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    codekadiya  35, Male, Australia - 17,792 views
27
Mar 2011
6:01 PM
   

im gonna stop writing from this for a little while and got a good journal website. so gonna write it from there. thats also comes to the inbox. which is called Ohlife. so its good. anyway sorry.com for this website. thats how the life goes. clients tend to go for the best option when they receive a good website. anyway going to work in a little while.
1 comment(s) - 03:18 AM - 04/12/2011
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    Queenie  32, Female, Ohio, USA - 17,272 views
17
Nov 2006
1:35 AM EDT
   

I think I sit here everyday and wonder, why everyone cares about what everyone thinks. Even the most confedent people think something bad about their own person. Yet those are the same people that tell you to that you can't love anyone without loveing yourself first and are so hypacritical it makes me sick.
5 comment(s) - 04:32 PM - 05/10/2008
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    storminorma  58, Female, Florida, USA - 16,951 views
29
Mar 2007
4:53 PM EDT
   

I admire many people. Charles Darwin, Einstein, Galileo, Jesus..too many to list. I admire their intellect and curiosities to discover and find answers to many things we all seem to take for granted now. I WISH I had the brain capacity they all did!
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    sahuoy  55, Male, Illinois, USA - 16,567 views
23
Nov 2013
6:52 PM CST
   

I Wish...

"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" - Abraham Lincoln
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Current Tags: Life, Public, Quotes, Religion, Wisdom

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    auxilary25  34, Female, California, USA - 16,060 views
24
Mar 2011
12:52 PM CST
   

O Dear


I’ve done the unthinkable. I’ve become someone I don’t recognize and I’m scared of what I’m realizing. Perhaps all along the problem was me. Maybe my relationships failed because of me. Maybe I was cheated on because I didn’t appreciate the person I was with. Maybe my hidden commitment phobia pushed the people that love me the most to the edge. All this time I cried tears that I provoked. I expected to be loved by people that maybe I didn’t truly love, just for the sake of being loved. I kept people close so that I wouldn’t be alone, my backups. All the while I was incomplete, but better that then empty. If I think love doesn’t exist it’s not because I’ve never truly been loved but because I’ve only loved one person who is now dead. It’s horrific realizing I’m the monster. I’m the disease that has poisoned the people that loved me. I was the curse. It hurts when it ends because I wasn’t loved, because I wasn’t enough to be fought for, because I was unmasked.
Sex, never understood why women write in articles how once you are done with meaningless sex you want to get out of there, pretend it never happened, cry. Yesterday it happened. While I was kissing him, while we worked our way up to the point of no return, I kept telling myself “No! Stop.” BUT I kept going. I felt alive; it was a rush, a blank state of mind, peace, desire, etc. I didn’t stop him, I didn’t push him away even when deep down inside I knew this was wrong. He wanted to be held, and I did, but it was to help hide the tears that I was desperately trying to hold back. How can this feel so good yet so wrong? I’m single! I wish it wasn’t with him yet I’m glad it was. I wished it was someone that isn’t here. The one my heart belongs to right now. The one that was my best friend but is barely that because I pushed him away. The one that deserves better than me. I wanted to call him but I can’t because he’s in Aghan. So many years, why didn’t I realize how much he meant to be BEFORE he left??? Why didn’t we embrace the opportunity when it was here? Did I really push him away or did he realize he didn’t want me after he said too much? Was it a moment thing and now he regrets it and doesn’t want to break my heart? What do I even feel? I know I miss him, there’s not 1 day that I don’t think about him. I want him to be happy. I want my phone to beep with a message from him. I want him to hold me. I want him to tell me he loves me, that I’m the one for him. I want to be sitting in front of him watching him blush and smile at me while we are having dinner. I want to tell him everything because he’s the one person (Alive) that I can tell anything to without being judged. Is this normal? How can I possibly feel this when we haven’t even kissed? Am I making this up, in love with the idea of love? Or was I in denial all along? I was always jealous when he spoke to girls romantically but I’d get over it because I never in a million years thought we could be together. How could it be? We live far, what if he realizes he doesn’t love me after I’ve fallen madly in love with him? What if karma gets me back? This is why I push him away, because what if the one person I love doesn’t love me back? I wish he’d push down every wall I put up. Just show up at my door, tells me he loves me, take my breath and heart away. That’s my dream. If it’s not him, I’ll eventually find the one that will put an effort to break down my walls and love me. Or the one I won’t put walls with. God I wish he was here, hopefully soon. Hopefully we’ll at least stay friends, hopefully more. 7 more months, less than a year, it’ll fly and he’ll be home. He’ll come back to me, I hope.
������������������� I can’t undo what I’ve done. I can’t erase what happened yesterday. I’m just saying let it be. Allow life and my heart to guide me. He knows my heart is in Afghan & he thinks he has leverage because he’s in Miami, but he doesn’t. I don’t need “XX” here to think of him, to want him to love him. I will think of him no matter where he is and until I hear the words “we can only be friends” I won’t open my heart to anyone else…or I fall in love without noticing. My heart is saved for him. Always has been. I just wished I would’ve realized earlier. I had from Kindergarten till now but well, this must be the best timing for us. Maybe I think I feel something I don’t. Maybe when he gets back, one kiss will seal the deal to our future.

