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    sandeep  43, Female, United Kingdom - 2 comments
24
Jan 2010
10:30 PM GMT
   

I didn't realise I could actually dislike someone as much I dislike someone right now. I choose the word dislike because hate is a strong word, and when I'm angry and I actually hate this person very much. Why can life never be simple for me?

2 comment(s) - 06:26 PM - 02/14/2010
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    linnea14star  28, Female, Washington, USA - 2 comments
06
Apr 2012
1:53 PM CDT
   

16 minutes and 59 seconds

I did it! I got 16min and 59sec on my mile run. Last time it took me 20 minutes. I did the BMI test and it made me pissed off and this is why:
Information Entered

Age: 16 years 6 months

Sex:
Girl
Height: 5 feet 7–1/2 inch(es)
Date of Measurement: April 06, 2012 Weight: 187 pounds
Results

Based on the height and weight entered, the BMI is 28.9 , placing the BMI-for-age at the 94th percentile for girls aged 16 years 6 months. This teen is overweight
�Can you see what I am saying? The stupid test is saying I am over weight.Mom said I wasn't! That shows you that you can never trust your relatives about your weight.
1 comment(s) - 12:06 PM - 04/07/2012
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Current Tags: I AM PISSSSSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    MusicalDelight  38, Female, New Hampshire, USA - 2 comments
31
Jan 2010
7:33 AM EST
   

1st Entry

Change. It's an inevitable thing. We have to change in order to grow and learn from mistakes. If not we'd all be making the same mistakes over and over again...like driving around a traffic circle and never making a turn to get out of it. Every once in a while, though, people change for the worst. Or that's how one can view it. Sometimes it's a gradual thing, sometimes sudden. Either way, it's usually left you with a bad taste in your mouth.


It's a bit sad, really, when you once believed in a person and now no longer do. When helping them & supporting them was something you did because you wanted to. You cared to. Now it's something you hardly think about. No energy to help someone who would rather associate with people "higher" up with more "connections." Here you thought they actually cared about you but now it's clear that was false. They cared about the help you were providing...and now that they can get it elsewhere you are no longer needed. You see what type of person they have become... Although, come to think of it. Maybe it's not just them who has changed maybe it's yourself. Maybe you've changed to see who they are, having been a bit jaded before... Wow. How writing thoughts down makes you think. Anyway. It's just a rude awakening when all of the hard work you ever put in (at your own will because you wanted to) seems to have been a waste of time...


I probably would have gone down the same path. Knowing them, helping them perhaps just not as much. At the end of the day, I can rest my head on my pillow and fall fast asleep into dreams of whatever is in my head & heart. I wasn't out to seek anything from anybody, I was (and still am true to myself & other people). I don't expect anything from anybody. I don't use people for my own selfish purposes. It's not who I am. I'm the helper type that tends to get stomped on by those who use others, time and time again. It's something I can't turn off or learn from. I can't change that. But I never forget the behaviors of other people.

-So reading this back I realize it started out as one thing and ended up another. Still on the same topic but a bit off from one another. But I'm going to keep it this way. Hopefully it's coherent enough to follow along.

2 comment(s) - 05:38 PM - 02/04/2010
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    GirlWithAPen  27, Female, Indiana, USA - 5 comments
27
May 2010
9:19 AM EDT
   

Mmkay. So I have seriously been considering attending Olney Friends School when I'm a sophomore (that gives me a two summers and a school year). Why not? I know I wouldn't get religious persecution for my Quakerism because the school is run by Quakers... Sure, I wouldn't really have internet access for much other than school work, but I could live with contacting my parents via snail mail. From what I read on the site ( olneyfriends.org ), the attitude displayed by the students is a lot more serious than you find at most regular schools, and at mine, there is only a handful of "serious" students. Very comfortable, communal environment, AMAZING music program, some student theater, vegetarian meal options (:D), and a town that's just a bike ride away (only on weekends though...). Those were a few of the pros, here come the cons- Expensive, no internet in dorms (like I said), all students are required to do farm work (I'm used to manual labor, just not daily), and I would have to do my own laundry (:P). I'm still thinking it over. Dad says that next fall break we'll visit for a tou
1 comment(s) - 11:29 PM - 05/29/2010
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    mokhtarmd  66, Male, Malaysia - 3 comments
15
May 2011
11:05 PM +08
   

