"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."
How timely this quote is. It tells the story of our dog's life. He's gone now. He's at peace.
He is missed.
special����������������������������������� 1/20/09
��������������������������������������������������������������������������������� By :Nijah A Thomas
you are so special to me
you bring a smile to me
you give a special hug
you share a special smile
you got a special happiness
that makes me happy too.
Hey,
I just had the worst day of my life 3 days ago... and now.. i guess its not that bad anymore.. its mild. WHich is not to bad,
But yes. i have to maximize my hair growth this month!
1) I'M GOING TO EXCERCISE LOTS
2)I'M GOING TO EAT HEALTHY
3) I'M GOING NATURAL - my shampoos and conditioners and yada
4) i'm not going to think my hair looks ugly.
5) i'm going to get enough sleep.. WORK HARD BLAHBEE ! WORK HARD.
6)i'M going to... drink 1 cup of soy milk a day.. LOTS OF PROTIEN.
7) i'm going to drink more water. KEEP HYDRATED.
okey dokeys i think thats good. =D
it could be my new years resolution or something. " BUILD A HEALTHY BODY anndd HEALTHY HAIR!"� heheh two birds with one stone. i guess.. kinda?
anyways
at the top it says " think of three good things that happened today and analyze why they occurred." okay.. i will do that =D since i have nothing better to do.. i dont think
1. I got time to finish my ENTIRE peanut butter sandwitch. =D WHY that occurred: I wasn't playing around in the bathroom .
2. I fixed my hair a little. WHY that occurred : I washed my hair last night so my bangs just automatically went to my normal 'side bang' side. =D
3. I boosted my self esteem once i got home. WHY that occurred: because i came home and ate some beef jerkey =D yumm
time to sign off. i'm getting tired. and like i said. ineeds exercise.
love to you all
blahbee
I'm so tired this morning. And I imagine Sean is too. He didn't know he was going to be kept�up when he turned in at around 11:30�last night.�
Radar wouldn't be quiet, he was begging from his spot in the kitchen and the noise was just enough to keep Sean awake.�After trying what he knows to�make the dog quit he comes to me. I was asleep for a short while by that time so I don't really know what to think and figure the dog just wants to relieve himself outside - so I put him�out and wait. He just stands there for what seemed like forever. I urged him to go and he usually does what I say but he just stood there and then layed down! Whatha?! It's freezing�out there, "come!" Nope, he wasn't gonna do that either, I had to put the leash on him and tug it to make him get back in the house.�
This is so wierd for him not to obey, I know he's sick and that could be resulting in�wierd behaviors but usually he obeys if he can. And he could have because once the leash�was on him he got right up and walked into the house. I told him to "down" on his pillow, "stay". I went back to bed but�within the next half hour Sean was back to�tell me he was at it again.
My only idea was to toss his pillow out on the deck and let him be out there all night. Of course I kept one�ear on the back yard, I�kept waking up wondering if he was making any noise out there.�He's never slept all night outdoors, and it seems like it wouldn't be comfortable at all - it's in the *30's out there!
I checked on him when I got up�at 5:30�he was awake, he looked at me but wasn't interested in coming in. WIERD!! What do I do?�He's sick, his heart is not beating right according to the vet, what would he say if I told him the dog wants to sleep outside? I feel stupid to call about this but I don't want another night like last night.�
�
Tear Stained�������� by Nijah A Thomas
��������������������������� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� �� 1/20/09
oh tear stained soul
why do you cry
i cry because i try to be graceful
but my wings jost fail to fly
oh tear stained heart
i cry because i try to love
but the love just runs away
oh tear stained eyes
i cry because i see the pain
but the stain just wont come out
oh tear stained child
i cry becausei am tear stained
and my soul,heart and eyes
cry with me so im not alone
in this tear stained game
Saturday morning started just like it usually does. The call came just as we were heading out the door for our walk.
Dan hadn't gotten far from our house when he drove his car blindly into the curb. The tire blew out, the rim was ruined and after Bear put the spare on we found that the damage was much worse - the spare was on right but it was crooked, oh crap! How much is this going to cost?!
As the story goes (as always) it wasn't his fault, the window was fogged up and the sun blinded him completely so when he made the left onto McDowell he just couldn't see where he was going and hit the turned out curb for the bus stop. Ok, now what?
He has to get to work, I go back home to borrow his brother's car so he can get going. He & Dad wait for the tow truck which will take his car to BigO. He heads off to work while we handle everything - as usual.
Long boring story cut short: BigO says it'll be $2500 to repair. The car isn't worth that much - not that he has it in the first place! Ok, now what? He has to have a car.
Dan & Dad went out on Sunday and got him another. It's very sharp. Hope he can make the payments...
