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    GoodEnough  56, Female, Arizona, USA - 2 entries
Jul 2013
6:43 AM MST

4th of July awakening :(

177I told myself that without a committed relationship I would maintain my distance from Shawn, I have grown tired of being involved in a 'Friend With Benefits' arrangement.� I have told myself this over and over since March, it is now July and still it continues.

Last night he invited me to use the pool.� I knew deep down that it wasn't so much as the invite to use the pool as much as it was his need to have sex, and still, I found my way over there.

During a conversation with his daughter in the kitchen, she had mentioned how he had become so intoxicated during a trip they took out of state that he continuously called out for his ex-wife, it was then that I think I hit rock bottom, the rug was pulled out from under me and my heart sank like a rock thrown in a pool.

What am I doing?� Why am I allowing myself to be held responsible for the pain she caused him?� I am not her and I deserve more.

Last night was our last night together, I can't continue this arrangement we have knowing that it will never amount to more that just an occasional lay for him.� For me, it has much more emotional value then that.

Goodbye Shawn, I wish you luck.
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Current Tags: denial, future, hurt, pain, past, relationship, Shawn

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    Ranilyn  29, Female, Canada - 26 entries
Jul 2010
4:55 PM MDT

JUST look at it the from the other view okay?! You e not the only one thats getting hurt!

I'm tired of being the understanding one; tired of being the middleman; tired of seeing both sides of the situation and being the only who could; tired of being the mature one in freaking everything; tired of trying to ask people to PLEASE open your mind, and just TRY to see from another point of view. Is that really too much to ask? You don't have to agree with them - sometimes I don't either, but please just try to see where the other person's�coming from!

I"m not trying to side with anyone. I"m not trying to antagonize you�by being on "the other side." I don't agree with either one of you. I"m simply trying to let you understand what the other person's thinking and why they act that way - not saying that its right or wrong. I'm trying to give you�an unbiased view of the situation, not defend the other person. In fact, I usually do the same thing to the other person, I tell them what YOU think, what�THEY needed to work on,�and WHY you reacted the way you did. And�guess what? Do guess who's the scrapegoat who gets BOTH of the vented feelings of hurt.��It's too difficult to try an alleviate these misunderstandings, too difficult to nurture forgiveness and love between people (especially when you get�the brunt of it and people get angry and act childishly immature...anyway...) �but it's so stupidly painful to watch people fight and argue, how they think they're think the�one that is being hurt�and do not stop for a second to see how they're hurting the other person, how its JUST miscommunications. I have no idea if that's a real word, and truthfully, don't care at the moment because it sums up what� I was trying to say.

Frankly, I think the both sides are at fault, neither is right, both too narrow minded to see from past their own perspectives. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE BE A LITTLE MORE UNDERSTANDING?! Yes the way to solve this problem is to ignore the other person even if they're not even talking about the fight anymore. Yes, leave the room because I'm in here. Yes, please talk rot�behind the person's back and in front of people care for the both of you and hurt them too. Yes, thank me for making you cry and asking me if I thought I had achieve my goal because that's exactly what I wanted when�it was definitely not easy to get up and actually try to do something about it rather than watch it happen AGAIN passively.� Yes, please bring up every single time you can think of about how the other person did you wrong. And you say I'M the one who needs to grow up.

As you can see I was rather upset, and that was a rather long rant that had been in me for awhile. For anyone who actually got this far, who read this far, I want to say I appreciate it. To wrap it up, I just want to say that next time someone puts you down, or hurt your feelings deeply, or you get into a fight, please try and consider try to see from the other person's point of view. When you get hurt, chances are - not always but most likely - �you have hurt them somehow too, if not before they hurt you, definitely during the heated conversation that follows. �Don't retaliate because they're done something to you, then it'll never end, and then you also hurt the people who are watching, because its usually such a small and STUPID thing.

Well, the world calls...
Have a g'night sleep everyone!
With love, Supersolvers
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Current Tags: hurt, misunderstanding, perspective, tired, try, understand

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    vampiricakatt  28, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries
May 2010
7:12 AM EDT

I am here once again

You scream and yell
And i just sit there
You call me names and such
and I don't care
Your pushing me and pushing me
Closer to the edge
you rag and rag
and All I said
was have a good day
When I didn't want to talk
you took it the wrong way
and now here I am
here again
Broken down inside
what you don't get
Is that what you say hurts me
no matter what I don't do it to you
why do you do it to me?
So have a good life
Because I'm gone
And never will be seen again
Katt Gravlin
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Current Tags: bullies, hurt, pain, sorrow

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    vampiricakatt  28, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries
May 2010
6:59 AM EDT

down for the count

bam Thump i hit the floor
no one notices my screams and yells for help
I feel the blood trickle down my cheek
I feel the pain inside of me
The blood has spread to my lips
inside my mouth with a busted lip
I feel the hot tears go down
my cheek as I cry
He stands over me wishing i would die
Everything he's done
everything he's said
Was a lie
and always will be.
Katt Chapman
Tags: Hurt, pain, Sorrow
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Current Tags: Hurt, pain, Sorrow

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    loveKL92  31, Female, Ohio, USA - 18 entries
Oct 2009
8:21 AM EDT

Daughter for daughter?