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    brokentearsRcryd92  31, Female, Ohio, USA - 15,875 views
06
Aug 2009
11:32 PM EST
   

Her stolen Innocence

SONG!!!!

She was so young,

why did you take her away?

She didn't feel you,

coming close,

Oh, where did she go?

Her stolen innocence,

makes her believe in hate,

her stolen innocence,

can't believe in fate,

her stolen innocence,

makes her afraid,

of you.

She didn't know why,

or the time that past by,

she, couldn't figure out,

why?

now it's her

CX1

She was so young,

why did you,

steal her face?

she could believe in lies,

now is not the time

CX2

REPEAT FIRST VERSE!!!

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Current Tags: song lyrics, youtube.com

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    SamanthaAlexandra  31, Female, California, USA - 15,633 views
14
Apr 2007
5:09 PM PST
   

I was looking at some pictures and I was reminded at how lucky I'm to have such a wonderful life.
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    cancermoonchild  39, Female, California, USA - 15,512 views
20
Feb 2008
1:34 PM EDT
   

my last night in sioux falls, sd

    I'm sitting here by myself in the hotel room. Steven is downstairs working on some project downstairs in the lobby. Leaving me to be myself, im left alone with nothing else but my thoughts and feelings.

    While, i'm glad to be going home back to sunny san diego (even tho i hear that its raining) i dont want to leave. I've found myself feeling so god damn comfortable. Sleeping next to him, waking up next to him- being in his arms. He makes love to me and i can do nothing but look into his eyes. I like.. no, i love the way he looks at me when he's inside me. our eyes connect and its just something special. Well, it is to me- i dont know what he thinks. He tells me i'm beautiful or how fucking hot I am. But you know men- for all i know, i could seriously just be being used for sex. It's nothing new to me- used and abused. Sometimes I wished I didnt feel. Just be able to enjoy the feeling, without having those feelings of wanting something more. Something deeper... i can't help it. i wear my fragile heart on my sleeve. I expect so much - i wish i expected NOTHING. Take it for what it is- day by day. But no.. i'm fucked up. i hurt myself.. for absolutely nothing. There's nothing for me to feel sad for. i should only be feeling happiness.. i really should. But its not like that. not at all. its that clock ticking inside of me. Wanting to know.. wished he would tell me how he felt. I can believe i even let my feelings known, and he doesnt really say anything.... not that he has to - probably haw nothing to say. Probably feels nothing- to that extend. Just enjoys my company- enjoys my body. nothing more nothing less. can't ask him- cuz he wont really answer..... i already know.

    I'm watching him work across the table from him. His eyes so intense... i love his jaw line, so defined. glasses on, glasses off- he's so sexy. I really can't stand it.

