazing. Got into Lexilou mode have checking set up email marketing down and cocentrating on finishing our rates package. moving forward. moving forward.

Been doing a little online dating and had a date this week with Mike from like a year and a half ago he just called me up out of the blue and asked to have drinks. It was really great to see him but don't think much has changed� in the I'm into Alexis front still seems to be on the same level and I haven't heard from him which is blah blah blah but damn is he cute :) Just going to leave it no messaging him late night or drunk I'm just in a different place now where I don't need that attention negative or positive just have a lot more going on and I kind of feel like you are in or you are out so pick one and lets move on for reaaaals.

Had a good day today grocery shopping, yoga, fantastic fish tacos i made now going to dive into dan browns latest book. sounds lame but i love days like these a little alone time i love it. just me time is really good for me. so relaxing and wonderful sunday nights are some of the best.

not going to get into all the other stuff running through my brain but also a note that this week is my three year mark of writting this journal!! woo hoo! who would have imagined this is the wonderful place i would have found myself in as when i started i feel like i was just a different person in a way different place. man how time really makes a difference.
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    berries7cinnamon  32, Female, Singapore - 9,353 views
Dec 2007
8:51 AM EDT

I just got my new desktop today. Just slightly more than a week ago, I was telling a few of my friends how much I wanted to have one because I wanna play MMO. Someone asked me if I wanna play MMO it's because I'm lonely.

Actually, not at all. I have plenty of things that I like to do to keep me busy. I just would like to try something new. That's all.

I started gaming once it's all set up and ready. I had fun and along the way I think I did quite a few things that made other players roled their eyes. (haha...)

However, there's something that's bothering me. -.-

How I managed to have this desktop at such a short notice was all because of my cousin who was so willing to spend on me. I was really thankful. I haven't been a very good spot today because I got pissed at what mom said to me... AGAIN (just like so many time in my life).

I forgot to thank my cousin and got mad because the cd/dvd drive couldn't work well. My cousin said that seller wanted her to come down to his store to get a new drive, and he's even willing to upgrade it for us... for free. To me, that's not the point. His store is so far away and my cousin told me she wasn't even sure of the way as well yet she just agreed to go down to his store to pick it up and said that she knew how to fix or change the drive.

That seller has the responsibility to come over to my house and fix that problem. I felt that my cousin was being to easy going. -.- Or maybe I'm simply being too difficult. I just feel that since he's the seller, he should be the one to provide us the service and not us who's making things convenient for him.

In the end, after waiting for such a long time for my cousin to help me set up the PC, I got bored and started reading my manga. I couldn't really paid attention to her when she was showing me some stuff and I didn't realised that I haven't thanked her for today. I did thank her profusely when she offered to get the PC for me, but I just didn't do it today. -.- I felt so rude, worst of all my mom was the one who reminded me.

This isn't the first time I didn't thank someone who has helped me. It's not that I didn't want to thank them, I simply forgot or didn't realise that I... just didn't. This is so embarrassing.

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    puccy15  25, Female, Michigan, USA - 9,239 views
May 2009
7:55 AM EDT


i am so jealous of bellaluz. elves?! wish i could see some. haha my friend just text me saying "Yay! Kayla's mad at me. Yay!" heehee. he's a nerd

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    manindra  44, Male, India - 8,901 views
Aug 2007
8:13 AM I

Tags: public
2 comment(s) - 05:45 PM - 11/05/2007
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    antho  58, Male, Sri Lanka - 8,877 views
Jan 2018
7:19 AM

Family trip to Cadjan Wild - Yala

Trip was organized by tania on a offer by Terrina . Family with Ryan . Left colombo on the 3rd at 8 am reached the hotel at 1 pm. I drove the distance. Relaxed the entire day . Terrina and Ajith gave a surprised visit and stayed. 4th morning went on safari 6 - 10.30. FOS not sight leopard but encountered a a lone elephant. Went again evening safari 3- 6 pm. Ajith and Terrina joined . We saw leopard . Stayed in the camping room.
Tags: Travel
1 comment(s) - 05:15 AM - 02/16/2018
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