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my name is kokokaka...it is weird name but what can i do....my parent choosed....but luckly im clever and smart.....da....im not trying to show of...but im telling the truth...i get 5A's for my upsr...that's all about me...i guess so...babai...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plansto give youa hope and a future."

God, I sure hope so. I can't live like this anymore. Right now I'm not sure I want to live at all, but I think you have a purpose for my life Lord. Please reveal you plans to me God, and give me the strength I will need to follow your plans. God, I know that you don't want your children to suffer and right now Lord, I am. The pain seems almost unbearable. God I pray for everyone who is facing the same situations as me Lord. I lift them up to you, and God I pray that you make their pain fleeting. God, I pray that you don't let any other person get to the place that I havebeen lately. God, help me out of this. Give me the strength and courage to face this. I know you want to here for a reason, so God please reveal the purpose you have set for my life. Amen

Sumter living is not so great what do people get out of living in a hell hole where people are allways up your ass about some really unimportant crap. spreading really damming rumours that are way to mean to be real.. but sometimes you never know ... cause this is a jacked up world.. with jacked up people who have jacked up atttitudes.

If i was originally from this place I would probably be a lot worse off... Love you sumter people but some of this is just unnatural. I miss big city bright light.. that is kinda weird because i grew on an island that is 37sqaure miles, which is like half of Sumter County... but damn.... please get me out of here beforeI become one of them... start talking crazy shit that I don't know about,( judging others based on my ignorance...The biggest problem around here)

Hey people don't open your mouth to say stuff that you can't even understand like other peoples religion... judging others because they have a different faith than you is very ignorant.. it is racism it is against my freedom of expression and religion for some douchebage to tell me my religion is wrong.. no bitch, your wrong,afew months ago you drank and smoked like it was going out of style ... now you are a child of god and we are all going to hell because we do not wish to become a proffesional hippocrite ... guess i'm going to hell then............. see ya there fuckers.. i'll be the one holding the book of names helping the devil decide if you are worthy of hell's wrath.

Judgementwill not be passed on me based onyour perceptions of me, it's what i have done and shown on my own recognance. so pleasekeep talking shit behind my back... you are building me up morethan tearing me down... thanks for the encouragement ... negativity gives me the strength to be me and carry on doingwhat makes you crazy..

oh my god i'm so excited she's getting married to a deadbeat baby daddy.. wow isn't it great to know that your man is a piece of crap, who is over $1500 behind on child support.. does it make you happy to know that your wearing my baby girls child support on your finger? thats so sweet.. stupid bitch.

Your man is the bottom of the crop

退一步海阔天空

敦敦最近开始挑衣服穿, 大冷的天偏要脱下毛衣穿线衣, 因为他喜欢这件衣服. 老娘理解孩子到了爱玩 ‘酷’ 的年龄, 但潇洒冻人不可取, 坚决不允许春寒天盲目减衣服, 因为感冒后很麻烦, 可是敦敦不停地抱怨我不理解他, 挖空心思, 据理力争. 电梯里激烈的争吵之中, 老娘望着镜子里的自己和孩子, 眉头一皱, 记起小时候, 一件好看的衣服给十岁的自己曾经带来的是奇特的和不可思议的感觉. ‘在乎外表’ 是青春期前综合症的死穴, 既然孩子在死胡同里出不来, 由他撞一下南墙也未必是件坏事, 老娘撂下一句: 你愿意穿就穿吧. 敦敦大喜, 似乎不敢相信自己的耳朵.

不出老娘之所料, 这帅哥今天回家后精神不振, 眼睛累, 显然是着凉了. 这时候老娘让他换上毛衣. 他乖乖就范. 俗话说 ‘吃一堑长一智’, 可敦 ‘子’ 似乎是 ‘吃几堑都不长智’. 逼得老娘常常心里起急.

一般来说当更年期遭遇青春期. 遇上问题, 双方都不让步, 僵持不下的时候彼此就会很失望. 如果不是原则问题, 老娘应该学会后退一步, 撒手让儿子犯错, 虽然有点冒险, 但也许随意的生活比正确的生活要好, 精神上的折磨远远超过肉体上的. 如果懂得退中有进, 儿子就面对海阔, 老娘也拥有天空了.