    It really is my fault. I'm just attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable to me when i all i want is their love. Or they are the men who show their love in ways that are unknown to me. He's already admitted he's not the romantic type of guy- and here i am, ms. hopeless romantic... mismatch in heaven? Do i just learn how to deal? I guess i have no other choice.

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    tiahe  27, Female, Canada - 15,195 views
03
Mar 2008
4:53 PM EDT
   

trust me

I guess everything is changing, and I dunno what I think about any of this. I feel betrayed by friends, and a lot of things are frustrated me. I guess becoming close with new people, cause the old ones to start drifting.. I can't really write much on here, I feel like I can't even trust a personal website, where you're suppose to write everything. I feel like not many people can be trusted anymore, and let alone something like this. It is so annoying how shitty and low people will go, just for someone else. I guess this isn't even entirely about me, well actually very little of it is. I see one of my new really close friends, constantly being betrayed by a lot of people, and I relized how shitty people are now of days. How they will do anything, just to make them feel superior, when really it makes you shittier then the person before you. So many people are like this now, so many people suck at being a good friends, and good friends seem really impossible to find. I am so glad, that I now keep my guard up a lot more then I use to. I don't know what I would do, if every day passed and I had to worry about someone betraying me. It doesn't seem to matter how close you are anymore, because everyone seems to just love to do it, and its happened more then it should have to me in the past.

YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!
1 comment(s) - 07:55 AM - 05/24/2009
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    jodigirl25  53, Female, Ohio, USA - 15,091 views
31
Dec 2007
9:29 AM EDT
   

I've been busy being a NURSE!

I've made it to be a nurse...finally! Years of dreaming it, and now have accomplished it. But wait! Not finished yet with my dream...will be starting school again next week, to go further to be an RN! I think I will not be satisfied until the original dream has been seen and touched. So onward I march....
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    nodeadends  13, Female, New York, USA - 15,074 views
30
Aug 2007
2:04 PM EDT
   

I finally got the keys to the apartment. I feel a little relieved, I can breathe a little easier. this is the shortest entry will write more in a few days.
1 comment(s) - 08:13 PM - 07/29/2008
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    paterbabe  48, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 14,607 views
24
Mar 2009
9:08 AM EDT
   

Antoine de Saint-Exupery quote

"If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Universe
found �7/31/2008 (cleaning up MSOutlook)
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    bettyboxedin  29, Female, Canada - 14,537 views
19
Nov 2006
7:35 AM CST
   

i have not been on lately due to a lot of stress and suicidal feelings lately I found out JOrdy has relapesd and is back on heroin he still smokes pot and dirnks. i am lost in what i should do. i have been told to dump him but what kind of girlfriend would i be if i do i am supposed to be there for him and i want to be to get him back on his feet, i have been told to call the cops but idont want to. i have no idea what i should do. anyways i am watching philodelphia so i have to go. it isn't the greatest movie s to watch since Jordy is back on heroin and you can contract aids from heroin and i dont want him to die. i love him too much to give up on him and throw in the towel now. i need to find some help for him find someone who can help me so i can help him. he is my rock and if that rock gets weak and crumbles then so do i.
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    pammy  49, Female, United Kingdom - 14,216 views
18
Dec 2007
3:52 PM GMT
   

Getting Cosy!

Firstly, can I just say a very big Thank You to everybody that left a comment or email message for me. I almost keeled over when I saw how many I had. For one horrible moment I thought, while under the Influence, I had struck up some kind of deal with guido trying to make it big, in my bid for fame and success! lol. Alas, that was not the case, considering I stumbled on guido's page by pure accident, I was just lucky enough to be on the right page at the right time! lol and boy! am I glad I did!. There will be a rather large glass of either Brandy and Lemonade or Bacardi and Diet Coke raised in the air towards you all on Christmas morning lol.

