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Fall with love with him.

I wait a lot of time, and this is the best day for 3 months...

He told me he didn't feel the way he used to  he wanted something more than what i was giving him he wanted to actually kiss me and hold me and touch me and make love to me. He wanted to hold my hand all in all he wanted a PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP ......i kept pleading and crying but that was all useless...he left anyway.  I called him on his mobile but he had disconnected it...i didnt dare call him on his house phone(maybe once or twice i did....but i always hanged up)

I kept calling his mobile on hope that he may have reconnected it again...but all invein. I was very hurt. It was hard to sleep at night without him on the other side of the phone listening to my snore, i cried alot and lost 12 kilos in the process(at least thats the only good thing to come out of it....but eddy loved his women curvy, he loved ass the most)

I emailed him  just to let all my emotions out...no one knows about me and Eddy so it was really hard during my time of grief...i had absoutley no support from anyone but like they  say what doesn"t kill me only makes me stronger!

He honestly told me he  that he was at first  attracted to the fake myspace girl's looks but fell in love with ME simply because of my personality... thankfully he forgave me.

My realtionship with Eddy for 19 months was nothing but emotional, we have never met  physically he doesnt even have a picture of what i look like. This took a toll on him and he broke it off.

I refused to accept that...i actually stalked him!!! Calling him 5 times a day he never botherd to pick up my calls so that infuriated me even more. I recall calling his house phone once he picked up and quickly changed his accent and said "this is Eddy's dad Sorry he isnt home" The same thing kept happening whenever anyone picked up the phone....they always claimed he was out

Two weeks later he called we talked and out of nowhere he gave me a kiss. Turns out that was a one night stand!!  a friend of his texted me saying Eddy was confused when he came back to me.......like before i kept on fighting for our love to come back. The response not what i had excpected

I'm a dreamer i'm constantly day dreaming hence my username. This is just a recap of what has happend in the past two years.

I met some one...lets call him Eddy*. We met on myspace, We clicked just like that though it was a very slow devloping relationship. We were on platonic grounds for a year. we flirted occasionaly

I sent him a myspace message giving him my  telephone number informing him that i had left myspace. Guess what i didnt delete the myspace...i dunno why i just didn't.

we talked for hours and hours about everything and nothing topics ranged from sex to politics and even family..... I got to know a great deal about him,myself and the world. When we talked it was like the whole world did not mater....it was nothing but sheer bliss

what happens next is just a force of nature we fell in love....by the way i told him i loved him first.

Every Teenager Has Worries.

What Am I oing To Wear tommorrow.

Why Doesn`tt Anyone Understand Me.

My Math`ss Homework is due in

Justt Lil Thing`ss.

In My Exprience sooo far i had all thesse plus more. theyy all essulated up into one big problem. It Kinda All Started With These Group Of MAte`ss I Hung Owtt With. The Crowd That Smoked Diid Drug`s Etc. Eventually I Gave Into Peer Presure. And Was Doing All That. My Life Wasn`tt Too Bad Until This Boy  Came Into itt. Ohh How I Loved Him. I Was Young Butt VEerytime I saw Him I Thought Of Perfection, And Everytime He Smiled My Way Justt Melted My Heart. Calling Him Mine Made Me The Happiest Person ever! I Wasn`t Perfect Butt He Except all My Flaw`ss Accepted Me FAwr Who I Am He Wads NIce Sincer Butt Of All Thing`ss He Was Mine. I Actuall Thought We Could Lastt Forvever Butt On That Saturday Morning Hey Said Thing`ss Werent Workking Owtt. We Should Just BE Mates. I Don`tt Thinkk Anyone Understood How Hard TThat Was For Me. Mascara Runing Down My Face All Day. Every Lil Thing Reminded Me Of Him. I Really Wanted Too Gett Over Himm I Was Silly And Diid Itt In The Stupidest Way Ever. Giving Head Too A Guy I Had Known For About 3 or 4 Week`s. Goshh That Justt Give Me A Reputatiion As A Slutt!!! On That Sunday Night I Gott A Txt- From My Ex Saying

Him'Hey. How`ve You Been?'

Me'Not Soo Good Butt Trynah Gett Better'

Him' Neither. I Can`t Believe I Lett The Bestt Girl In My Life go'

Me' I`m Nott Gonna Lie. Yes Losing You Was The Hardest Thing For Me. And I Still Don'tt understand Why?'

