The Trials and Tribulations of... Life.

 
    
02
Jul 2012
3:23 AM CDT
   

Taking Control

The second date that Shawn and I had went pretty much as it did the first time, unfortunately, for a relationship sense in terms.� However the difference this time was that I went away with a clearer understanding of not only who he is and what I am capable of accepting on a personal level but that we truly can only be friends at this time in his life.

He's very much stuck in place with his personal life, not something worth finding fault in, but he's not ready to move on, that much is very clear and to continue pursuing something with him would only prove to be something that he would be pushed into, and that is not my style.

He was married for 16 years.� They have been apart for only 2.� He has a lot of marriage ghosts that either he doesn't know how to get past, or he is just not willing to move forward.� He also has a young son who seems to understand the divorce issue, but is very adament that neither of his parents can date or even talk to someone of the opposite sex.� That is another issue that Shawn needs to not only work through for himself, but he needs to help his son too.

At this time I have to stick to my guns and insist that any further contact be strictly in a friendship manner.� He is a great person, despite the issue's that we dealt with while I was there, I really enjoy our time together.�

He called me this afternoon while I was out and about stating that he wanted to talk about my decision.� By the time that I was able to actually call him back, he was unable to talk as his son was with him.� So tomorrow he is suppose to be calling me, what he has to say is completely unknown, but I will listen to what he has to say and go from there.
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Current Tags: Date, Friendship, Moving On, Relationship

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25
Jun 2012
1:52 AM CDT
   

Holy Shit Batman!

I don't know why I seem to be in this 'research' frame of mind, but for the hell of it I did a random search of member journals, put in the name of Colin as the key word and I'll be go to hell if I didn't find his wife on here!� Holy Shit!
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25
Jun 2012
1:44 AM CDT
   

Our Virtual Assistant

*Repost*� This lady has been working with us since just before June and she has been totally awesome.... thought I would repost to give her the due Kudo's she deserves!

Although I do not personally endorse businesses nor do I advertise on other's behalf, I have to say that I am making an exception for one lady.

After posting an ad on Craigslist for help with a company that I work with, we were in need of someone to help us in an administrative sense.� Data Entry, Incoming Phones, etc...� Well, we were worried about not having the finances to hire someone to come into the office, thinking that was our only solution.... We were wrong!

After receiving an email in reference to the ad, she introduced herself as a Virtual Assistant and quite capable of handling the tasks needed, but from her home.� Although we needed someone to also help us with the phones, she provided an alternate solution versus having to have someone actually in the office.

So after much discussion and comparison in the amount of money we would actually be saving if this situation worked out, we gave her a chance.... It has now been a total of 2 weeks and things couldn't be going any smoother!

For the data entry part, well, we had hired someone on a temporary basis before putting the ad with the expectation that she would work for us right up to her ending date, that didn't happen, she just stopped coming in and our stuff was backing up big time despite our own attempts to keep it up to date... yeah, that didn't happen.� So when our VA started, despite that we had a lot of backed up work to get caught up on, she didn't charge us anything more, in fact she agreed to work a full weekend so that we could start out fresh that coming Monday.

We sent her a packet of pdf's with client information that needed to be entered into our database, mind you this was what she referred to as 'doc to data', there were over 500 individual pdf forms with client information...� We expected her to take all weekend, not!� By 3:00 pm on Saturday, after working on them a total of approximately 4.5 hours, she was done.� After sending her the residuals of what had come in on our side, we sent to her email in the same pdf format, approximately 75 additional, within 35 minutes she was done!

So I am personally endorsing this lady, awesome awesome awesome!� Not only does she specialize in Office Support and administration for bands and bars (marketing, websites, etc...), but she has over 20 years experience with the servicing side of the Mortgage Industry (our reason for hiring her).

If you would like more info, you can send her an email at virtualhelp4u@live.com, let her know that I sent you.� By the way, I do have permission to disclose her email address.� She does have a business website but would prefer email contact to start with.

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Current Tags: Data Entry, Mortgage, Real Estate, Virtual Assistant

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25
Jun 2012
1:39 AM
   

Date #2 w/Shawn

After more than agreeing to a 2nd date with Shawn, we will be seeing each other tomorrow evening, however our date isn't until Tuesday. It just so happens that I have a meeting in Phoenix tomorrow at 3pm and it made sense to stay with him the evening instead of driving the 2 hours back only to turn around and drive 2 hours back... Our plans for tomorrow evening include absolutely nothing with the exception of jumping in the pool and whoever gets to the house first gets to make dinner. So pretty much just an evening of relaxing and spending more time getting to know each other.... Oh and on a "well what do you know about that?" note, Colin, the AZ Drummer, it turns out that his house is less than a mile from Shawns! Talk about a small world. Just for the hell of it yesterday, I google mapped both locations, talk about the surprise I had....
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19
Jun 2012
2:25 AM CDT
   

The conversation

So despite that Shawn and I seemed to hit it off, both on the phone and then in person, we seemed to be heading in the opposite direction.

