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    JustKeepSmiling :)  19, Female, California, USA - 2 entries
10
Feb 2011
7:41 PM CST
   

What do you say when you want a friend to feel better? The truth is no one believes a person when they say, "I know how you feel." How can anyone possibly understand.

But I do. I went through pain and suffering. Maybe different circumstances, but the feelings are the same. For everyone on this Earth. So why are there still people out there who don't have compassion or empathy? Or at least some sympathy? We have all hurt in some way or another. Others hide it better than others but pain is pain. It hurts. It weighs down on you like a heavy brick. And each day you keep on smiling and lying to yourself more bricks get added every day until your stuck and can't go on anymore.
That's why it's so important to be open with your friends. To vent! To let some of that poison out even if it means they are going to scream and cry in front of me, curse, throw things. It's better than to hide it and allow it to fester and grow into a monster that you can no longer control.
I did that. I was stupid and 16. No wonder right? But I learned the hard way. Now, I am older and hopefully wiser. I wish people could understand the foolishness of such emotions like, hate and anger. How they don't help you at all and they only make your life harder and more miserable. Like Buddha said, I can't really quote it perfectly but it goes something like this: "Anger is like holding a hot coal in your hands with the intention of throwing it at the other person. But all you are doing is burning your own hand."
You get it? I didn't. Not when I was 16 I didn't! I was sooo full and blinded by my anger and resentment against my mother and the abandonment I felt that I let it take me over. My entire life and youth for that matter. I became this emotional vampire, dark, alone, and depressed. Severely depressed. I blamed her for everything. I hated her. I wanted to see her to feel pain because I was suffering.

Yup. Anger can make people do stupid things. That's why it doesn't make sense to me anymore why people would stick with it.
For example, my parents had this nasty divorce. Did I mention it's been 2 years now...and of course they won't give up to anything meanwhile their blood sucking lawyers already took my college money.
Yes, my life is complicated. But I looked at those two children that are my parents and bless them. I do. I say to myself, "Thank God that I learned from their terrible mistakes. That I am stronger now. That I learned." I go on with my day, seeing my mother and father, who believe me have horrible secrets and issues. They just won't admit it. From my alcoholic father, to my insecure mother who always finds the worst man to be with, (on purpose). It's sad truth be told.
But I am so lucky to have my older sister. Sure, she can steal my clothes and ruin two fabulous pairs of shoes....and mess with my food that one time. Nevertheless, I love her. No matter what, I have her back and she has mine.

In conclusion, no matter how messed up or complicated your life is, you need at least ONE person to be there and say, "I'm here for you. I love you. I think your hurting and angry and are saying this right now that later in life I know you will laugh at with me....and I see your hurt. But just know that you aren't crazy. Your not. Your a good person." Yes, everyone has the potential of being a good person. It's the higher road, and also the harder one. I just wish my friend can muster up the courage to really tell me whats on her mind and heart. Even if she tells someone else, I wouldn't care. I just want to see her better. Happy and well. Wether or not we are still friends when she does. When you care about a person that really doesn't matter. Just as long as they are happy.
1 comment(s) - 11:49 PM - 01/29/2012
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Current Tags: depression, divorce, friends, parents, problems

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    asdfghjklqwendyyuiop  15, Female, Australia - 23 entries
19
Sep 2010
9:48 PM EST
   

I can't live this life anymore, it is to hard and fustrating... All I want to cry and I can't do this anymore,
To many problems in my life, i want it to all end.
My parents doesn't even act like my parents, It seems like htey don't love me, they just act like my parents in front of everyone.

Tears are coming out but i hide them inside.
At school people think i am some happy child having an amazing life, but all of those are lies. I hide my depressed face behind a smile hoping no one will notice. I muck around alot at recess and lunch hoping that no one will see how upset i am. I like school it is the only time i can be happy even thoughwe have to work etc.... But I have all my friends there to make me happy :)

You can never live without friends :)


 

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Current Tags: Confused, Friends, Life

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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
02
Jun 2010
11:34 AM EDT
   

WHY!

okay so I had to call the cops on my parents big deal, i have to watch my dad get drunk everynight so what,  I have to move away from the town i grew up in, Oh well, I wont be with my best friend, I have to deal with it, Things are never going to change, That better not come true. this is what is going on i told my grandparents i rather go to a foster home then to live with my mom. and that i rather die then to see my dad get drunk everynight. No big deal. Right???
1 comment(s) - 07:17 PM - 06/02/2010
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Current Tags: friends, pain, parents, sorrow, wonder

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    samflieskites  21, Female, Florida, USA - First entry!
17
May 2010
1:56 PM EDT
   

"Rich Bitch" -17/05/10

Dear Diary,              <----  scratch that, it's gay. who does that anymore?  


