Parris, Abigail, and I went to the library. Parris had a show to attend on books. Abigail and I got my books I placed on hold by Patricia Cornwell.Then Abigail took off to find her some books. After Parris class we waited till she found some books to check out. It alway like Christmas when you leave, since you can check out thirty-five books each. We stopped by McDonalds and got Abigail and I a soda. Then took Parris to Starbucks. I called Corina she just got back from her brothers trial. The judge saw he had changed and gave him as little as possible. Thank God!!!
�
our susan,my sister in law, bought 100 different flower bulbs and she bought some roses. when we go to riley mansion in clifton i love to pull weeds and work in the garden. To me it is so peaceful and fun to get in and get my hands dirty and then see the results when the flowers come up. I must have a hundred photos of flowers by now. I' amso looking forward to doing this. then next spring and summer when we go to visit the flowers will be everywhere and ill be running around ,camera in hand taking photos agin. right around the time of our honeymoon,which we went to yorshire and stayed at riley, i planted some wildflowers in back by a tree. So those also will come up. Our honeymoon was so cool. we went to holforth were the last of the summer wine was filmed. Since then we have been back to yorkshire to skipton castle,and haworth to see where the brontes lived and several other places. but back to gardening however. All the colors of the rainbow will be in these flowers. They just had a new fence done in the back and were planning to put clemetis to grow all over it as well.we plan on going to riley �next tuesday, so god willing the weather will be alright for the planting.
we have been told by her grandaughter that she clings to life, this was a couple of days ago. She floats in and out of conciouenesss. she is dieabetic, and has a one percent chance of survival. �it happened very suddenly and seeminly out of the blue. as far as everyone knew she had no symptoms at all. just bam,and oh my god, nooooo. This has come as a horrible shock to everyone that loves her and knows her.As we wait for news and pray believeing that we will be able to glorify god with this somehow, it is so terribly hard to wait for news.Not �knowing what to do.We are positive the doctors are doing there very best to care for her. �myslef i try to take my mind off of it but i cant really bear the thought of losing my friend.It is just so sudden and unbelievable.
I talked with my father,
last night,
about you.
He said, "It's time to grow up Bean,
and appologize to her."
"What percisely do you mean?"
I asked.
He said," Every one knows who you have,
been,
it's time to grow,
time to show them you are!"
After we hung up.
I called you.
You said that you'd call right back.
I waited for your call,
it didn't come at all.
I wish we could,
go back and fix what's broken,
save the time that was stolen.
It's time to grow.
Now either grow with me,
or else leave,
because I can't dangle on a string.
KL
I am just so damn bored with this town anymore.� Plus living out at my mom's house is boring too.� I have to work tomorrow but not until three in the after noon until nine in the evening.� I asked my boyfriend if I could come in before work and hang out with him but he said "and you b all wat and sick 4 work i do not know call in am we talk love u good night".� If I walk in early and hang out and then walk to work it won't be that big of deal because I am going to be well rested and work ain't that far away from his house. But whatever if he don't want to see me that is fine.� maybe even my mom's boyfriend will take me out driving tomorrow before work.� I am just so sick and tired of not doing a damn thing anymore. �I am so used to being around my boyfriend and people that I can chill with not my mom and not my brother and not the stinking dog.� Like I don't mind any of them but being with them all the time and hanging out at the house all the time just gets old and boring all the time.� All I ever do anymore is play around on the internet and watch television and after awhile all that shit gets so fucking boring�
Well this morning I�got up at like 7 a.m and then I got a shower and let the dog out to go to the bathroom. �I got dressed and got ready to go into town, but the thing is I had to walk so it takes me an hour or so to walk in and then when I finally got there I hung out with my boyfriend and then we got it on and then we went out to eat and then we walked back to his house and I left from there.� But after we were done getting it on I went to the bathroom and he is bringing me my cell phone because it was ringing and I look at the number and I thought I knew who it was but wasn't sure and next thing you know I answer the phone and the guy on the other end says is this Ashley�************ and I said yeah he said "my name is officer ********* and I have papers here that you are going to have to go to court against ******�***** and I was like okay and I don't know if I want to go or not but he says I have to go and I am scared of this person and this person has kind of ruined my trust in men because he had hurt me.�
Dear Mommy,
I can't find you anywhere,
I love you,
don't you care?
I no longer want to live,
because of what I did.
Why Mommy,
Why?
Why am I hurting this way,
you didn't love me,
you left and turned my blue skies gray.
Why Mommy?
Why today?
forget it,
you'll never see the pain inside this heart,
behind these eyes,
Something told me,
it all was a lie.
That you never cared,
never wanted nor needed me to be there!
I miss you Mommy,
what did i do,
that was no good?
Why am I,
left with words mis-understood,
with lies and broken burdens,
It's my own life I have stolen,
so Why Mommy?
Did you ever love me?
Did you ever care?
Did you ever need me,
just to be right there?
Dear mother,
you've hurt me you see,
you could never believe in me.
Can't you see that.
dear mother,
you chose between your own daughters,
left one for the slaughter,
and stole the other one away.
you hurt your own daughter,
or did i hurt my-self?
Dear Mother,
Why am i satan's child from hell?
Well wat if i,
grew wings and fly.
would you believe in me the way you should?
Or what if i,
broke down to cry,
would you hold me like you should?
Or what if i throw my self out a second story window,
would you care for me,
dying in my own reflection,
can't you see?:
You chose between your own daughters,
only if I was smarter,
Maybe you would've choosen me?
You chose between your own daughers,
and now one's no longer,
willing to fight,
since you left her life.
I'm sorry for who i've been,
but you can't change who i am,
so i let this go....
Add comment