Decided to miss the usual Christmas Tipple last year until way after dinner! Hmmmm. What a silly move! lol. I was too stuffed and exhausted to lift the glass let alone attempt to compete in the usual Christmas day extremely competitive games,quizzes and sing-a-longs! For there only being 3 of us, It's amazing how much noise we can muster up! lol Bet the neighbours loved the peace last year! Well this year, It will be back to normal! lol. Dinner will be on the table for no later than 2pm. I will just make sure my glass comes with me when I have my usual bath in the morning along with choccies and bath goodies. Awww. I think I just got a twinge of excitement.

For some reason, It hasn't felt very Christmassy this year. I don't know If anyone else has noticed this? or Is It maybe just me? What I do know though, Is how absolutely freezing It Is!. I took ages to heat up last night. I was wrapped up In 4 layers aswell and still couldn't get warm. Can't believe that earlier today, I agreed to have a test run for our Christmas Dinner..... lol bought a huge stuffed Pork Roast, Roast Tatties, Carrots and yorkshire puddings! Tasted amazing on Sunday!! lol Now, can you all tell we love our food here? lol.

I have the cheek to grumble about being a lot heavier than usual! Well, Hmmm, I wonder why! lol. Och, If the truth be known, This Is the one time of year that everyone should be having big hot meals and be all cosied up with the fire on doing something they love! Ooeer! within reason of course! lol Must go just now and refill my cup of tea and check the oven. Back Soon. xx

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    x3ncroyle1236x3  31, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 14,014 views
09
May 2007
9:40 AM EDT
   

i love computer classes... cuz i sit next to K.M.
lol
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    cbutterfly  29, Female, North Carolina, USA - 13,071 views
18
Apr 2007
11:31 AM EDT
   

Hey you guys sorry I have not posted but I have been very busy ok ttyl.
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    x3VanDyke  28, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 13,020 views
19
Jun 2007
2:49 PM EDT
   

Okay y'all it's been a good almost 1 month since ive written in here yeah not much to tell so ima go
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    silentheart  63, Female, Texas, USA - 12,895 views
22
Feb 2015
8:05 PM
   

grateful

I am grateful for my husband, my job, my house, my son, my 3 grandsons, my creativity, and especially my Heavenly Father
1 comment(s) - 06:18 AM - 03/24/2015
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    dunamis  49, Male, Australia - 12,688 views
02
Jun 2010
5:14 PM WST
   

men v women. unrealistic expectations



Seems, my wife thinks that being a man, means being a dog - literally.

Had these very exposing discussions last night with wife.

I postulated that there are characteristics in which men and women differ. I'm not talking physiology or biology, I'm talking more emotionally and socialogically. All humans possess traits and characteristics to varying degrees, irrespective of gender. But I said that there are some characteristics that women display, on average, more often than men. And there are some human qualities and characteristics that men display, on average, more often than women. This is neither good nor bad, it just is. It's an observation that has been made after correcting for age, culture, economic situation etc.

It's important to note that the characteristics I'm talking about are neutral. They're amoral. They don't carry a "good" or "bad" classification.

To qualify, I can find examples men who are more sensitive that some women. I can find fine examples of men, who will display strongly, those characteristics which women display on average more often than men. I can find women who are more aggressive than some men. There are always examples you can point to, but we're talking bell curve's here and yes, the bell curve's overlap.

She went on and on that it was no excuse. But she must have misheard me. There wasn't an attempt to make excuses, I was just stating a well accepted and statistically proven fact.

After much discussion (more like torture) she agreed that there are differences between men and women. But, here's the kicker, it turns out she thinks that any differences between men and women can be overcome by proper nuture of boys and better education.

Her argument is that characteristics that women display on average more often than men can be attained just as often by men if they were brought up properly and educated. She used road rage and slavery as examples.

When I asked her how she characterised men, she basically described a dog. She basically said all men think about is sex and procreation. She muttered something about grabbing tits, leaving mess about the place, being dirty. There was mention of abuse in the murky mix too.

So it was revealing. What I think she's saying, is that men are basically inferior humans to women and that if you can educate and nurture them better, they will display those characteristics that women currently display on average, more often.