Why am I writing about this? Because what occured to me is that as soon as�we took his call�about what happened, his problem became OUR problem! Why is that?�I/We don't know how to stand back and watch our�children suffer.�And - he isn't even a child, he's 21, he should be handling his own problems!
I keep writing (ranting) about what he should have done, what he should've known, then I backspace it out!�I'm not getting to what I'm really trying to get at here.
What are my feelings?
I'm mad, I'm resentful. He ruined my day, I didn't get to exercise and then I worried all day after that. The thought "what is he going to do?" kept buggin me.� All his recent screw-ups came flooding in to cloud up my thoughts and keep me from dealing with the here and now. I feel like I'm being overwhelmed with worries.�
1 - My dog�is dying.
2 -�My father is mourning.
3 - now this!!
As I look at it now it really doesn't seem like it should be overwhelming.�I've outlined�them�extremely short, each issue, on it's own, is very intense. Understand all the attachments to each one, there is too much!
I'm bummed, that's it.
欣赏� 简 奥斯丁
17 January 2009
跟敦敦一道欣赏了简 奥斯丁的作品系列。我问敦敦，为何简一辈子没有结婚但将爱情写得昏天黑地。敦敦说，有爱情的人享受自己的爱情，眼睛只往里看，正因为简未得到爱情，她才能眼睛往外看，细致地观察别人的爱情。
经历过缘分的阴差阳错，简把对爱的渴望倾注笔尖。擅长烹调穷人，富人，尤其是中产阶级间的恩怨情仇大菜, 在人们慢慢品尝这爱情的盛宴时，就会知道简最为擅长使用误解的折磨这味辛辣调料。爱和误解是天平两边的砝码，爱越深误解也就越重，按中国人的说法叫做，剪不断理还乱，别有一番滋味在心头。女主角在跌宕起伏中识别对方，也顺便看清楚自己。
不论在何种年代，party上，没有男友的女孩的眼睛是扫描机，而有老婆的人眼神是广角镜头。人人都想得到理想爱情，但总会与自己认为是最好的情人擦肩而过。这种猎奇有些时候是个冒险的旅程，搞不好闹得遍体鳞伤，因此在一定年龄后为了不被爱情烤焦，大部分人用婚礼向世人宣布自己终止了本能的探索。简的故事多半写到结婚就不往下写了。每写一个故事，她都投入情感，踏实地在笔纸间恋爱一回。
我问敦敦，假设简结了婚还能是成功的作家吗？当然。敦敦回答道，只是做她的丈夫的人多少会有些不自在。如果简有孩子，她会把养育孩子作为主题来贯穿，而不只专注青年男女扑朔迷离的情爱。现在书店里的书太多了，忙乱的生活里要不要花时间来了解了解英国中产阶级骨子里要命的‘含蓄’之爱，You might do as well suppose.
牛年真‘牛’
10 January , 2009
牛年转眼就到了，属牛的敦敦，长驱直上地进入长牛骨阶段。接近自己第一个本命年的孩子，情绪激昂，脾气跳动。
为控制他玩Wii 的时间，我们这对属牛的母子常有肢体冲撞的时候，上个星期敦敦冲动的时候，朝我的胳膊就是一拳，虽然不太重，但足以打醒了老牛。这小牛不仅长身体，脾气也同步见涨，大有软硬不吃的劲头。老牛深知两牛相争勇者胜的道理，痛定思痛，调整方略。当晚就告知小牛，他长大了，可以独立照顾自己了，从今往后老牛对他的生活不会太加干涉，但要求小牛自己对自己负责，包括每天准备自己的早餐。小牛对此没有异议。从那天起，他按时6点半随闹钟摸黑起床，自己热牛奶，烤面包和香肠，吃完饭，把盘子端到厨房，自己按时上学，一切料理得比老牛想象的顺畅自然。
不挨一拳，老牛还真不知道小牛这样的‘牛’。热烈推荐，牛年孩子的妈妈们，是可以放手让小牛们尝试自己做早餐的快乐滋味了。
IT ALL STARTED WITH TWO PEOPLE NAMED DEBRA E SIMMONS AND TIMOTHY V BECKWITH. DEBRA WAS 18 AND TIMOTHY WAS 19. THEY MET ON JULY 23 1982, WELL LETS SKIP ALL THE OTHER STUFF AND GET TO THE POINT LOL. AROUND THE YEAR OF 1986 DEBRA WAS GETTING READY TO GOT TO THE ARMY BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED. SHE FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT SO SHE DIDNT DO WHAT SHE HAD PLANED AND ON SEPTEMBER 2 1986 THEY GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY, THEY NAMED HIM TIMOTHY V BECKWITH JR. SO TIOMTHY GOT A JOB OUT ON THE RODE SO HE WAS NEVER HOME, DEBRA HAD TWO JOBS TO PAY THE BILLS AND SO SHE COULD RAISE HER BABY BOY. WELL ABOUT 3 YEARS LATER SHE FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT AGAIN. THIS TIME SHE GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY GIRL ON OCTOBER 2 1989. WELL DEBRA NAMED HER NATASHA. AND THAT BRING US TO ME. SINCE MY FATHER WAS NEVER AROUND TO HEPL HER RAISE US TWO KIDS SHE HAD TO GET THREE JOBS. SO THAT WAS PRETTY