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I am not in the mood to write, I even feel like not doing anything today. But I have to keep myself busy,well, that's my plan so that I won't be drowned with my own emotions. I have to block all the negative feelings, I have to go away with my own hassles in life. I have to do this or else everyday will be a trouble day for me and I won't let that happen, I wont let my emotions eat me and corrupt all the positive vibes that Ill be having all through out the day.

Life is full of twists and turns isn't it.? Life doesnt provide us with everyday happiness, sometimes there are things that were meant to happen to teach us lessons. Lessons through experiences, and those lessons will always be our guide to do the right thing the next time we are faced into a similar situation. Dramas are the best ingredients to human life. It brings us the different kind of taste, something unexplainable but worth it. You might never understand what I am blogging here, Am I making a sense to you either? (lol) Actually I dont know..

People are unpredictable, am I right? Some might be good and some might be evil in nature. How far should we trust people? Lets say someone stranger offers you a helping hand, would you trust him that he wont let you fall and he wont let you down when rough times come? How easy do you trust people? Does it depends on the number of years knowing each other? If yes, then why do other people end up pulling each others feet down after being best of friends for six years in time? Why do lovers break up and obliterate each other trust after spending years and years od being together? And why other people can trust someone whom they only knew and met in a minutes time but yet they click together like forever?????  Why? Can somebody explain why people had this kind of erratic ATTITUDE towards trust?

 IF Love is patient, love is kind.  IF It does not envy, it does not boast, IF  it is not proud, IF  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, IF it is not easily angered, IF    it keeps no record of wrongs, IF Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  IF It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, WHO WILL LOVE US THE WAY LOVE WAS DEFINED ABOVE? Yes try to tell me, only God can, and I will understand. What I am seeking and asking here is can't  us people love the same way like god is loving us? Cant we be patient, be kind, be not envious, be not boastful, be not rude, be not proud, be not self seeking, be not angered. Cant we people keep no records of wrong but learned to be forgiving? Cant we rejoice in God hand and right truth. Cant we protect, TRUST, HOPE and persevere to achieved the meaning of LOVE, TO OUR PARENTS, TO OUR FAMILY, FRIENDS,LOVE ONES AND TO THOSE STRANGERS WHO MIGHT BE IN NEED AND WHO NEED TO FEEL THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE?

I guess the circumstances that I am facing right now is an indication, a wke up call for me, to know and to seek for the true meaning of love, not only as a lover of a single soul but a lover for all mankind. I guess writing this one is done with a purpose, I am encouraging you not to focus loving a sigle soul alone, but let us love ourself too and others. Love is not only felt when we are into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, Love is not only felt when we are with our friends, with our family, Love is felt when like God, we love all the people around us. It's a great feeling and its a great Lesson I have learnt.

TO ALL WHO TRY TO FIND LOVE

If you find yourself in love with someone
and that someone does not love you
be gentle to youself
there is nothing wrong with you
love just did not to rest in that someone's heart

If you find someone in love with you
and you can not answer that love
feel honoured that love came by and called on you door
but gently refuse the feeling you cannot return
as love did not choose to settle in you heart

If you find yourself in love with someone
and the love returned
it still can happen that love chooses to leave
do not try to reclaim it and do not assess any blame
let it despite the pain
there is a reason and meaning to this....

You cannot choose love by yourself
LOVE CHOOSES YOU.

My life changes fast. I hate it, I hate change. It makes me look back on how things used to be and makes me realize how much older im getting and how fast times are going by. Its a giant mystery as to what happens after its all over. Is there really a heaven and hell? Is there just nothing? Maybe my whole life just gets rewound like a movie and is constantly being replayed. Is it possible that i could be dying right now but at the same time be being born? I dont know what to believe. It just makes life harder and more confusing than it already is to begin with.

My name is Steve, and I am an asshole. I don't like talking to people i don't know. People have always just come off as strange and/or stupid to me. I dont like thinking im above these people, or below them, but i hate to think of putting myself on the same level as everyone around me. Aside from my girlfriend, i seem to be the only one that's capable of taking a step back from everything once in a while and looking at how thigns really are. I dont like living in a fairy tale world. I am addicted to reality, so im sorry.

Love is a feeling people seem to not know a lot about. Love is a terrible and horriffic thing. Your whole world becomes a world that revolves around the one you love. Your life is filled with the obligation to care for this person and please them before you please yourself. Make them feel happy no matter what the cost. You do these things for this person not becasue you HAVE to do it, but becasue you WANT to. With love comes hardships. Fighting. Arguing. Paranoia. Get used to these things when you decide to love someone. (although to be fair, you can't "decide" to love someone, it just happens) Yes, with love you wil feel happiness beyond any boundaries you previously thought possible, but it's not always going to be strawberries and orgasms. With love comes a lot of bad feelings and a huge load on your mind. But its a feeling i wouldn't give up for the world. Nothing can ever beat the feeling of being loved/cared for by someone, or the feeling of loving/caring for someone yourself. This person that you love, he or she will become your world. Love is nothing short of obssession, this person will be on your mind 24 hours a day. Love is a terrible horrific thing, but when you put those two words together you get terriffic.... just sayin'. Love is, the best feeling you can possibly have. Only the luckiest people in the world will ever feel what true love is. And it is one damn hard thing to describe.

Depression. It is NOT fun in the least bit. NOTHING is fun when you're depressed. Your life is your hell. Ending it would be nice, but then you'd just be another statistic. You'd be labeled as crazy. And if you fail at doing yourself in, then it just makes the rest of your life even harder. To be honest, ive never wanted to truly kill myself, ive always known that there's always someone out there who's got it harder than me, and ive always known that hard times come and go. Love can lead you to depression (it didnt for me, but it easily can happen) That's another reason why love sucks. If that special person were to walk out of your life and you still loved them, I'd imagine it's like a slingshot that shoots you ten times further into hell than you were to begin with. No point in trying to be happy, you'll just get shot down in the end anyway. Happiness is a pipe dream and dream don't come true. Nothing lasts forever, and nothing ever will. Life sucks, but somehow it still goes on..... (i've come close to losing my special lady so i've got a pretty good idea of how this feels and that's how my mind would think.)

Life is a hard and confusing place.....

This girl amazes me.
It's as if I'm no longer awake, as if I'm stuck in a dream where something so perfect is actually possible, believable. I am stuck with her, and damn lucky for it. Without this girl, I would be fucked. She is all i have, want and need. Normally I'd hate myself for being so typical but in this situation i can FEEL it. Like something inside me is telling me to always stay with her and be by her side. She has done far more for me than any other person possibly could EVER do. This girl is mine, and will forever be mine. Love is one of the greatest steps towards true happiness. True love is all you need to be happy. I am happy now. I was oblivious to the meaning of love and happiness before my world became whole. Now i understand that i was just incomplete before, missing something that was needed. Something i had never felt so strongly before. She gives me a purpose in life, she IS my purpose in life. We were meant for each other, meant to complete each other and live life together.This is something deeper than any temporary infatuation that momentarily grabs hold of you. No, this isn't me just getting caught up in the moment. This is something that everyone DREAMS of, something that hardly anyone is lucky enough to ever feel in their entire LIFE. This is what i feel true love is. This is what i feel when it comes to this girl. She is every possible thing i could ever ask for and i can never be more thankful that we found each other when we did.
This girl amazes me......