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Since meeting Shawn on the dating site, my days seem as though there is more color in everything I view, I find that I can laugh at myself, laugh to myself and just smile for no reason... most of the time it is from something that he said during any one of our conversations.

Although we had initially agreed to meet in a couple of weeks, we both can't wait that long.� If he's not considering a chance to come out here to meet me, I am considering a chance to go down there to meet him, it's a crazy, whirlwind, lack of planning notion and one that we have both came very close to doing at one time or another.

So we swapped ideas, made some changes that we both felt comfortable with and will be seeing each other on Sunday.

Is it possible to find someone so perfect for me and not even know him yet?

special����������������������������������� 1/20/09

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������� By :Nijah A Thomas

you are so special to me

you bring a smile to me

you give a special hug

you share a special smile

you got a special happiness

that makes me happy too.

Many people feel "differently" about relationships.� I can remember thinking and wanting so badly to be engaged.� It was all that I cared about...just having that ring to prove to everyone that I was more mature and that we were the perfect couple.� My family and friends hassled him..."when's the big day?" they would ask.� Or, I would get SO mad over the dumbest things and blame it on not having the ring.� He would ask, "what�do want�for your birthday?" and my response would�be something of a rude remark with regards to an engagement ring.� It was all about the stupid ring that I thought was so important.� I guess I just wanted to have the ring to have proof of his commitment.� It's easy say, Im committed to you, but harder to give proof of words.�

He is the most amazing person and the most dedicated person in my life and I was letting a "social symbol" get in the way of our relationship.� There is more to the story including the death of his parents within the same year and the fact that we have been together for nearly 7 years.� I was by his side through thick and thin and NEVER questioned leaving or letting a ring get in the way.� I have to say that I got the ring.� He proposed and it was the most beautiful thing, but it has taken me the experience of the entire 7 years to realize that my relationship with my fiance has never been better.� Is it the ring?� Could be, but realizing that I needed to accept myself (without a ring, without him) was the most life changing thought I've ever had.� Now that I am comfortable with myself, engaged or not...ring or not...our relationship has done a complete 180.�

We have always had a good relationship, but looking back now it could have been so much better.� Im thankful that we stuck together and got through some of the hardest times of both of our lives and also we got through some of those petty things that really dont matter at all.� You have to know who you are, before you can start to know who someone else is.� That is where I am at today.� I know me, I understand me, I love me...now that I have gotten "me" taken care of I gladly wear my ring as a symbol of our love and I can focus on our relationship.� Take the time to love him...look at him...really look into his eyes and he him for who he is, not for who you want him to be (or in my case, what you wanted from him).� Life is so much better when who people are in love.