It saddens me that she thinks of men in such a dim view, because I am one.

The conversation started because I think that marriages are suffering under the weight of false expectations. Mass media over the last thirty years has portrayed both men and women in a light which elevates expectations. Women expect men to be basically bigger versions of .... women! Men now wear women's clothes, makeup, and manscaping is a burgeoning industry. We have bromances, we're urged to get in touch with our feminine side, be sensitive, caring, in touch with our feelings, and have long conversations. We're urged to shun "typical male behavior" which is now frowned upon as being neanderthal and somewhat less human. In other words, we need to connect left brain and right brain and become more emotional beings. If only building synapses was so easy!

Men seem to expect to marry the hottest babe (who of course never slept around) but is highly charged sexually and who will stay slim and gorgeous for the rest of their married lives. We only have to look at leading ladies of the big screen. They all seem to stay hot no matter how old, or how many babies they have (and if they do let themselves go, they're never offered any more roles). Take Demi Moore, or Madonna as an example. For goodness sake, even Grandma Cher is in some creepy way still hot. But the reality is that once young women have married it is hard to keep up with the hair, the fake tan, the nails, and keep off the weight. Post childbirth, it's a hard road. It seems only a tiny minority can stay slim after one or three kids. That's just reality.

But back to the expectations.... An extremely funny video by Perfect Italiano, has a fencing expert practicing his listening face when his woman is not around. He can fence and listen. He can paint and listen. He can cook and listen to all her problems, and urgers her to "go on and on and on". It's a total crackup, but it's only funny, because it's ripping off reality.

I think if we could just understand the other gender, and realise that no matter how hard you try, you probably won't shift the bell curves and to have realistic expectations of one another. On a personal level, if you want to have a more harmonious marriage, you have to get to know the other person. You've got to leave your expecations on the threshold. It's fine to have expectations when your dating... that helps you choose your mate. But after you marry, the best you can expect is for them to be... them.

And you can't change that. You have to seek to understand, but after understanding, then accept and then choose to want that. I'm not advocating tolerance here. That's one degree above contempt. I'm advocating that you understand what you have, and choose to want what you have.

Being blinded by expecations serves no-one. Disappointment is a heartbreaker and it's hard to turn around from disappointment-ville. Disappointment comes from unmet expectations. Wouldn't it be better to expect men to be men, and women to be women? wouldn't it be easier to just understand the person you are with, than to make an idol of your expectations and in the glasshouse of idealism in which it's only a matter of time before the rock of reality smashes it all around you?

Idealism is for youth. Realism with optimism and wisdom is for the mature.

Realistically, men are never going to become women in bigger bodies no matter how much education and nurture, their nature predisposes them to display certain characteristics on average more often that women and other's less often. It will always be that way. Expecting anything different is like the first sign of madness... doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you keep making males, you'll keep getting the same results - on average.

Men aren't unrefined boorish, second rate humans any more than women are. It's just that characteristics men display on average more often aren't desirable in our society, and characteristics women display on average more often are held up as being the pinnacle of humanity.

Why else would researchers be developing a nasal spray of oxytocin (the female hormone) that men can use to achieve greater empathy?prayt Why not just implement castration once family planning is over? Forget about vasectomies, just cut the testes out and the whole world would be a happier, more harmonious caring place to live.
1 comment(s) - 09:21 PM - 06/01/2010
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    letstalk  47, Male, Iowa, USA - 12,371 views
19
May 2007
2:25 PM EDT
   

Hello everyone! I been little busy lately not working partbut I been confused in the last few weeks and I really hurt a close friend of mine that I did not mean to....I left her out of my life last month....I was not trying to but I just did not ask for her help and she took it wrong the whole relationship part. I am hoping our relationship can get back to where it was or close to where it was....I know she is saying she cares for me and etc. but I am not sure if it is back to where it was before yet or if it will because I did not pay attention to her last month do to the stress I was going through.
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