Dear mother,

you've hurt me you see,

you could never believe in me.

Can't you see that.

dear mother,

you chose between your own daughters,

left one for the slaughter,

and stole the other one away.

Dear mother,

you hurt your own daughter,

or did i hurt my-self?

Dear Mother,

Why am i satan's child from hell?

Well wat if i,

grew wings and fly.

would you believe in me the way you should?

Or what if i,

broke down to cry,

would you hold me like you should?

Or what if i throw my self out a second story window,

would you care for me,

dying in my own reflection,

can't you see?:

You chose between your own daughters,

only if I was smarter,

Maybe you would've choosen me?

You chose between your own daughers,

and now one's no longer,

willing to fight,

since you left her life.

Dear mother,

I'm sorry for who i've been,

but you can't change who i am,

so i let this go....

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Current Tags: being abbandond, daughters, honesty, hurt, mom, pain

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    CreateSomething  51, Female, Texas, USA - 86 entries
Apr 2009
8:44 AM CST

Lost Soul Mate

� I know love and I know loss. I believe that everyone has a soul mate. Yes, there are others you will love but there is only (�I believe) one soul mate. Mine has come and gone. It hurts every day of every moment of my life. The worst days are days like this. The days that you feel it in everything you do. Everything you hear or see reminds you of them. Every breath you take makes you want to scream and your eyes hurt from the millions of tears you have shed. You can almost feel them there with you, holding you, smiling... you can almost feel their gentle touch. The worst thing is that you want to stay in this miserable moment all day just so you can be there with them once more. Then you realize that you must come back to your present reality, the one with your new love that is always there for you. You can't be in this state when they get home. The hard part is to pull yourself together and say good-bye to those cherished memories once again until that horrible day comes that�tortures you�all over again.

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Current Tags: cry, destiny, hurt, lost, lost love, love, pain, soul mate, tears, tragedy

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    China  31, Female, Tennessee, USA - 7 entries
May 2008
9:39 PM CDT


idk wat 2 do. its like i can't get ova him no matta how hard i try. sumtimes i feel like i wana cry about it but mi emotional engine won't let me i guess its tryn 2 tel me dat cryn ova him nd about da situation ain't gne make it betta but i stil dnt kno wat else 2 do cuz i stil have feelns 4 him n their da kind u have 4 sum1 wen ur n a relationship wit sum1. i neva told him or anyone but i did love him nd i stil do n i think dats 1 reason i can't get ova him cuz b4 i met him i waz lukn 4 sum1 2 love n care about nd have dem care about me bak n he showd dat. he did but sumtimes wen i think about it i keep questioning miself did he really care or wuz it all a lie..It seems like he knew wat i waz goin through nd exactly wat 2 do 2 bring me back dwn nd knew if he did it long enuf it wuld take me 4eva 2 get over it cuz i been wantin it 4 so long n 2 bad..well i dk how he did but he did he knew dat i wantd 4 sum1 2 care 4 me n give me dat comfort i waz lukn 4.I feel kind of dumb cuz i fell 4 it nd now i can't even stop thinkin about him 4 dat long its like evrytime i dnt think about him i jus want him more nd i miss him more nd i realize how much i really did love him nd cared 4 him.I neva knew dat mi feelns 4 him or anybody culd b diz deep.Their so deep dat it got me 2 scared 2 try anotha relationship cuz i got dat fear again nd its deeper than b4.I wish der wuz a way i culd get ova him but i guess dere isnt unless tryn 2 b strong but all i wanna do is cry nd i still have dat letter i wrote him nd sumtimes i read it 2 remind miself y i wanna cry nd y i still think about what do i do? i guess we'll neva b.....
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Current Tags: heartbroken, hurt, stuck

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    Dreamer  32, Female, Australia - 17 entries
Apr 2008
4:54 AM WST

Recap 3

He honestly told me he� that he was at first �attracted to the fake myspace girl's looks but fell in love with�ME simply because of my personality... thankfully he forgave me.

