��������� On Tuesday, April 8th, 2008, my grandma passed away. She was in rehab and we all thought that she was getting better. Then over the weekend we found out that she had caught a disease and was in the hospital again. It was called C-def or something like that and it messed with her intestines. Also my parents told me that her pnemonia came back.
�������� Monday night� someone from the family called and said that her blood pressure had dropped dangerously low and they rushed to the hospital. Grandma had hit lows before and i hadn't worried much about her. My parents were there all night so i went to sleep. The next morning my dad called us into their room. My mom told me that my grandma had passed away. Her blood pressure had dropped so low that her heart finally stopped. I have never cried so hard in my entire life.
������ How could this have happened? The last time before she was in the hospital, she looked totally healthy. Our year revolves around her. Every holiday is spent with her. I can't imagine not seeing her up at the lake, or at christmas, or at easter. Next time mom doesn't know what to do she can't call her. Its almost surreal that she's gone. I'm going to miss her so much.
������It feels like someone has clawed at my heart. Just thinking about her makes my heart, and body feel like its being weighed down. I went to school today and i thought of her almost all day. Every one said i was sorry. I have no idea what to do with that. all i said was "i'm fine" and "it's ok". I didn't know what else to do. tomorrow is the wake and friday is the funeral. I have no idea how i'm going to deal. All i can think about is running. Its the one thing that i've done today thats made me feel GOOD. i'll probably run all weekend.
��� What makes it worse is that she hated all of it. I couldn't even go into see her the first month or so. I was scared. I had never seen grandma sick, and seeing her anything but healthy scared me to death. I thought that if i saw her really bad i would never have hope that she would get better. Finally when i saw her i�was not scared, but heartbroken, to see her that way. she deserved better. she was an amazing woman and didn't�deserve how to go through that. I hated how she was weak and� it hurt to see her that way. I might have been happier�if i had more time with her,�and i�would have been more than delighted for her to�not have gone in that�way. Hopefully the lord is treating her the way she deserves. I am going to miss her so much. that phrase is said�so many times, and until�you�have lost something, you never truely know how much�meaning�it really has. �
Hi there!
Not quite sure why I joined this website.... No offense, Inbox Journal! But I guess I just wanted a place where I could say what I wanted to without having to fear the wrath of either my fellow students or my familiars.�Not so easy a thing to do, when you're me.�
Hmm... where to start? I am not going to say how old I am, my name, or where I live (duh.), but you can call me... hmmm.... Annabel. Please refrain for leaving�disparaging comments, because I am very sensitive, no matter how indifferent I seem to be.
I have always been... different. Where everyone else would enjoy immense pleasure talking about the latest gossip and fashions, I would enjoy equal pleasure in discussing my latest favourite authour with fellow literary maniacs. I just can't seem to be like everyone else. And trust me, I've tried. And I'm not going to fly off here to say how incredibly special I am and that I will actually be the saviour of the world. I'm also not going to ramble off on an angsty tangent about how the whole world hates me. It doesn't hate me. We're just very different.
I have tried to like the things that you would expect me to, but I just can't. I cannot commmit myself to a life that revolves around those those things. I would be bored within a day, and then I would start sneaking off to my closet to read fantasy books in secret. (Which would of course create a whole separate gossip mill in my name.) Most people would pop in here, completely idealistic, and say that I'm allowed to be whoever I want and that the world can't stop me. I try my best. I really do. And most of the time I succeed. But sometimes I have to stop myself due to the looks I get. They make me feel so stupid sometimes. I know that�their opinions shouldn't matter to me. I try so hard to be strong. Sometimes, though, my shield just cracks and all their snide comments get through to me.
I will try not to be overly depressing (although I doubt that anyone will read this). I just can't say anything anywhere else because then I get either weird looks or laughed at. Not laughed at mockingly, but kind of like "Haha, you're so funny, Annabel, now say what you really do think." Which they expect to be exactly what THEY think. Which it isn't. I have a hard time saying what I think. I have a hard time backing up what I think. Mostly because I've never had enough self confidence to stand up to those in a different caste than me (you don't even understand the school-based caste system here.).
Hah. So much for not being depressing and angsty. I promise it won't happen again. Unless I am feeling particularly angsty that particular day.
Well, I am going to go now. I don't know who to address this to, seeing as I don't think that anyone will care about the moody ramblings and prose of a girl who has no one else to say this to.