We were so comfortable with each other that it felt as though we were best friends for many many years, to the point that we somehow managed to keep from crossing a line, one that neither of us put down, but obviously was there.

So for the last week, contact between us has been sporadic.� So I finally asked him the other day, what's going on?� To my surprise, he was wondering the same thing.� So after deciding that perhaps we are just better off as friends, he totally turned the tables on me, something that no one, no man in my life has ever done.� He is pleading his case on why we should give it another shot, a second date.

In the movie, Jerry Maguire, that scene where he is told to 'Shut Up', 'You had me at Hello'... now I get the exact depth of that saying.� I have never been so speechless in my life, I have never been so flattered.
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Current Tags: Date, Friend, Second, Shawn

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12
Jun 2012
7:23 PM CDT
   

Date with Shawn....

So our date has come and gone, it was an awesome time, great evening, great company, what more can I ask for?

After meeting up at BullShooters in Phoenix and playing a few rounds of pool, we headed over to his house for a barbecue and some swimming.�

Although this situation would never have taken place prior, I found myself feeling very comfortable with him, it is actually a very nice change of pace for me.

So for now, he is going to call me when he gets home from work.� I hope that we make another set of plans to see each other real soon, I really thoroughly enjoyed myself and I think he did too.
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Current Tags: Club, Date, Friend, Laughter, Shawn

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09
Jun 2012
8:24 PM CDT
   

In a few hours.... wow!

So am I getting nervous that the date between Shawn and myself is less than a day away... surprisingly, no!

I think that since we took the opportunity to talk as much as possible, putting everything on the table that was asked, I think that makes the pending meeting not such a nervous or stressful thing.

Don't get me wrong, there are going to be nerves in play just on the idea that we have never met before, but I believe it is going to go real well.

As for the meeting place, it is at a very well known and semi-busy place, even for a Sunday.

As for Colin.... you know I haven't heard from him since sending that email in which I believed it was best for us to go our seperate ways.� I hope that he is okay, I really do, but at this time, I couldn't really tell you.
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Current Tags: Club, Date, Friend, Laughter, Meet, New, Shawn

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07
Jun 2012
11:15 PM
   

Jumping the gun?

Okay, I have spent the last few days talking to Shawn, whether by text message or on the phone, it makes no difference, this man is definitely the person that I have been searching for pretty much most of my life, if not all of it! It is uncanny how our thoughts are the same, I could be thinking of something to say and if he isn't saying it to me on the phone immediately thereafter, I receive it in a text. And apparently, it has been the same situation on his end, It may not even be that we were meant to be together, it could be that we are both so similar in our own lives that instead of hitting it off in a relationship sense, we may end up just being the best of friends, who knows? But I can say this, I am going to allow him into my life if that is the direction we are meant to be heading towards. I am going to allow myself the opportunity to trust that he isn't like the other men that I have dated and/or married in my past. I am going to allow myself the right to be happy, utterly and beyond my imagination. I am going to allow myself to really have the time of my life.
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06
Jun 2012
9:04 PM CDT
   

A definite referral for a Virtual Assistant

Although I do not personally endorse businesses nor do I advertise on other's behalf, I have to say that I am making an exception for one lady.

After posting an ad on Craigslist for help with a company that I work with, we were in need of someone to help us in an administrative sense.� Data Entry, Incoming Phones, etc...� Well, we were worried about not having the finances to hire someone to come into the office, thinking that was our only solution.... We were wrong!

After receiving an email in reference to the ad, she introduced herself as a Virtual Assistant and quite capable of handling the tasks needed, but from her home.� Although we needed someone to also help us with the phones, she provided an alternate solution versus having to have someone actually in the office.

So after much discussion and comparison in the amount of money we would actually be saving if this situation worked out, we gave her a chance.... It has now been a total of 2 weeks and things couldn't be going any smoother!

For the data entry part, well, we had hired someone on a temporary basis before putting the ad with the expectation that she would work for us right up to her ending date, that didn't happen, she just stopped coming in and our stuff was backing up big time despite our own attempts to keep it up to date... yeah, that didn't happen.� So when our VA started, despite that we had a lot of backed up work to get caught up on, she didn't charge us anything more, in fact she agreed to work a full weekend so that we could start out fresh that coming Monday.

We sent her a packet of pdf's with client information that needed to be entered into our database, mind you this was what she referred to as 'doc to data', there were over 500 individual pdf forms with client information...� We expected her to take all weekend, not!� By 3:00 pm on Saturday, after working on them a total of approximately 4.5 hours, she was done.� After sending her the residuals of what had come in on our side, we sent to her email in the same pdf format, approximately 75 additional, within 35 minutes she was done!

