So today my baby daddy's new baby momma asked to be added as amy friend on myspace... yeah I know, what the fuck?... after much deliberation I accepted to see what the hell she wants .... besides to see what I am blogging about her and her man not paying me my child support and reminding them that they are $1500 +++ behind as it is.
i had to find a new blog spot to set myself free...
that bitch has never spoken to me now she wants to be my friend, bitch please.. that bitch is gona go fuck somebody else like he has done with all the rest. step to me and you will get dealt with...
Stupid bitch... i don't like you....
Oh .. that felt good .. Thanks for listening ..
Silly rabbit tricks are for kids!
来自台湾的高山茶
因为两岸不通邮, W先生'成公'之后我只能托朋友带点小礼物给他的小孙子, W先生又劳朋友大驾大老远带来两盒高山茶, 这个周末, 我迫不及待地催老公献艺茶道, 认真地品尝这远道而来的心意. 老公熟练地冲洗茶具, 不一会用正宗紫砂壶冲出的高山茶呈了上来, 茶水是透明的橙黄色，随着茶杯上的蒸汽飘出一股淡淡的清香. 中国人对茶的感情就在这一酙, 一泡, 一嗅和一饮这样简单的动作中了. 伦敦读书时生活清苦，茶前饭后，我们这伙中国人喜欢闲聊，在台湾为官的W先生在中国历史方面有深厚的功底，我们一路聊到秦始皇都很顺畅, 聊到中国近代史, 两岸小时候的洗脑教育的弊端就暴露出来了, 因为这个经验, 后来我跟其他台湾朋友聊天都尽量技巧绕过，免得陷入没必要的误解和偏激的争论. 几年后在新加坡开亚洲临床试验大会时, 遇到一个台湾代表团, 会后我主动跟他们聊天, 谈到两岸关系, 我说，历史就是历史, 两岸想法不同是正常的, 如果我也生长在台湾, 我跟你们的想法是一样的. 没想到，我这一席话让这帮台湾同胞很感动, 他们说以往见到的大陆官员都不会这样讲。 在伦敦留学的日子里，我有机会接触来自世界各地的华人，不论是来自台湾, 香港和大陆的中国人, 还是来自新加坡, 马来西亚的华人, 在文化上都是相通的, 但各地的历史经济状况又使这些华人对自己根的认同存在很大的差异, 记得92年我刚到伦敦医院, 没有熟人, 自己觉得很没劲. 第一天在医学院的餐厅吃饭, 突然看到一个华人面孔, 我就感到很亲切, 主动走过去问他, "请问, 您是中国人吗 " 没想到他给我了一个不可思议的回答, "不! 我是香港人." 他似乎是在刻意地强调, 他不是中国人. 现在想起来, 92 年的中国在改革开放的初期，还很穷, 香港还没有回归, 一个香港中产阶级家庭出身的年轻医生不认同自己是中国人, 是再正常不过的了。大陆和香港在经济上的差异加上自小的港英式教育决定了这位香港同胞本能地认为香港不是中国。但当时对我来说是一个不小的 shock，甚至觉得有点好笑。 刚到伦敦时, 一个马来西亚的华人小伙子, 狂追我的邻居, 一个来自台湾的女孩. 台湾女孩白皙清秀，父亲是个成功的生意人, 病逝前给她留下了一大笔钱, 足够她用两三年的. 马来西亚小伙, 一张脸被太阳晒成粗狂的古铜色, 性格耿直, 显然是来自劳动人民家庭的. 小伙经常教育这位台湾娇女, 要懂'经济学'. 不该花的不要乱花，当他意识到他自己没有足够的钱让台湾女孩过的舒心，他知难而退了。不是台湾女孩不可爱，也不是大马男孩没男子气，童年教育模式和家庭经济上的反差决定了价值观上不可避免的冲突。这也是来自两岸三地华人的微妙区别。 有文革经历的大陆人拥有历史的沉重感，相比之下其它地方的华人在政治上就显得天真许多。这些年经历过亚洲的金融危机和SAS重创，香港人变得成熟起来了，知道金钱和生命都会在瞬间消失。饱经政治动荡的台湾人，目睹大陆的经济崛起，很自然地萌发民族认同感，这些年宝岛的年轻人除了选择到欧美澳洲闯世界，来大陆创业也成了一条路。 华字，上面有个 '化' 子，下面是个"十"字，随着华人之间经济的差异的熔 '化'，全球的华人都会认同自己是'十'足的中国人。
I think I must be the dumbest person of earth! Seriously! I gave in. I went back home and let him back in. And I shouldn't have done it so easily but I did. It's hard to let someone you love go and even harder to watch them go down the wrong path. I can't watch him do this and not help him. It's a sad thing really!
