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I think there might be something wrong with me,

Because I always feel so empty...

Like�a part of me is missing!

Every passing day seems so strange,

Deep down I know something has to change...

I�know�I have to change my ways,

Maybe I�will one of these days...

Because something wrong with me,

And I just need someone to hear my plea

I maybe left some pertinent info out last time,he has done time for that rape,I mentioned. And I recently found out, he is a PEDOPHILE. And in his PAROLE, it stipulates, he is not to� be�around schools,playgrounds or the likes.

Almost got to my two year mark but I've finally slept with man #2!! It was really fun and I'm glad it's out of the way....not sure if he will�be hanging around much longer�but at least it was fun :)� trying hard not to be girly about it and get caught up in the emotions of it all but just have to look at the fact that we prob dated for about a month a little too soon in my head for sex but damn i couldn't resist it had to hop on the chance for guy number two, that's a big deal for me and i've been waiting a very long time to find someone I kinda like and I think is cute and then just give it up.....it had just been too long! def help me get back on the horse so they say :)

I�had a good night and a good day.� First off last night I had stayed at my boyfreinds house and we had watched Holloween the one that Rob Zombie had directed. Then we went to bed about twelve thirty and woke up about nine thirty.� I went over to get myself some breakfast and then came back to his house and started cleaning.� The kids were and so was my boyfriend.� The kids were so happy that I had stayed last night.� I�am glad that I was able to stay and have fun with him and the kids today. �Two oclock came really fast though.� Then i went and hung out with my mom for a little bit while her car was getting an oil change.� then we came back home and I have been home since about three thirty.�

I work tomorrow from seven in the morning till three thirty in the after noon. then I will probably go and see my boyfriend for a little bit and then come home and get some rest for the next day.� My work schedual is so crazy that I dont get to see the kids that much so I was happy that he let me stay with him last night.�

November 20th I have to go to court against my ex-boyfriend.� He had thrown a coffee can that was filled with ashes, spit, cig butts, and whatever else at my face and left a mark and then I couldn't get him out of the house and I went on the porch and these other people went in my house and got him out and then the cops were called.� The thing that upset me the most is it was an occurance that he was hitting me and I�didn't turn him in because he scared me and I was also in love I thought.� Now that he is in jail they are finally doing something about it.� This had happend back in 2007.� I wish my boyfriend now could go with me but he can't because its at 3:15 and his kids get out of school at 3:30 so he ain't going to be able to go with me and I�am not going to be able to do this by myself.�

ok well i dont believe in god ,but if i did he would be getting an ass kicking right now cos my back has been in pain for the last week. ive finally given in and am hopefully going to the doctor tomorrow. i just get annoyed cos they always say that there is nothing wrong with me ,but evidently there is otherwise i would not be at the surgery! muppets..... anyways , even with my back in pieces, MY HOUSE WON HOUSE MUSIC!!!! and we did that with 'the circle of life' from the lion king believe it or not. it was actually an amazing night. i didnt really feel nervous until right before we had to go on which was great as i somethimes get stage fright. i couldnt do dome of the moves so well cos of my back but i tried my best and we won- the first event in the 5 years that i have been there, so go astell. i felt really happy for the upper sixth astell girls, as although i may not like all of them, the look of pure happiness on their faces made me in turn really happy. i just hope we do this well again next year.

today i went to the knitting and stitching exhibition at alexandra palace with sahira georgina and her mum and it was a really cool day.� the hall may have been a bit hot and stuffy, funniest things was mums running around with babies strapped to their fronts and the obvious lack of men there. i bought quite a few things which always make me happy , when you go home and lay them all out and go 'ohhhhh it all pretty'� a bit like a 5 year old. took some pics that may help in my textiles work, i hope , but it was an overall good day x x x

I�really dislike people these days,

They�walk around and act so�gay!

Lately I've become so edgy,

That I've been acting out rather badly...

�____________

I�watch as he walks by,

Thinking that I would rather go hide...

Because he's still an ass,

With no class...

But who's to blame?

When he cant help but be so lame!

How long does one stay where they know they were not ment to be? How long does one go on missing the one who really loved them and protected them? How long does no trust in anyone last?

Ian sick of the girls fighting, over nothing. one want to be in control while the other wants to prove a point.

Colin off today. Colin got out of work really late.