my life is so messed up right now. i have lost pretty much all my friends. i have gotten closer to my cuz and some friends but thats about it. i bulit a wall between my mom and my sister. but i know either way my mom and sister will always be there no matter what. i am a different pereson and not very many people like that side. i need to change and become the person i used to be with her head held high. i very bright girl.� i have alot ahead of me in my future and right now its heading down a path that i might not be able to get out of. i need to get my life straight and figure somethings out in what i want in life.� i also have been heartbrkoen and it sucks. i wish i could go back and change the mistakes i made with him. i do still love him and i always will no matter what. he meant a lot to me even tho i never really met him or seen him. but now there is a new guy in my life and i really do like him. he is a lot older than me by 5 years here soon 4. but i don't care. age is nothin but a number.� he is a really nice guy and he makes me happy. i always smile when i'm around him and i never want that to change.� he makes me see the world differently. idk what will happen with us. maybe we wil just stay friends and never date or maybe we will date for awhile. idk but whatever it is i will have to live with it.
At times, I sit alone and think about my past and how i have treated people. A moment in time can be only be for that moment, there is no way you can change it but to do it the rigtht way! "Treat others how you want to be treated," Jorge's voice replays in my head reminding me that I am Selfish. Am i really? Do i only think of about my needs and not others? I was told this by my boyfriend and my sibilings.�The people that are closest to me recognize that Im just another one of the evil step sisters. (so to speak) I feel like my attitude towards others needs to do a complete 360. Maybe I wouldnt think so negative anymore, I suppose emotions are based off of my actions and my actions are what people think of me day�to day. at work, people might think Im a stuck up individual. I keep to myself because im afraid of what one might think of me, if i say something wrong, look at them in a wierd way. Me of all people hate to be judged! The positive way to look at it would be just being independent and looking after myself. I think i might have taken that concept and put a whole new twist on it. I really need to think for others more, The quote of the day reads, ""Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it."�I feel like this applies to me in so many ways. At the times where im am cold and careless, that is when i need attention the most. I use being selfish as a shield for protection. Protection from getting hurt by the ones that are close to me. Brother, sisters, mother, father and boyfriend. The list of names have all let me down one way or another. The emotion of selfish protects me from thinkin me about others feelings. It protects me to feel whenever I am let down so i will then only concentrate on my feelings and the important things i need to make me happy. Cold, careless, nonchalantly acts from me, that is definitely a sign of me screaming for a hug, kiss or simply someone to just say Hi Jenee! Why am i this way? TO protect myself from any harm or let down! I guess i just need to learn a different method! where to begin?
Im here im back home the day i never planned. I dreaded this day and now its finally here well i've been here for like 2 weeks now.� Were still getting settled in, not use to all this it's gonna take some time getting use to. Im so what's the word im looking for no not lazy (even though that is true) unorganized maybe who knows never ready thats for sure.� I can't stand it im always looking for something or i dont know but nothing ever seems to go smooth not w/me that is.
Frankie she's what it is that is giving me a headache but its gettiing better.� At first OMG! she was driving me nuts.� I couldnt' take it but she's better now learning how to be a normal child and occupy herself by herself even though she LOVES attention from anyone.� My poor baby sometimes i'm a bit mean to her but i can't help it the shit she does gets to me and i have no patients.�� My mom says we can see who's gonna be the blacksheep and other bullshit that gets to me.� But i try to just ignore it cause she dont know shit but ugh sometimes i can't.� Its nonsense and where does she get it from please now if she really believes it then she really gots issues bigger than i thought.
The girls they haven't been a problem besides there so freakin dirty it makes me sick but it's my fault because i am the mother but come on.� they dont pay attention worth nothing and they can't follow orders what's up with that.� They seem to go in the zone still that annoys me so much. there back in school so thats good.
i GOT to go to bed frankies got a doctors appt. in the mornig more shots i think.� I need to make me an appt. while im at it all kinds of shit wrong w/me but whats new.
Uh oh it missed a day but it caught itelf
sick as a chip is the expresion that comes to mind today in more than one way first as in ill sick and second as in just sick of beeing stuck at home with no company other than the dog if she could talk she could tell you a few tales� ah well back to the bordom see ya later
I'm so glad gaia showed me this website its kewl.
城堡, 湖水和风笛
�
�� 苏格兰之行印象最深的是古城堡的庄严和尼斯湖的壮美.
�� 现代人用一辈子来追名逐利, 想千古流 ‘名’, 比较轻飘. 古代的王室明知死后并不能把石头砌成的巨型城堡带入棺材, 还会用几代人的权力地位和财富打造出自己心中美丽的城堡留给后人, 千古流 ‘城’. 这种追求比较厚重实在一些. 爱丁堡城堡和斯得灵城堡确实能勾住全球游客的魂. 因为大家都惦着查尔斯N世没准会突有兴致邀自己喝上一杯咖啡. 若瞥见安公主跟仆人儿子幽会的场面, 那也算没白来一趟.
�� 观完城堡我们走进王子大道的地下过去穷人居住的多层地窖, 那才真叫暗无天日的旧社会. 穷人到城里闯世界不得不选择在肮脏污秽的街道旁挣命, 在狭窄无光的洞穴里栖息. 石窖里还有上下几重天. 学社会学的人若有机会走在一个个下窖的台阶上就很容易弄明白阶级阶层是咋回事.
� 当我站在尼斯湖边上极目远望山树云水的尽头, 竟不由自主地产生幻觉, 我们一家跟 ‘水怪’ 共进午餐, 谈当今世界局势, 包括油价飙升和美国经济下滑对世界的影响, 顺便告诉 ‘它’ 北京奥运的消息. ‘它’ 在冰冷的湖水里浸泡万年, 那小脑袋一定十分之清醒, 说不定会给人类提个建议啥的.
�� 尼斯湖水怪是个随时间沉淀下来的 ‘谜’, 人的视力有限, 远距离观看任何东西, 都看不太清楚, 对任何照片有权做无数的猜测和遐想. 信不信由你, 当你远距离地看你自己时, 你都难免会有似曾相识之感. 人类愿意用 ‘怪’ 字来概括自己不了解的东西. 当 ‘怪’ 在水中出没就更增加了 ‘怪’ 的美感, 对 ‘水怪’ 的各种解释借着水的灵性变得更加扑朔迷离. ‘怪’成就了尼斯湖的人气, 大部分人在心理上怕 ‘妖’ 但并不十分讨厌 ‘怪’.
� ��走在王子大道上被一个十几岁的小男孩吸引, 他身着传统服装在街边吹起了苏格兰风笛, 小脸白里透红, 凄厉的笛声很沁人的心, 让阴霾的空气充满苍凉和悲壮. 设想当年的苏格兰勇士站在城堡废墟的顶端朝着一望无际的湖水吹奏这音乐时, 湖中大怪小妖都会被感动, 承认华莱士更刚强, 更有血性.
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it:
More like feeling gratitude and expressing it is...like giving them the gift and they not accepting it....
Guess I should go make someone angry today so that I can destroy them later on...
When your child misbehaves always remember ' what gives you the power to win these battles of will is your ability to maintain control over your emotions while your children lose control of theirs.'
Add comment