(敦敦十岁知择衫, 寒日拾棉弃毛, 母晓其子, 求美之庚也, 美其表而寒其体乃不智之举. 温病恼人, 敦母不允春寒减衫. 敦怨母不晓其心, 不弃争辩. 敦母窥得镜中敦敦恰似儿时之己, 念及新衣之美妙不可言喻, 爱美之心, 幼皆有之. 迷途不知返以首击墙, 莫之能御也. 以力服子, 非心服也. 母曰: ‘吾儿可随欲而为’. 敦大喜, 不信其耳.

如所料, 敦归家身疲眼乏, 寒气入体也. 敦母嘱其换毛衫, 敦顺之. 古云‘吃一堑长一智’, 吾儿 ‘吃几堑未得长智’, 母不安也.

更年母遇青春儿, 言出不让而痛, 母应有不为, 而后可以有为. 心之痛甚于体, 智者之虑, 必杂于利害. 明先退后进之理, 儿临海阔, 母得天空. )

men in my life,what a disaster my downfall for being the fixer of losers.

losers who love me and saidthey would be there for me, yeahall they wanted wasa sweet piece of ass, not to be with someone who would give and gave al that she had..

gave up her life, her emotions and all this was hers.. no more to gain but the end was inevitable... loser sweet loser you wereneverthe best... now showering with my lover is hard to do because sadly it reminds me ofyou.. reminds me of lies that churn in my mind.. all of lifes wonderful things ruined by your lust.

so now what do we do? we sit and wait.. we sit and stare into the empty space.. hoping, wishing.. and praying for the best.. hoping that what I lost will be once again mine.. the freedom to be passionate, give my love without constraint... love with no boundaries I hope i find it soon.. it's my life and I have no love for you.

Today I listened to some metallica and Korn, damn i forgot how much I like those groups.. I am angry i'm not exactly sure why... I guess i kinda do.. but then again.

I want control of my life and i feel as though i have none.. nothing everything I have ever worked for and earned has been taken in an instance by an asshole who never gave a fuck about me.. lost everything.. my youth.. my future and the material things too.

Trying to regaing my composure is not the easiest thing to do ... i'm fallin away from me and i have no idea what to do..

My finest moment? Hmmm... The first and most immediate thing that comes to mind was giving birth! An experience I would not only do again, but sometimes I even crave to have another child. The whole pregnancy and childbirth experience is the greatest most single events that I have ever been through. It's a lot of hard work, and there is even a prize at the end of the experience! A wailing 7 pound slippery wrinkled infant!

A challenge that I have overcome?? Hmmm.... There are two that I can think of. One is a physical challenge, or more physical in nature. I was able to drive a fully loaded moving truck pulling my car behind it from Minnesota to Indiana driving through Chicago during rush hour without incident. After doing that, I knew I could accomplish anything! The other which is more emotional in nature, was/is (it's a work in progress) dealing with family drama and learning how to work through it all. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do emotionally, outside of grieving for my grandmother.

I've been a little lapsed in writing in this. My goal has been to make an entry every other day or two Worked well so far, don't you think!?!?

I've sent out a few more resume's though not too optimistic about hearing anything from them. Maybe I need to just y attitude and try sending out good vibes to the companies! Its just so frustrating! I didn't want to be at work today at all & my boss wasn't even there. Ok-I need an attutude adjustment-think good vibes!

I started following a Weight Watchers plan this week as well. I really need to do something aobut my weight, I'd like to be around to see my kids graduate! I'm doing ok so far, I just need to get past the stress and emotional eating. Wish it were as easy as it sounds.

I'm hoping writing will help me figure out things in my life.

The days go by and I wonder if I will ever find the one that was meant for me. I know that there is someone out there for me but why is it taking me forever to find him? I feel that one day I will wake up to 40 candles on my birthday cake and surrounded by cats and overweight wondering where my life went. the Days go by and sometimes freak me out.