Im not going to sit here complaining how "life sucks" and how�I "hate" my parents. Im not that ignorant,�I know for a fact that there's a lot
of kids who are far worse off than�I am. Not many kids can accept that though. They feel as if people actually care to hear them whining about how "shitty" their lives are. Most of the time it's
just them crying about how they have the worst parents in the world. It's annoying to hear, not only because they're acting like two year olds who don't get their way, but because their parents
ACTUALLY CARE!!! Kids like these deserve to get smacked. I hate hearing you little kids say "i hate my parents" because you dont!! If even one of your parents were to die tomorrow, you KNOW you
would be taking those words back as fast as you could. You can't "hate" your parents because they yelled at you one time in who knows how long. I suggest taking a look in the mirror to see who the
real asshole is, becasue odds are its not your parents. Although some people DO have some unfit parents. Parents that come out and say "you dont matter" and constantly remind you that you ruined
THEIR life and how they cant wait until you're 18 so you can stop wasting their money. These kids who "hate" their loving parents have no idea what its like to have parents that hate YOU. They
don't have to struggle to keep themselves alright in the head. They dont have to worry about getting brainwashed into thinking they're just a piece of shit. They don't get to feel any REAL physical
pain or have that constant mental strain. But somehow they still "hate" their loving parents. Kids like this deserve to see what it's like living with REAL problems with parents that clearly don't
give a fuck about you. I'd LOVE to see how those kids would react to THEIR mom dragging them through the house and kicking them out in the winter without so much as a pair of shoes. I doubt they'd
still "hate" their parents because they got their xbox taken away. Asshole kids, there's too many of them, it's worse than a damn plague. I'm used to crap like this. I'm used to the fact that MY
mom will never and has never loved me. According to her, I'm just a�"faggot�little bitch" while�the asshole kids with big mouths get tucked in at night and get called "honey bunchkins"......�Most
kids�have no clue what it feels like to be hated by your parents. But they will still always open their mouths to say "I hate my parents"........ fuck you, you'll never understand, you'll just
never get it.
1. they wernt there when you baught it
2. they haven't seen it
3. they dont evean now where you live
it agravates me! But 1 thing i've learned in my life is 2 forgive the lyers and gossipers help the helpless and be friendly
2 the people who have no friends.
�And fix the broken hearts that you find!
� A friendly note from
�Heart peace girl
On facebook everyone keeps putting me as "the drama queen", "the dramatic one",or "the slow one"! WTF people?
Am I seriously that bad or are people just that mean? I mean, Brandi's more dramatic than I am&& she's always acting depressed.
Yeah she'll smile and laugh every once in awhilebut she usually is in a bad mood or keeps to herself (sorry to whoever likes her)
I hate high school. to much drama for me to handle. Sometimes I wish I was a senior and school was almost
over, because then i get to choose if i want to go to school or not&& and if i didnt want to then i didnt have to.
ooooo i love all these colors i can choose from. they're so
i'm kind of wierd right now. i'm really bored and
theres nothing to do and no one to talk to except emma (no offense)
i dont want to go to
school tomorrow. altho freshmen are designing t-shirt for the service learning project which is all im looking forward to besides spring break and summer. other than that i dont think theres
anything else to look forward too. all the dances are over except the junior and senior prom (blahk!)
i cant wait for this weekend. im going over to my friend gabbys house and her cousin smmy is coming over and we are so gonna rock out!and we get to paint the basement of her church
(which is my old church). and then i get to hang out with all my friends from there likechris and brooke and maybe steve if katy isnt there. katy doesnt like me. i dont know why, she just doesnt.
anyways she dont matter. i wonder if brittany is still a big prep...
im cold. my house is cold...heat! ahahaha. i just turned up the heat. yay.
i am soo bored and dont feel like going to bed or finishing my science homework. which i should do because i cant fail
this trimester or i have to retake the class over summer or second trimester when im a sophmore...i'll just finish it in the morning. so i think im done with this entry because its probably really
My feelings are blank..
There's so much I want to say to so many people but I can't... ok maybe only two people and technicall I could�tell them but I don't want to I don't want to have to face these people and try to
tell them what needs to be told... I miss them and feel bad for leaving but should I say that I am better off now that I was before, should I mention that I feel like a stupid naive little
school girl around them or should I not disclose any of the discomfort I felt and just tell them a half-truth... Too many options and too many�reasons that I should�just say nothing at all...