My realtionship with Eddy for 19 months was nothing but emotional, we have never met� physically he doesnt even have a picture of what i look like. This took a toll on him and�he broke it off.

I refused to accept that...i actually stalked him!!! Calling him 5 times a day he never botherd to pick up my calls so that infuriated me even more. I recall calling his house phone once he picked up and quickly changed his accent and said "this is Eddy's dad Sorry he isnt home" The same thing kept happening whenever anyone picked up the phone....they always claimed he was out

Two weeks later he called we talked and out of nowhere he gave me a kiss. Turns out that was a one night stand!!� a friend of his texted me saying Eddy was confused when he came back to before i kept on fighting for our love to come back. The response not what i had excpected

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Current Tags: fake, hate, hurt, love, myspace, sad

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    China  31, Female, Tennessee, USA - 7 entries
Apr 2008
6:34 PM CDT


wat do u do wen da one u love and care about has left u for da one dey like n da person dey like is treatin dem wrong n u dnt kno how 2 tell dem cuz dey won't talk 2 u n u cant do nothing about it but cry 4 dem n u cuz u kno he has dne u da same way but u dnt want him 2 get hurt even doe he hurt u badly u still want da best 4 him no matta wat cuz u care about dem enuf 2 still love dem afta everything dey did 2 hurt u n make u feel i wish der was a way i cud tell him cuz its hurtin me more than wat he's dne 2 me cuz he shud b wit me cuz i love him and care about him deeply but i jus dnt kno how 2 tell him and now it mite b 2 late well it is kind of 2 late cuz im not wit him n he ignores me even doe he said he wud still tawk 2 me idk im jus real hurt rite now

Tags: afraid, hurt
2 comment(s) - 04:50 PM - 04/09/2008
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Current Tags: afraid, hurt

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    HelloKittyWhoreFace  31, Female, New Zealand - First entry!
Mar 2008
4:16 PM EEST

Reflecting Back.

Every Teenager Has Worries.

What Am I oing To Wear tommorrow.

Why Doesn`tt Anyone Understand Me.

My Math`ss Homework is due in

Justt Lil Thing`ss.

In My Exprience sooo far i had all thesse plus more. theyy all essulated up into one big problem. It Kinda All Started With These Group Of MAte`ss I Hung Owtt With. The Crowd That Smoked Diid Drug`s Etc.�Eventually I Gave Into Peer Presure. And Was Doing All That. My Life Wasn`tt Too Bad Until�This Boy� Came Into itt. Ohh How I Loved Him. I Was Young Butt VEerytime I saw Him I Thought Of Perfection, And Everytime He Smiled My Way Justt Melted My Heart. Calling Him Mine Made Me The Happiest Person ever! I Wasn`t Perfect Butt He Except all My Flaw`ss Accepted Me FAwr Who I Am He Wads NIce Sincer Butt Of All Thing`ss He Was Mine. I Actuall Thought We Could Lastt Forvever Butt On That Saturday Morning Hey Said Thing`ss Werent Workking Owtt. We Should Just BE Mates. I Don`tt Thinkk Anyone Understood How Hard TThat Was For Me. Mascara Runing Down My Face All Day. Every Lil Thing Reminded Me Of Him. I Really Wanted Too Gett Over Himm I Was Silly And Diid Itt In The Stupidest Way Ever. Giving Head Too A Guy I Had Known For About 3 or 4 Week`s. Goshh That Justt Give Me A Reputatiion As A Slutt!!! On That Sunday Night I Gott A Txt- From My Ex Saying

Him'Hey. How`ve You Been?'

Me'Not Soo Good Butt Trynah Gett Better'

Him' Neither. I Can`t Believe I Lett The Bestt Girl In My Life go'

Me' I`m Nott Gonna Lie. Yes Losing You Was The Hardest Thing For Me. And I Still Don'tt understand Why?'

Him' I Never Should Of. I Miss You Like Crazy. I`ld Do Anything too Gett You Back. Hurting You Hurt Me More Then Anything. I Love Youu. Can You Give Us Another Shot. . . PLEASE'

That Was It. I Was Sooo Confused. I Still Loved Him But Wasn`tt Sure If It Was The Right Thing. What If I Got Hurt Again. I Couldnt Bare going Thru That Again. Butt Without Him There Was Really Nothing Good In Life. I Told Him I Would If He Promised Neever To Hurt ME Again. He Said He Couldn`t Do That. At The Time I Believed Him. Butt Lil Did I Know How Bad Hee Could Play With My Heart. ANd How Bad He Could Hurtt ME Again. . .

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Current Tags: Betrayl, Hurt, Love, Teenage

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