Its Just Love

TO ALL WHO TRY TO FIND LOVE

If you find yourself in love with someone
and that someone does not love you
be gentle to youself
there is nothing wrong with you
love just did not to rest in that someone's heart

If you find someone in love with you
and you can not answer that love
feel honoured that love came by and called on you door
but gently refuse the feeling you cannot return
as love did not choose to settle in you heart

If you find yourself in love with someone
and the love returned
it still can happen that love chooses to leave
do not try to reclaim it and do not assess any blame
let it despite the pain
there is a reason and meaning to this....

You cannot choose love by yourself
LOVE CHOOSES YOU.

Tags: love
3 comment(s) - 02:45 AM - 06/02/2012
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    TellieGirl  34, Female, Canada - 4 comments
22
Feb 2010
3:06 PM EST
   

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I hope this can help someone out
2 comment(s) - 09:49 PM - 02/22/2010
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Current Tags: and cash, links to pleaser

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    cupcake5999  21, Female, Canada - 8 comments
27
Mar 2010
1:14 PM EDT
   

Kelly is coming over today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




2 comment(s) - 02:50 PM - 04/06/2010
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    rued159  30, Female, United Kingdom - 1 comments
19
Feb 2010
1:01 PM GMT
   

Faking. Something that i have become acustomed to doing. I mean like everywhere i am i have to fake how i feel. I hate it when i have to fake my real thoughts so that i fit in. I cant help it if i ha.ve high ambitions. So what if i get good grades that i cant control even though sometimes i dont even try it doesnt mean that i have to be a perfect model that knows everything about anything
1 comment(s) - 02:46 PM - 03/19/2010
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Current Tags: life..., no, NO 2 fake lifes

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    bbraunius  79, Male, Michigan, USA - 1 comments
28
Feb 2010
6:41 PM EDT
   

test
Tags: test
1 comment(s) - 03:15 PM - 03/11/2010
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    dkp  61, Male, Belgium - 1 comments
06
Mar 2010
8:31 PM WEST
   

Ben je al opgeschreven voor het koningschieten?
Tags: Hi
1 comment(s) - 02:49 PM - 03/10/2010
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    ajax88  35, Female, DC, Washington, USA - 1 comments
14
Mar 2010
9:26 AM CST
   

Ashes

Look at all the lonely hearts
Shivering out in the dark
Hiding from the Truth
Cover up the proof
Demons that I've tried to hide�
Imprison me in my own lies
And all that I can do is
� cover up the proof
Secrets got me torn apart
Trying to destroy my heart
But I can't see the light
All that's cutting through me
Now�is night.
1 comment(s) - 07:39 PM - 03/20/2010
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    swordbearer  68, Male, New York, USA - 5 comments
18
Jun 2010
7:32 AM EDT
   

How retirement feels to a man with no money.

It's been a little over 5 weeks since I retired and I see the benefits and shortcomings of living on one's own schedule. I feel the freedom and ability to flex to anything I need or want to do. But at the same time I need to constantly be creating schedules for myself to remain busy and productive, else boredom WOULD set in. I feel no special pressure over what day it is, no Monday blues or Friday anxiousness, no Saturday relief or Sunday resolve to start Monday over again. On the other hand, I feel no days at all. Each day blends into the next and I often forget what day IT IS! I have been exercising more in the gym but I haven't lost any weight because more of my day is spent in front of the computer doing my ministry. I clean the house and cook, a nice little house husband. I hope that there is rewards in heaven for this and that the ministry is blessed because of the work in it. I am socially deprived. My wife constantly goes off to work and I am left with no one to talk to. I am despirate for other folks to talk to. But the good side of that is that I am spared the constant over and over complaining that I heard when I was working. So all in all I am glad I am retired but learning to adapt. It will take a few months but I will get a routine that I can live with because I think the routine is what I miss most. A lonely Swordbearer.
1 comment(s) - 08:52 AM - 06/28/2010
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Current Tags: busy, lonely, retired, socially deprived