Even more sad is the fact that he has the checkbook. I am SO taking them from his truck and his safe when he doesn't know it. I can't have him overdrawing our account all the time because he's not responsible enough or doesn't care enough to check the balance! So now this is the second or third time he has overdrawn our account! How can he do this? Go out and spend it on beer and drugs! It makes me so damn angry! I am stopping direct deposit to that account and putting it into WaMu! Damn it! UUUGGHH! Or maybe I'll open myself up a second account! That is exactly what i'll do! right now! online! later, got stuff to do!
I need someone who will just let me sit with them and cry, and the only thing they'll do is listen. Some of you on here are helping more than you know, but it's not the same as having someone next to you hugging and rocking you while you cry. I need this. I need Mrs. Melinda. I know she would let me just sit and cry. Actually, she would probably cry with me. But, she doesn't know my story. I don't want to burden her with it.
I guess everything is changing, and I dunno what I think about any of this. I feel betrayed by friends, and a lot of things are frustrated me. I guess becoming close with new people, cause the old ones to start drifting.. I can't really write much on here, I feel like I can't even trust a personal website, where you're suppose to write everything. I feel like not many people can be trusted anymore, and let alone something like this. It is so annoying how shitty and low people will go, just for someone else. I guess this isn't even entirely about me, well actually very little of it is. I see one of my new really close friends, constantly being betrayed by a lot of people, and I relized how shitty people are now of days. How they will do anything, just to make them feel superior, when really it makes you shittier then the person before you. So many people are like this now, so many people suck at being a good friends, and good friends seem really impossible to find. I am so glad, that I now keep my guard up a lot more then I use to. I don't know what I would do, if every day passed and I had to worry about someone betraying me. It doesn't seem to matter how close you are anymore, because everyone seems to just love to do it, and its happened more then it should have to me in the past.
Well things with Ryley and I have improved again. I think...Im not so worried, because I have a feeling that most of the issues came from stress from school. So not only did our small issues seem huge because of the stress I was already feeling...but they got blown WAY more out of proportion. Anyways...Im glad to be with him. He is really sensitive to my needs and feelings. Its great to have a guy who will try to make me happy any way he can. If I am unhappy he try's to help any way, and if its because of him he tries to fix the problems. Its not like 100% but no relatioship is, and I am greatful to have such a good man in my life. Anyways....That is about all I have to say. Have a wonderful evening!!
Wow, my life seems to be as bad as a soap opera these days. I don't know what to do about it anymore. Everything is so turned upside down these days and messed up. I feel like a single mother, which is SO NOT easy to do! I admire my mom more and more.
I wish I had some sort of futuristic camera that I could watch and see what would happen with my life depending on which choice I made. I've never been in this position and it is so incredibly hard. What do I do? It would be even better if God would just whisper the answer in my ear and I would know everything would be fine! I would know the right way to go.
My brain tells me to go. That things won't change in the long run. That it'll get better temperarily and then it will all go back to the same stuff. Which, I believe. My brain is right. It is!
But my heart can't let it go. It just can't. It breaks everytime I think about stepping out the door. But it's so wrong! My heart is wrong! And I find that to be harder than anything. Knowing what I should do but not having the courage to do it. What do you do in a situation like this? Where would I go? With my mom? I can't stand living in that house. But my name is at my place. What about all the stuff we have? What happens to me? I'm out alone, with nothing, and Alyssa? That doesn't seem right. Not even a car to get back and forth to work! LOVELY!
I really need some advice. This is such a vague journal entry. But maybe someone can give me some insite on what I have down.
Ooohhh this is so hard!
Took tre tre and garcus to the circus. Tre tre acted up, so never again. marcus loved it. I missed part of the tiger show takin tre tre to the bathroom.
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tiahe 33, Female, Canada - 33 entries
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