So I am personally endorsing this lady, awesome awesome awesome!� Not only does she specialize in Office Support and administration for bands and bars (marketing, websites, etc...), but she has over 20 years experience with the servicing side of the Mortgage Industry (our reason for hiring her).

If you would like more info, you can send her an email at virtualhelp4u@live.com, let her know that I sent you.� By the way, I do have permission to disclose her email address.� She does have a business website but would prefer email contact to start with.
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Current Tags: Awesome, Bands, Bars, Clerical, Data Entry, Entertainment, Mortgage, Office, Virtual Assistant

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05
Jun 2012
6:20 PM CDT
   

To smile a smile... its great!

Since meeting Shawn on the dating site, my days seem as though there is more color in everything I view, I find that I can laugh at myself, laugh to myself and just smile for no reason... most of the time it is from something that he said during any one of our conversations.

Although we had initially agreed to meet in a couple of weeks, we both can't wait that long.� If he's not considering a chance to come out here to meet me, I am considering a chance to go down there to meet him, it's a crazy, whirlwind, lack of planning notion and one that we have both came very close to doing at one time or another.

So we swapped ideas, made some changes that we both felt comfortable with and will be seeing each other on Sunday.

Is it possible to find someone so perfect for me and not even know him yet?

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Current Tags: Dating, Friend, Fun, Happy, Laughter, On-line, Shawn

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03
Jun 2012
8:01 PM
   

All to comfortable

Okay, I understand that you can't really get to know someone based on a profile, text messages or even a phone call, but damn! I may have met the person of my dreams just by chance, literally. Although we met through the dating site, we didn't hit on each others profile as an interested party, in fact I just made a comment on a drawing that he did, nothing more. He responded with a Thank You and that was it, about a week went by and he kept popping up in my recommendations, so I made mention of it and we have been talking since. I actually spoke with him for over an hour on the phone today, it was really nice. The comfort in which I feel with him is awesome, hell, I have never been so open to anyone, not even my ex-husband about half of the stuff that we discussed both via text messages and on the phone just in the last few days. It's a great feeling, nothing compares at this time.
4 comment(s) - 07:11 PM - 06/04/2012
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02
Jun 2012
7:35 PM
   

A nice change of pace...

So I joined this dating site a few weeks back, although I was getting a lot of hits that were clearly opposite of what I was seeking, for the last week I have been communicating back and forth with two men and having a pretty good time in doing so... However today I actually agreed and gave one of them my phone number so that we could text back and forth, I have to say, he is quite funny, down to earth and knows what it's like to have a conversation. Perhaps we'll graduate to actually talking to each other on the phone in a day or so. Oh, his name is Shawn.
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01
Jun 2012
7:29 PM
   

Splish Splash

Wow, it has been a pretty hectic day, work wise. As for Colin, well unfortunately I didn't take to the blame too well, perhaps it's due to the fact that my prior relationship I found myself in the same situation, it ends up feeling like my caring for them is more of a burden that what it is to me, unconditional and from the heart. But, that is how life goes I guess. Either you settle for what you think you have or you go searching for what you know you deserve. Basically I told Colin that it is probably in 'both' of our best interest if he just not call me. I can't help put realize that with all my concern, he hasn't even so much as said I am sorry for making you worry like you did...
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01
Jun 2012
3:12 AM PDT
   

By it's ability to grow everyday, regardless of the good times or bad.
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01
Jun 2012
3:10 AM PDT
   

Taking Heed

After being informed by Colin that he was robbed at gun point in which they took many personal items, including his wallet, the communication between us ended abruptly, literally.

Typically I would at least receive a response to a text message, but for 3 days, nothing, not a single word.� So now I am truly scared that something happened, the thoughts of them, the robbers getting his address off his ID and then heading to his house to rob him of more stuff just kept playing in my head over and over again.

So today I had the police do a welfare check on him and his daughters, just for my own peace of mind.� They did, unfortunately in the process his daughter was frightened by the knocking on the door.� But she was safe and he was at work.

Instead of receiving a sorry that I put you through all the fear, sorry for not calling or texting you back, all I received was blame and the famous, I need space.

Basically I got the impression that because it has been 7 years since we last saw each other that I had no right to care for him so much, that my concern was out of place.

Well, if I had to do it again, I probably would if the same scenario were being played out and that's a problem for me.� I could never disregard his safety, I could never disregard my feelings for him, I could never learn to put a condition on just how much I care for someone, him.

So it appears that this relationship ended before it had a chance to begin.� But I do wish him the best.
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Current Tags: Colin, Concern, Robbery

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  • Username: 4d9rfan4life
  • Gender / Age: Female, 53
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    About Me: After finding the courage to leave a relationship that included domestic violence, I am learning to start my life over.

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