Basically the reason for those above thoughts is that a few weeks ago... or was it a few months ago.. I can't be sure really because time flies and sometimes it seems like�I can never catch up
but anyway I used to be part of a group apropriately self-named the FQ's (flirt queens). They flirted with anyone the could get their hands on and for fifteen year old virgins they were pretty
experienced/knowledgable. Ok so my di scription is a little Over The Top.. they wouldn't flirt with everyone but they were still big time flirts and I'm not saying I'm unknowledgable in that
field but around them I felt like a naive little (primary) school girl. So they were informally known the FQ's but I wasn't.. I was a misfit in their group of belt short skirts and extremely
low cut tops. I was ignored and felt mildly exiled so I left because the reason that I had joined that group in the first place was because I was running from the last group I was in where�I
was replaced�by my�best friend (emily)�for another girl called Amy. But when�I left I went back to that old group with Amy and Emily. You have no idea how great it was... I felt like I belonged
Besides in my new group I have other things to worry about; the rise of Amanda the two-faced backstabbing bitch who I hate for so many reasons I can't list them all here, the newly inseperable
'best friends forever' bond between Amy and Ashlea (they pretty much rub it in everyone's face) that is hurting Emily while also pissing me off and Amy's obsession with a band called Mcfly
which makes it ten million times harder to talk to her because the only topic she will willingly discuss is how awesome/hot/fantasticly talented/great/sexy all members of Mcfly are. Her topics
are becoming repetative and I don't know how much more I can take of her blabbing about interviews with them, how funny they are and how she wants them to strip for her.
Another mind bothering thing is 'P' why she is named this is uncertain but it was a secret kept between Amy, Amanda and Ashlea (the three A's). With the power of my sea mokeys (i.e brain cells)
and my awesome eavesdropping skills I was able to determin that P was either Myself or Kate and I was quite sure it was Kate untill everyone started telling me that it wasn't me which brought
up the saying "tho doth prtest too much". I now know for sure that it is P because Emily confronted Amanda with y evidence and found out that P like I had originally thought was Kate. But I am
not allowed to speak a word of it to anyone which is lameee. But I shall disclose the facts and obvious reasons why I believed P was Kate...
Reasons Why 'P' was Kate or Me
Thats all for now in tha amazing life of me...
love to all those who deserve it but none for people that�I for minimal reasons�hate *cough*Amanda*cough* lets just say that my feelings for her relate to the lyrics of the song "I
never liked you" by the rouge traders in particular the line "I never liked you even when�I tried to" because I did actually have a period of time where i went out of my way to try and like her
and not be so hating of her but nomatter how much I tried I could never bring myself to like her and if I started to she would do something that made me hate her all over again... well EFF
Asta La Pasta, My dear online diary for you are my saviour and seemingly only person I can discuss all of these things with except emily who I can discuss all of these topics with excluding the
Amanda topic because she hearts amanda like everyone else in the group does..
He told me he didn't feel the way he used to��he wanted something more than what i was giving him he wanted to�actually kiss me
and hold me and touch me and make love to me. He wanted to hold my hand�all in all he wanted a PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP�......i kept pleading and crying but that was all useless...he left anyway.� I
called him on his mobile but he had disconnected it...i didnt dare call him on his house phone(maybe once or twice i did....but i always hanged up)
I kept calling his mobile on hope that he may have reconnected it again...but all invein. I was very hurt. It was hard to sleep at night without him on the other side of the phone listening to my
snore, i cried alot and lost 12 kilos in the process(at least thats the only good thing to come out of it....but eddy loved his women curvy, he loved ass the most)
I emailed him� just to let all my emotions out...no one knows about me and Eddy so it was really hard during my time of grief...i had absoutley no support from anyone but like they� say what
doesn"t kill me only makes me stronger!
He honestly told me he� that he was at first �attracted to the fake myspace girl's looks but fell in love with�ME simply because of my personality... thankfully he forgave me.
My realtionship with Eddy for 19 months was nothing but emotional, we have never met� physically he doesnt even have a picture of what i look like. This took a toll on him and�he broke it off.
I refused to accept that...i actually stalked him!!! Calling him 5 times a day he never botherd to pick up my calls so that infuriated me even more. I recall calling his house phone once he picked
up and quickly changed his accent and said "this is Eddy's dad Sorry he isnt home" The same thing kept happening whenever anyone picked up the phone....they always claimed he was out
Two weeks later he called we talked and out of nowhere he gave me a kiss. Turns out that was a one night stand!!� a friend of his texted me saying Eddy was confused when he came back to
me.......like before i kept on fighting for our love to come back. The response not what i had excpected
Well there really is not much to
say there is alot going on in my life and I dont really know what to do about all of it...I am back to cutting and that sucks... I have had a few slip ups in the last few weeks which is not good..
But its okay..Me and kris are doing okay.. and all of viv's puppies are growing up to be beautiful! I love my vivvy... and now we have star trigger anna bell bear and trey... all of which I will
have to sell soon... but I think that scott is going to get to keep trey... He is really excited especially with me and kris moving out soon!!! I HOPE,,,, Mom kicked us out agian but as normal she
was all Im sorry by the end of the day... I love my kris kris but we are fighting alot lately.. I dont really know what to do about all that.. I have tried talking to he that doesnt really help
any..just makes her mad that seems to be what I am good at... I really dont know what to do anymore... But it is okay we will work through it like we work through everything,, I know we will.... I
am starting to talk even if it will make her mad.... i am at the point that if I have something that I want to say I am going to say it... I really am getting better... i dont really know what to
rant anything else about so I guess Im gonna go ahead and get off of here...atleast everyone knows i am kinda sorta alive... LOVE YALL....