Him' I Never Should Of. I Miss You Like Crazy. I`ld Do Anything too Gett You Back. Hurting You Hurt Me More Then Anything. I Love Youu. Can You Give Us Another Shot. . . PLEASE'

That Was It. I Was Sooo Confused. I Still Loved Him But Wasn`tt Sure If It Was The Right Thing. What If I Got Hurt Again. I Couldnt Bare going Thru That Again. Butt Without Him There Was Really Nothing Good In Life. I Told Him I Would If He Promised Neever To Hurt ME Again. He Said He Couldn`t Do That. At The Time I Believed Him. Butt Lil Did I Know How Bad Hee Could Play With My Heart. ANd How Bad He Could Hurtt ME Again. . .

I felt the surge of static all over my body. The feeling stayed for a while, numbing my senses. Then I felt very light. Suddenly all colors became a myriad of emotions. Everything abound me seemed to become as beautiful as rainbow. I felt myself drifting away. Away from what? I wanted to ask. But I was more overwhelmed by the beauty.

I saw my body lying on the familiar bed, facing opposite my wife. The face was never a face of contentment. Poor me. Always dreaming for joy I could never find but could never find it. Always hoping for the blissful peace of mind that seemed so elusive in this world.

But what is this? Is this still the world I know? I felt drifting away from it every minute. The sensation was different. The feeling was so strange, yet so pleasing. It was the most delightful feeling I ever had since I started knowing life. It was beyond life. It was beyond reality.

Reality drifted away from me. I found myself in a state of nothing, completely aware of peace, peace I've never had. It was a peace that made me smile. It was a peace I have always longed for.

Then the feeling of loneliness started building up inside me, like a thorn in my heart that I wanted to ease but I could not. I looked around and searched for other beings like me, but I could not find anyone. I was alone in that void. There was none to be with. What is the purpose of existing in any state if I would be alone? What is the use of beauty if you could not share it?

I discovered a new truth. After finding the peace of mind almost everyone is searching for, you would eventually turn to find someone to share it with.

In real life, that peace is impossible.

Even if it could be possible, sharing it would be a disaster.

Peace is destroyed the moment you share peace with another.

Pity.

I did not notice the tear drop falling from my eye.

You're not alone...

I heared the voice from my mind more than from my ear. It was the most beautiful female voice I have ever heard. I turned around and saw her. No, I did not saw her. My five senses seemed to be gone. I am now sensing with my heart. I am seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting with my heart. Or is it really my heart?

Who are you? I asked her. I could not make up better words though I wanted to. The words came off like instinct, coming from within instead of from the lips.

I am she, she told me.

The feeling of joy on meeting her was already inexplicable. It felt as if our souls are bridged immediately by the nothingness surrounding us. It was as if I was a cotyledon of a seed and she was the other half. She seemed to be my perfect match, seeing through emotions, feeling through the heart.

Thank you for being here, I said. I felt her happiness. I felt her smile. I could feel through her. I could see what she saw. And I could feel her sense of fulfilment on meeting me.

It is I who must thank you, she replied.

Her heart met mine, as if we're drawn to a tight embrace but the sensation was more than that. I felt her heart expressing happiness, contentment, peace, and love. Somehow I feel the same way, and I knew she felt through me.

My soul skipped with joy. It felt like heaven.

I have been looking for you, she told me.

I know, I answered. Me too...

ok, so there's this guy i've liked for about four or five years. and i can hardly speak when i try to talk to him! and when i'm around him i always try to act out or make him notice me. he talks to me and he's REALLY nice. but i just get so nervous!!! i just want to act cool and calm. but i am just so scared he'll laugh in my face. oh, and he's like, 3 years olderer than me, but i read that it doesn't matter if he's under 4 years older than you.

has anyone else gone through this type of thing? if you have could u plz give me advice. it would REALLY help! thnx so much!

i am acually jelous of my best friend Kayla's realashinship because she has a guy who truely cares..and no guy at my schools like me like that.. I feel horible..ibut i could get a guy on here like that *snaps* but i want a guy i kniow uin real other wise he can't hold my hand or kiss me or anything it truely sux!


love your favorite emo girl-
Kitty