I'm a 14 year old girl with the mind of an old woman! I just need a place to express my feelings when nobody wants to listen to me. For the past couple of weeks I have been in deep thought about serious stuff. My future, my self image, and my thought process. I have come to realize that, like everyone else, I am afraid of my future. I faulter at the face of the unknown. Questions rack my brain, and leak inside every gap of thought inside of my head. Will I have my own family. Will I be loved? What will I look like? Who all will still be in my life? If only I knew the ending result to my destiny... Well not really the ending result which would obviously be death but more like... Where my life is headed. I also feel very misunderstood. Again, I am a 14 year old GIRL! I should be worried about the latest styles and boys and friends and stuff. But no, I'm worried about my future. I don't care about making friends, I don't have many anyway. I think it's because most people my age are so immature. Most everyone at the school I attend are very loud and obnoxious. I'm quiet. I'm very shy, and I have a very low self esteem. Yes, I have had major crushes on boys, but they all end up the same way. I'm too shy to talk to them. And I'm too self counscious! I always think that I will never be liked by any boy because I'm just an unlikable freak. Desperate to find answers, one day I asked someone if I was ugly. They said no, but I don't really get called ugly a lot. In fact, many people have always called me pretty. I remember people would stop my mom to express how beautiful her children are. But I think it's all lies. Nobody wants to look like a jerk telling the truth about an ugly persons looks. Heck, they would even lie to a baby. My mom told me that there was this guy friend of hers that saw me when I was a baby and he said he was going to wait for me to grow older and he would marry me. I cried when my mom told me this, but I never have, and still don't believe it's true. Another thing. People think I'm stupid! I'm not stupid. I may not be confident about the way I look, but I am VERY confident in my smarts, and I know that I am VERY smart. I may have average academic grades but I have a lot of COMMON SENSE. Sure I'm ignorant when it comes to being popular or talking out of turn and whatever else most people my age do, but I DO know how to confuse people older than me. I do know how to make older people think I'm something special. Because I'm a deep person. Well... Writing all of this has really helped lighten my mood and I might do it again sometime... :)
I really love this song. Give it a listen and I'm sure you guys would like it too! Live like we're dying - Kris Allen Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up We're hiding behind skin that's too tough How come we don't say I love you enough Till it's to late, it's not too late Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come And we could make a feast from these crumbs And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun So if your life flashed before you, What would you wish you would've done Yeah, we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we've been given If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking If every second counts on a clock that's ticking Gotta live like we're dying We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we're dying And if your plane fell out of the skies Who would you call with your last goodbye Should be so careful who we live out our lives So when we long for absolution, There'll no one on the line, yeah Yeah, we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we've been given If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking If every second counts on a clock that's ticking Gotta live like we're dying We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we're dying Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying.. We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we're dying You never know a good thing till it's gone You never see a crash till it's head on Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong You never know a good thing till it's gone Yeah, we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we've been given If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking If every second counts on a clock that's ticking Gotta live like we're dying We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we're dying Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying.. We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we're dying. Lyrics provided by: http://www.elyricsworld.com SOUL