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The friends thing really pisses me off...he always calls when he is really tired. like at around 11-12 O'clock. We hardly bloody talk

I understand that friends shouldn't be sleeping together but its like a bonus....i feel like a Doormat i'm no longer in Control. Its like all the arrangments are specifically made to tailor him.

He never picks up the phone when i call (he never has by the way...since day 1 whenever i call he hangs up and calls me back) These days i never get any call backs

He is a nice guy though...he has never insulted me, his one of those few classy guys.He is funny,intelligent,handsome and a good lover lets just say he is the whole package....if i dont get my act together another woman may claim what was once mine�

After� a month of� grief he came back to me...he sent me a message asking how i was going.....i replied and he called me.

My voice like ive been told is a "spell"� We talked and caught up about what happend. It was a nice feeling being with him again.He pleaded with me about us meeting he really wants a real relationship with me.

We came to an agreement...i would meet him on New years eve 2009. we� also agreed to be friends but we or should i say I keep crossing the line. I couldn't be just�friends with him so we decided to be "distant lovers"

Distant lovers- we could only talk once in a while not everyday (he is extra busy has work and Uni) , kissing and holding and phone sex is allowed, its sort of like friends with benefit

I din't like the new arrangment i wanted it to be like the old times,back in the day we used to talk at least 3 times a day and Every single night. I wanted that back but he couldnt give that to me because the last time he thought he did look where he ended up�...lets just say he thinks this sort of arrangment willl ensure that he doesn't get as hurt as he was last time.

Problems arose...i couldn't stop whining about the arrangment so for now we have decided to be friends(i rather keep in in mylife than loose him for good) although we sleep together on weekdays because he goes out on weekends.

I cant help but think its all my FAULT...i have such a great man but for some reason i just think im not good enough for him

I'm such a sad pathetic b!tch..i called him, i actually called him and i swore not to contact him

Eddy has two phones, i rang him twice on his virgin phone and once on his optus phone. I�rarely call him on his optus phone,he bought the virgin phone exlusively for us.

I'm so lonely without him but i'll learn to live without him� :)�I know i'm strong i can do this.� I'll not fool myself and say i don't need him bt in the long run i think i'm better of without him

I swear today on the 20th of April 2008 i will never Pick up the phone and dial Eddy's* number ever again. (Unless he reforms and treats me and values me as the number one priority in his life.....its ALL or nothing!!!!)

He told me he didn't feel the way he used to��he wanted something more than what i was giving him he wanted to�actually kiss me and hold me and touch me and make love to me. He wanted to hold my hand�all in all he wanted a PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP�......i kept pleading and crying but that was all useless...he left anyway.� I called him on his mobile but he had disconnected it...i didnt dare call him on his house phone(maybe once or twice i did....but i always hanged up)

I kept calling his mobile on hope that he may have reconnected it again...but all invein. I was very hurt. It was hard to sleep at night without him on the other side of the phone listening to my snore, i cried alot and lost 12 kilos in the process(at least thats the only good thing to come out of it....but eddy loved his women curvy, he loved ass the most)

I emailed him� just to let all my emotions out...no one knows about me and Eddy so it was really hard during my time of grief...i had absoutley no support from anyone but like they� say what doesn"t kill me only makes me stronger!

He honestly told me he� that he was at first �attracted to the fake myspace girl's looks but fell in love with�ME simply because of my personality... thankfully he forgave me.

My realtionship with Eddy for 19 months was nothing but emotional, we have never met� physically he doesnt even have a picture of what i look like. This took a toll on him and�he broke it off.

I refused to accept that...i actually stalked him!!! Calling him 5 times a day he never botherd to pick up my calls so that infuriated me even more. I recall calling his house phone once he picked up and quickly changed his accent and said "this is Eddy's dad Sorry he isnt home" The same thing kept happening whenever anyone picked up the phone....they always claimed he was out

Two weeks later he called we talked and out of nowhere he gave me a kiss. Turns out that was a one night stand!!� a friend of his texted me saying Eddy was confused when he came back to me.......like before i kept on fighting for our love to come back. The response not what i had excpected

Falling in love is not easy as i found out. I cant explain what we had lets just say it was magic.� I� think i kept picking fights with him just to test if what we had was solid as a brick,

We constantly had phone sex it was great....we are quite horny people.� He could make up a scene of what we would do to each other, his voice alone aroused me with my legs pressed hard together i'd listen�and then just cum. It was quite addictive he didnt enjoy it as much but he loved making me happy so he didn't mind doing it

None of us predictated that we would fall in love that hard.......something deep and dark constantly haunted me. I lied to Eddy about who i was

That gal on myspace was not me. She hardly looked like me. I felt so fuckin guilty one night when we were talking i just blurted it out. He was suprised(who wouldn't be!) and shocked. Eddy didn't see this one coming!

Well, im sick and i dont want to do anything right now. But im gonna say that i am on the cheerleading team and i am 12 years old. i am in sixth rade with the best friends youll ever know. im a rebellious little child that talks back to a fucked up teacher that i hate like hell. you knowid rather burn in hell then to be his student. screw him. Well enough said about that, umm i have a myspace at www.myspace.com/scuchi and ask me to be a friend if you like. im very nice and when i do something bad i get really cold. literally i do, i start to shiver and freak out then i cant think about anything but what i did. im not picky when it comes to friends. but if i hear shit about people talking about me behind my back, spreading rumors, gossiping, or saying im something im not ill kick your ass and if your bot sorry then, youll surly be the sorest. im pretty famous in my school for dyeing my hair orange and cutting it shorter than a dweeb. hmm, but i grew back. my fave colour is blue or green.�

The story of my life, isn't it?

Sigh. Homework all around. Want some?

And I STILL DON'T HAVE ECLISPE. Grr.

Frustrating, frustrating.

I have nothing to say except for IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE TO BOOK ECLIPSE, WOULD YOU POSSIBLY CONSIDER TELEPORTING IT TO ME?!

~Annabel

this weekend will be a weekend to heal from posion oake� with a sunburn on top to stress,i plan on cooking,do whatever housework i have to do,reading up lifting positive stuff,spend time in prayer,bible study, and relaxiation tequineques to feel better i know if i dont take care of myself no one will,and in order to serve the god i belive in i have to be well and happy,life here is not bad even with all i have been through and all of the obstacles aginst my secuss i am still alive and still choosing a positive way of life,if i have a choice and i do between down cast negative thoughts and positive thoughts i m choosing positive thoughts becuse i feel better,im finding that alot of the stress is self inflicted by worrying about what could happen and what i cnat change so today im gonna make myself deal with one problem at a time� write down ways and ideas to deal with what� ever my problem is go to god who will help me and take care of it my life isnt perfect but im tried of just making the best of it and just getting by i want a better life and more and in order to do that some changes,and some of them painful have to be made and it starts with my attitude and what i think,then what i expect to happen must be� i can no longer afford to expect diaster when i can expect something good,and watch and do my part to make the good things in life come who knows i may not be alive tommrow no one can predict that but i cna and will enjoy today anyway way that i can through good food good music enjoying the company of my cat what ever it takes to put a smile and just be happy