HARD ON HER. SO WE MOVED IN WITH HER MOTHER DIXIE MY GRANDMOTHER. WELL SHE TOOK CARE OF US WHILE SHE WAS WORKING. WELL MY FATHER CAME BACK AROUND FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THEY STARTED HAVE PROBLEMS SO THEY SEPARATED. MY FATHER MOVED TO CONROE AND I STAYED WITH MY MOTHER AND MY BROTHER WENT WITH MY FATHER. A FEW MONTHS LATER MY FATHER BRINGS MY BROTHER BACK. WELL WHEN I WAS 4 AND MY BROTHER JUST TURNED 8, MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY. SO WE MOVED TO CONROE TO LIVE WITH OUR GRANDMOTHER. MY FATHER STILL WASNT AROUND MUCH. SO MY GRANDMOTHER PRETTY MUCH RAISED US. MY FATHER GOT IN TO SOME BAD STUFF AFTER MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY SO HE WAS NEVER A GOOD FATHER. I REALLY DONT KNOW WHO MY FATHER WAS THE ONLY THING I KNOW ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE WAS NEVER THERE FOR US. MY BROTHER AND I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR EACH OTHER EVERY SINCE MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY. WE HAVE BECAME BEST FRIENDS. WHEN I WAS 9 YEARS OLD MY FATHER GOT MARRIED TO A LADY HE MET WHILE HE WAS OUT ON THE RODE. HER NAME IS SHERI SHE WAS 27 AND SHE HAD A LITTLE GIRL NAMED BROOKE. WE THEN MOVED TO ALABAMA, WE LIVED THERE FOR ABOUT A YEAR. SHERI AND MY FATHER STARTED HAVEING THERE PROBLEMS SO WE MOVED BACK TO TEXAS. MY FATHER AND BROTHER BOTH WHERE ALWAYS IN AND OUT OF JAIL SO I LIVED WITH MY GRANDMOTHER. WHEN I WAS 16 I MOVED TO COLORADO TO LIVE WITH MY AUNT CONNIE AND UNCLE MIKE AND MY CUZS ALLISON AND KAYLEIGH. ALLISON WAS 14 AND KAYLEIGH WAS 18. WHILE I WAS UP THERE KAYLEIGH GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY GIRL, SHE NAMED HER HANNAH LAUREN. HANNAH WAS BORN ON AUG. 7 2006. A FEW MONTHS LATER I MOVED BACK TO TEXAS TO LIVE WITH MY GRANDMOTHER. ON JANUARY 11 2007 MY GRANDMOTHERS YOUNGEST SON WHICH WAS MY UNCLE TYSON WAS MURDERED. AND JUST SO YOU KNOW I'M JUST TRYING TO GET YOU UP TO DATE ON WHAT IS GOING ON. NOW BACK TO A FEW THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME, I MET THIS GUY ON THE INTERNET AND WE TALKED FOR A LONG TIME ON THE PHONE AND WE SENT EMAILS BACK AND FORTH. WELL AFTER ALL THE TALKING HE TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME, SO I MOVED TO SOUTH CAROLINA TO BE WITH HIM. WELL THINGS DIDNT WORK OUT SO GOOD SO I MOVED BACK TO TEXAS. TWO DAYS AFTER I GOT BACK FROM SOUTH CAROLINA I MET THIS GUY NAMED BRAD. ON APRIL 9 2007 BRAD AND I STARTED DATING, WE BROKE UP A FEW TIME BUT EVERYONE HAS THERE PROBLEMS. AFTER BEING TOGETHER A FEW MONTHS WE WANTED TO GET MARRIED BUT WE COULDNT BECAUSE I WAS ONLY 17 AND HE WAS 18. SO WE WAITED UNTILL A LITTLE AFTER MY 18TH BIRTHDAY WE GOT MARRIED ON JAN 11 2008. WELL NOW YOU ARE ALMOST UP TO DATE. IT IS NOW JAN 18 2009 AND WE HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER WE HAVE TWO DOGS WE ARE ABOUT TO BIULD A HOUSE, WE DONT HAVE ANY KIDS YET BUT ONE DAY WE HOPE TO HAVE SOME. MY FATHER AND BROTHER ARE STILL LIVING WITH MY GRANDMOTHER, MY FATHER IS 43 AND MY BROTHER IS 22, NOW THATS SAD I'M 19 MARRIED AND OUT ON MY OWN.�
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