All That Jazziette

 
    
18
Sep 2011
9:41 PM CST
   

Spreading my gossamer wings...


It's time to come out of the cocoon and to taste the beautiful and exotic mystery of life once more.

Breathe deep.....feel the unparallelled freedom of letting go!

Bask in the intoxication of your very own unique and exquisite being.

Time to fly again....like the miracle of the butterfly.





1 comment(s) - 10:33 PM - 11/01/2014
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Current Tags: adventure, depression, jazziette, life, love, rebirth, spiritual

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06
Jun 2009
1:45 AM MST
   

Overcoming Depression

I'm working on it as much as I can but it is difficult.� I think some of it has to do with the medication and then there is just the situation as it is.�

I should have never gone back to the Yahoo boards. The harassment is never ending.� I feel like I have a hole in my heart big enough to drive a truck through.� I should never go back but I can't seem to help myself.

I don't feel like writing much today.� Last night was so difficult I woke up feeling terrible. Just when I think things are better it seems I have a relapse.

I don't feel like doing anything today.� I feel defeated. Robert will be here soon for breakfast and I need to get dressed.�

I can tell it's going to be a full moon.� I'm so exhausted.� I think I will go back to bed and skip breakfast.

Maybe I'll write more later.

1 comment(s) - 02:01 PM - 06/06/2009
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05
Jun 2009
7:38 AM MST
   

Retreat

Pain, hurt, sorrow, guilt, shame, frustration, rejection, fear, remorse........despair.

4 comment(s) - 02:03 PM - 06/06/2009
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04
Jun 2009
2:41 AM MST
   

Thanks for the Quotes

Whoever is sending me these, thank you.� I love them.� I really liked this one I received today:

"If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

:)

The "vast and edless sea".� I love those words. I suppose I will always yearn for the ocean.� After all......I was born on the coast and learned how to swim in the sea.� it's a part of me that will always be.� My earliest and fondest recollections are of the ocean.

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04
Jun 2009
2:34 AM MST
   

Annoyed

I can't believe I just spent the last hour writing a post and then I lost it. Where is the save feature on here? Oh well...I suppose it wasn't that important but I do want to get back to those times in New Orleans at the gallery and the Hotel Delaposte. :) It's strange how something like how much you love your coffee in the morning can remind you of a time in your life you had almost forgotten. LOL

I'll have to reconstruct it.� Dang it makes me mad when that happens! :(

4 comment(s) - 04:25 PM - 06/07/2009
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03
Jun 2009
5:36 AM MST
   

I never thought I could be hacked.....

I was shocked when I found out my account had been hacked.� Silly me.� Wh,en I got the really strange email from Keith that read like one of those you get from Nigeria asking for money I thought it was some kind of joke.� I almost played along with it and was going to make up one of my own and send it back to him.� But then I got his letter of apology and explanation that his computer had been hacked and he had set up new firewalls.� I wrote him back asking him to send me a cashier's check for the two grand I sent him. LOL Kiddingly of course.�

And then WHAM.....it never occurred to me that whoever hacked his computer had my email address.� Well, of course they had it!� They had all his email contacts. That's how I got the weird email from him to begin with.� I wonder how hackers get in?� All these years and I had never even changed my password one time. I guess that was pretty stupid of me. :(� Oh well......I rarely used it anymore anyway.

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03
Jun 2009
7:24 AM MST
   

Recovery

I love my little google journal so much.� I miss Yahoo but igoogle is just so cool.� I did post a bit on the love thread at Yahoo today.� No one will read it....but it made me feel good just to be able to post my feelings.� I took a look at t&p and things were pretty much the same.� I am sure I will never post there again.� Being sick broke the addiction.� Finally.

It has been a very long time recovering from being sick and not even realizing how sick I was.� My last two surgeries were very successful and I visit the� doctor today after not having seen him in two weeks.� I missed my appointment yesterday...I don't know why but I thought it was Thursday. In fact I had it entered on my calendar for the 4th, but I was wrong.� But when they called me to re-schedule they were so nice.� It's really a great thing when you have a doctor you really like and really trust and even look forward to seeing.� Everyone in his office is so pleasant.� I know he will be pleased with my progress. �

It has been good to be able to do things again.� I am beginning to feel 'normal' again...whatever that is.� I am sure I have never been really 'normal'. LOL� I have begun to use my computer again.� It's strange how you can miss something so terribly and then after a little while you just kind of forget about it.� I suppose I got back into my 'real world' again.� I am sad about losing my online friends.� But I suppose I really lost them long ago.� I am so grateful that I have Robert and he truly is wonderful to me.� All the things we have been through these last six years (almost) have been worth it.� I can't imagine ever being without him again.� I know now that he truly does love me.� I can hardly wait to see him tonight.� He just brings so much joy into my life with just the simple things.� There is so much that we enjoy together that no one else can understand. We are both nature lovers.� We are both spiritualists and view faith and religion in the same way.� Both of us see God as the whole (all that there is) and, as such, each one of us is a part of God.� Every star, every planet, the sun and the moon, the wind and the rain.....each tree and flower....all creatures....they are all a part of God.� He believes this just as strongly as I do and it gives me such comfort to have someone I can share my spirituality with and who understands how I feel and who feels the same.

More later...time to run some errands now.

Tags: healing, look
1 comment(s) - 04:13 PM - 10/28/2012
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Current Tags: healing, look

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