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    hollyshaye  23, Female, United Kingdom - 2 comments
25
Mar 2010
11:44 AM EDT
   

The life of Holly Clarke

My name is Holly,
I have to stay at my childminders.
Thats it.
Ha Ha Ha.
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    marty  66, Male, New York, USA - 1 comments
08
Apr 2010
3:55 PM EDT
   

4/8/10 Another day of Joan Guzzardo sleeping and eating in my back bedroom with her mom. Its amzing how this fat hoarding person does not do anything making my wife , her sister to do all the work. She is a gossip monigerer
1 comment(s) - 08:54 PM - 04/09/2010
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    FakeeSmiles  28, Female, Texas, USA - 4 comments
01
Oct 2011
4:02 PM EDT
   

Lately I've been feeling soo alone.. I do have an amazing boyfriend, but we're always fighting..and I hate it. I'm 15 going on 16, and I know that's really young to be saying this, but I do love him. We've been together for almost 10 months, and he's made me a better person. He�was my first kiss and he just means everything to me.�He is definitely my best friend,�and I feel like he's the only one who cares.
I don't really have anyone else to go to anymore though. I have him, but I don't know how much longer that will be for. I'm scared he's going to leave me.. I'm terrified of that..and I can't talk about this with anyone else because there's no one I trust besides him. I feel like I lost all of my closest friends this year.
I feel so depressed and I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't help but cry myself to sleep every night. And I would love to tell my boyfriend about all of this, but I don't want him to feel like he's the reason I'm so upset. Honestly, he's kept me alive all this time. Through all the times we've fought, he's been the one to just hug me when I'm crying, and he's always been here for me. He respects me.�He tells me I'm probably one of the weirdest girls he has ever met, but that's why he loves me. And he says he loves everything about me.
So why am I still so upset..?
Can someone please just help me?

4 comment(s) - 08:00 PM - 10/10/2011
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    MaddMonster  28, Female, Virginia, USA - 4 comments
30
Apr 2010
4:40 PM EDT
   

Fourty-Two Days

Hmmm, where should I begin?
It has been officially�fourty-two days�since the break up that nearly killed me a week ago. My wounds are almost healed but not completely, but the tears still continue to crash around me.
People swear up and down that my fragile, broken, heart will heal soon, but I don't believe them. The wounds will leave scars�that will always remain�deep within�me, and the memories will surely be the death of me. Things haven't been the same for days, and so I continue to find myself in my thoughts, thinking about taking my very own life. Everday is a battle for me to not give in to the sin of death.
But, when I truely think about taking my own life, the peace I find in my heart, makes suicide all the more tempting.

Tags: , help
4 comment(s) - 03:40 PM - 05/04/2010
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    ScienceNerd7  27, Male, Minnesota, USA - 1 comments
01
May 2010
4:29 PM CST
   

Explination for Creation and First Socal Log

I have decided to start a online journal, for i can make it more secure than on paper, and my previous log, hidden im my legos, will be burned during the next bonfire, or i will soak it in a solution of 5 to 1 for food coloring, and then throw it away.

I belive if anyone was to read my previous journal, or for this matter my last journal, it would be quite devistating, not to mention embarassing. Some people have heard i keep a log of socal interactions, but hopefully no one belives me.

The main reason for this blog is to perform a socal experiment. Simply i will be keeping this some-what detailed log or journal of my daily socal interactions, and to my whimsy, my daily feelings.

Socal Log #1:
May 1st 3010,
I anticipated going to Party America today, to purchase dectorations for the party next week end. Of course, after getting ready, my friends,( sara, brad, megan, emily, abby, and others) could not come last minute. I stayed home, changed into my geeky pajamas and then watched big bang. Next, my mother brought me to ikea, we talked much, mostly about the enviroment, but some other topics arouse such as my use of large words, and medival churches.

After the tiring day, i came home, and talked to my father but mainly my mother. Eventually i had nothing else to say but i felt the need to continue socal interactions, so i talked to my mother of the stupidity and idiocracy of the school district 112.