Not expecting anyone to read this, or much less comment on it,
Annabel
大上海的下午茶
�
�� 清晨的大雾渐渐散去, 下午的阳光努力地穿过了大气层，我带着故意招惹春温(感冒)的敦敦出门透气. 走到浦东南路的Babela’s Kitchen, 经过两天高烧折磨的敦敦提议跟老妈小资一回，饮个下午茶。因为这间意式休闲餐厅内环境不错，我不置可否，娘俩进门落坐无烟区，环顾四周大部分的顾客是小白领，大下午的，敢在这消遣，胆子真够大的了，我跟敦敦慎重思考了半天也搞不懂自己应属于黄领还是绿领一族。反正打算做一次我们一般不做的事情，喝下午茶。
小姐很快送上柠檬水和餐牌，我们随便点了“甜蜜时刻”产品 （买一送一）。一盘田园沙拉和随送的一个清凉芒果冻布丁。芒果布丁细腻味正。田园沙拉新鲜爽口。不可思议地用8元钱买单。
服务小姐是东北人，听到我的东北口音就感到很亲切，主动走过来聊上几句。我这才明白为啥一顿下午茶只用八十大毛，正是因为有这群外地的年轻打工仔打工妹们在为大都市的繁荣鞠躬尽瘁。在城里打工的他们有机会看世界，学东西，也让我们有机会堂而皇之地享受大上海超便宜的服务。在香港和新加坡兜里揣着８块人民币等值货币连一杯廉价饮料都买不起，恐怕借你胆你也不敢走进任何一间食肆。
但是，倘若ＣＰＩ持续走高，恐这廉价下午茶的好梦就做不长了。
wat do u do wen da one u love and care about has left u for da one dey like n da person dey like is treatin dem wrong n u dnt kno how 2 tell dem cuz dey won't talk 2 u n u cant do nothing about it but cry 4 dem n u cuz u kno he has dne u da same way but u dnt want him 2 get hurt even doe he hurt u badly u still want da best 4 him no matta wat cuz u care about dem enuf 2 still love dem afta everything dey did 2 hurt u n make u feel i wish der was a way i cud tell him cuz its hurtin me more than wat he's dne 2 me cuz he shud b wit me cuz i love him and care about him deeply but i jus dnt kno how 2 tell him and now it mite b 2 late well it is kind of 2 late cuz im not wit him n he ignores me even doe he said he wud still tawk 2 me idk im jus real hurt rite now
So I'm really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really,really, really, really, REALLY freaking bored.� I'm sitting in my English class, waiting for the bell to ring because I've finished everything� had to work on. Its annoying because there is ten minutes of class left too. In this class I did some emailing, drawing, some more emailing, and searching pictures for goldfish.� Well...... I'm going to go and talk to some friends now.
Buh-bye!
}Y{- Nichelle
西湖龙井
� 突然收到老友由杭州快递来的茶, 老友电话里说, “我好不容易搞到些正宗明前西湖龙井，尝尝鲜吧？” 说心里话, 老朋友送给我们的岂止是茶, 他送给我们的这是我们在国外生活时无法想象的 ‘奢侈’.
� 清明节, 我和老公都斟上一杯这远道而来的情意, 慢慢地享受这色淡香浓的极品. 越品越有味. 谁说茶不 ‘醉’人? 人真是到了一定的年龄后才体会茶的美妙韵味。
� 中文‘茶’ 字很讲究, 人在草木中, 人是大自然的产物, 不能脱离自然环境. 茶是个非常中国的折中的饮品, 苦香甜涩的分子加起来除以二就是茶了。茶是爽头的饮品, 好朋友来访, 斟上一杯热茶, 可以聊上半天都不觉得累.
� 与茶相对应的 ‘可乐’是美国快餐文化的代表, 浓甜气盛, 很爽嘴也很不健康, 但迎合孩子和年轻人的口味. ‘可乐’ 这个名字也很实在地提醒人类热衷不检点行为的荒谬可笑, 美国人就是, 一边狂减肥, 一边狂饮可乐.
�� 不可否认, 在人类为健康奋斗的到道路上, 茶就有慢慢取代中国甚至世界可乐市场的历史使命. 诚然, 做文化校正谈何容易. 任重而道远, 茶将上下而求索..
I am grateful for awareness
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