So i was feeling good today ran errands all morning, talked to mom then started more cleaning and organizing of my room. felt good putting pictures up which i haven't done in probably three years and i'm thinking i'm handy then my new desk chair that i bought and put together yesterday a screw just pops out of it!! hahaha it was funny and then i fixed it :)
So i wrote Lisa an email soon after i got back from VA in April after my grandma passed and i don't know if it was her death or what but i finally wrote Lisa the letter I've been holding in for five years just about her behavior and life and basically her alcoholisim.....so that was a few months ago and I'm going next week to visit VA and family in Maryland and I�really wanted to see her and hang out but wasn't sure if she had read it or what her feelings where and she said yes we will hang out while i'm here so either she didn't read it or she is acting like it didn't happen which i figured she would do then today I get this:
Hey girl i am finally checking my email. I am really excited you are coming soon and we can spend some time together.� I read your email and sorry i didnt respond it was late one night at a friends house when i read it .� Whether you believe it ornot it has helped me alot we definitely have a lot to talk about when you come. see ya soon! callme when your on the eastsidehomie.love you and miss you, you are a great friend.
I'm so happy and relived that I�know i can say those things to her and maybe when I'm home we can actually have an adult conversation about her issues and see what I�can do to help, just sucks being so far away.....
So my first official week at unemployment and I got an intership�starting after my�trip back home in a few weeks. Should be good experience and something I'm interested in digital archiving and it is contract with NASA so that is cool to be going through archiving all of thier materials. I have done a good deal of organizing my room this week too
My body aches tonight haven't done much but read and sleep all day today and this is my second day on my body cleanse of sorts all fruits, veggies and a little dairy which means�no Coffee!! and that is a killer especially in the morning the rest seems easy so far been snacking on watermelon and apples with a lot of salad. Been having headaches every night might� be from�the lack of�caffine and pretty much no refined sugar in this diet at all. Doing it for a week see how it goes and how i feel before i take off on my VA vacation! Been getting in touch with some old friends so it will be nice when i go home and busy I hope.
Def off to the gym in the morning.....now more reading Eclipse is getting inteeresting!! love it!! I�can't put it down
Could someone out there please give me some helpful insight.� I just can't seem to get any better.� Depression just seems to get worse.� The night before I go to bed, I tell myself: I will get up early, eat right, do the things on my "to do list" but then I wake up, lay in bed and the day begins like the day before.� I don't have any "get up and go".� That doomed feeling takes over.� Then the night is here again.� I ponder about what the day brought.� Nothing as usual.� I get depressed and the whole cycle returns.� It is so lonely and frustrating.� I am living in my "own world"� and there seems to be no escape. Can I ever see or have a "real" life.� Or is this the best that there will ever be.� Could someone out there offer some words of encouragement or helpful criticism. Anything would be welcomed. uptowngirl.
Every night I set a goal for the next day.� It is always the same. Get up at a decent time. Try and accomplish something even if it's small. However, my depression get's the best of me, and the day ends the same.� That is nothing get's accomplished. I get out of bed around noon, feel more depressed because I screwed up again and the day starts and ends like the one before.� My bed is my only safe place. But it is my worst enemy at the same time. Any help....please.� Uptowngirl.
Why is the bond between sister's so strong?
��� It's so crazy how life brings you around people you didn't know and makes them a big part of you. That person tests you� mentally and emotionally. Makes you work harder as a person to show them that anything is possible. Shows you that whether you know it or not someone is counting on you to make a good example. It makes you feel good to know that they kind of respect you and look up to you. I get that with my sister, Kiana May Williams Almarie, CharryNana.
��� I love her and sometimes I wish I would have set a better example for her as her older sister. I feel like what I have�done wrong in my life she sees it and doesn't respect me for it. I have made plenty of mistakes that I wish never happened but then I think about it and realize that whether she knows it or not I am a good role model for her. I showed her that just because we makes mistakes you can still do good. That it is okay to not be perfect. Perfect is something people could never be.
��� I would hope�that she�understand that I wish I could have been there for her all her life, but life has it's way of doing things. I hope she realizes that maybe it was a good thing we met when she was older because now I can talk to her and we can have some kind of understanding.
��� I thank GOD [Allah] that he brought me and her together because then I can tell her some of the mistakes I made and hope she doesn't do what I did. We can learn from eachother and grow from eachother especailly now that we ar emaking life changing decisions. She has been more than just a sister to me but also one of my best friends and I never ever will forget her.
��� Sometimes we fight and get mad at eachother and act like we hate eachother but I feel thats what sisters are there for. For them to get on eachother nerves and to not agree all the time. No matter what at the end things will always be good because thats how strong a bond is when it comes to blood.
��� I am however sad that I am leaving her soon. I mean we have had some really good times and some really bad times but if it wasnt for that me and her wouldnt be as close as we are now. So what makes a sister's bond so strong is the love that they have in thier hearts for eachother.
Well, me and my older sister found out that she is leaving to go back to Cali. probably by the beginning or the end of next month.� Yea it's gonna suck cos she only been out here in Jacksonville,Fl for like. Prolly 8-9 months. She may b annoying and stuff. But at the same time, She's my sister. Nd its been 20 years since i seen her. & it kinda hurts to see her leave again!! I may never know when's the next time i am gonna see her. I kinda wish she would stay, but at the same time. I understand why she is leaving. My mom bought her a ticket to come down here, but she never showed my sister or me any love. I wish i could leave too! lol. but shitt. Life is Life. She may wanna go back home because she misses her dad. But she's my sister, nd i'm gonna miss her too. I'm scared because i have a feeling that it might be a while before i see her again. Nd i still haven't seen my two brothers. Nd it's been 24 years since i haven't seen them..
well, shitt. Life may suck, only because you make it.
Add comment
kiikz 37, Female, California, USA - First entry!