Today, Brandon Flanders made it present to me i can block people before adding them. This started a chain of thought leading to me adding my acquantinces from church, but blocking my youth pastor and his wife, because they comment on my statuses, and yell at me forcing me to remove my opinons. Jesse Davies tried to add me, my youth pastors brother in law, but i know that if i add him, he might mention somting to brandon, but if i dont, he might mention somthing to me infront of brandon. I think my best course will be to add him if he requests me again. I also think i might have to block more people before they find me, that way i will reduce the option of a akward and or painful situation.
1 comment(s) - 02:44 PM - 05/07/2010
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    whoami?  38, Female, Nebraska, USA - 12 comments
18
Jan 2011
10:30 AM EDT
   

I am who I am

"But by the grace of God, I am what I am, his grace to me was not without effect." 1 Corinthians 15:10

I am who I am, no apologies.
I'm done with working to please you.
You'll never be happy.
I'll never be who you want me to be.
Tired of should bes and oughta beens.
I am who I am.
I am Ashlie.
Daughter of the King.
You don't own me, I am His, forever and always.
Don't need no jewels, fancy hair styles or�in style�clothes.
Don't need the perfect body, best house,�or high class�life.
Don't need any of it, I just need to rest in the arms of my Abba, my King.
Just need to be who I am.
No apologies.
If you don't love me for who I am, then you can take your dreams, your should bes and oughta beens, and be on your way.
I am forgiven and loved, for who I am.
All that I am, and all that I'm not.
And my Father has given me friends, family and a fiance that love me the same.
They love me for who I am.
No� need to impress, perform, or hide in the corner.
I get to live bodly, loudly, and beautifully.
I walk by faith, I live by grace, I rest in love.
I am who I am.
I am who I am.
1 comment(s) - 07:54 AM - 01/20/2011
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    samflieskites  33, Female, Florida, USA - 1 comments
17
May 2010
12:56 PM EDT
   

"Rich Bitch" -17/05/10

Dear Diary,������������� <----� scratch that, it's gay.�who�does that anymore?�


I'm sort of getting sick & tired of people saying I'm a "rich bitch". I keep telling them I am definately not and they don't believe me. Psh, yeah, I go to concerts, I have a bigger house than most people at my school, I go on alot of trips. So what? Besides, kay, I go to concerts every once & awhile when there is one I like, and my dad gets a discount on the tickets anyways. I have a bigger house
than most people at my school because here in Brampton, (well, around this area) there aren't many big houses & people don't have alot of money & live in apartments & those ugly chicken coop homes. And, okay, I go to Florida every year because my grandma owns a condo down there. MY GRANDMA get that in your mind. She is retired OF COURSE SHE HAS MONEY! And I've been on two cruises so what? They were still mostly paid by my grandma. Goodness, people need to mind their own buisiness.�Most of�my friends get spoiled. They buy hollister, bench, tna, abercrombie. Even though Tna & Bench is crap clothing they still get it. Not saying I want it, because I don't, I just think it's un-necessary for them to be getting all mad at me because I do things and have things that they don't when their parents are going off & buying them all this expensive shit for easter and for other stupid things.

Get over that it doesn't matter what we have. It's the person on the inside that counts.
Gosh, get a life and mind about your own.
1 comment(s) - 09:21 PM - 05/18/2010
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Current Tags: Rich, Abercrombie, Bench, Bitch, Friends, Hollister, Rich Bitch, Spoiled, Tna

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    Privacy963  28, Male, California, USA - 2 comments
13
Feb 2011
5:43 PM
   

ALthough today I may have sinned I know I am now free. Free to love GOd free to look at him free to really pray fo his forgiveness sincerly. THis week's been hard though I know I will pull through. I have my friends on my sides and my mind on school and I believe that there are people who truly care about me. LORD GOD PUNISH ME FOR MY SINS OF THIS WEEK TODAY SO I MAY LIVE TO SEE TOMMORROW SO I SHALL SEE JOY TOMMORROW.
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