I'm sort of getting sick & tired of people saying I'm a "rich bitch". I keep telling them I am definately not and they don't believe me. Psh, yeah, I go to concerts, I have a bigger house than most people at my school, I go on alot of trips. So what? Besides, kay, I go to concerts every once & awhile when there is one I like, and my dad gets a discount on the tickets anyways. I have a bigger house
than most people at my school because here in Brampton, (well, around this area) there aren't many big houses & people don't have alot of money & live in apartments & those ugly chicken coop homes. And, okay, I go to Florida every year because my grandma owns a condo down there. MY GRANDMA get that in your mind. She is retired OF COURSE SHE HAS MONEY! And I've been on two cruises so what? They were still mostly paid by my grandma. Goodness, people need to mind their own buisiness. Most of my friends get spoiled. They buy hollister, bench, tna, abercrombie. Even though Tna & Bench is crap clothing they still get it. Not saying I want it, because I don't, I just think it's un-necessary for them to be getting all mad at me because I do things and have things that they don't when their parents are going off & buying them all this expensive shit for easter and for other stupid things.

Get over that it doesn't matter what we have. It's the person on the inside that counts.
Gosh, get a life and mind about your own.
1 comment(s) - 09:21 PM - 05/18/2010
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Current Tags: Rich, Abercrombie, Bench, Bitch, Friends, Hollister, Rich Bitch, Spoiled, Tna

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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
05
May 2010
8:02 AM EDT
   

Girl inside the lines

I am the girl
Who doesn't fix the world
as expected this is me
Expected to do certain things
Im expected to run and jump when Told
To sit there and take the beating
When someone else is mad
Im expected to be there
When someone else is sad
I'm expected to be the one
Everyone goes to
Expected to be the one
to save the day
I fight everyone else's problems head on
But tend to forget my own
So here I am
Writing this poem
Judge me if you want
But Im already alone
there's no point in killing me
because I'm already dead
I'm in a bath of blood and no one knows
so here I am once again
Tags: friends, Me, sorrow
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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
04
May 2010
8:16 AM EDT
   

The Truth behind my Lies again

I mean it to it hurts Does she not get it.  I have more problems then she can imagen and she gets mad at me saying I'm Causing her more drama. and that everything is my fult when I ask her to stop hitting me.
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Current Tags: Bad things, Friends, Truth

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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
04
May 2010
7:58 AM EDT
   

Truth behind My lies

What doesn't cheyenne get I'm done being her friend. She thinks its okay to call me names and wants me to be her punching bag Im so f-ing sick of it she keeps asking me to be her friend. I not her punching bag she bit me once it hurt so bad and she broke the skin she wasn't even mad at me. she was mad at her boyfriend.
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Current Tags: bad things, friends, Truth

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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
29
Apr 2010
11:55 AM EDT
   

Why god why

my ex-friend cheyenne crossed the line last night she called me a dum bitch, a fat whore, and an emo fuck I didn't do anything to her and this is what I get. and i felt so much like cutting
3 comment(s) - 07:45 PM - 04/30/2010
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Current Tags: friends, cutting

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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
23
Apr 2010
1:03 PM EDT
   

falling face down

Its not really i mean by "falling face down" as like everything in my life is falling face down my best friend doesn't want me to go to the arts school she is going to next year and I worked  my butt off doing all the work and such to get in and I want my ocarina its a flute type thing it comes on a necklace and I would bring it everywhere and play it. And i would also look like link from the game! Ha!
5 comment(s) - 01:38 PM - 04/29/2010
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Current Tags: friends, Games, ocarina

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    vampiricakatt  15, Female, Minnesota, USA - 88 entries
22
Jan 2010
8:01 AM EDT
   

hanging with my friend breanna hoping that when I get home that I'm able to call my little bro who I miss so much got to go ttyl
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Current Tags: brother, friends

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