Do i have B O or bad breath well no but you would think i have when my son comes home he cant wait to get away form me .First thing in the morrning he gets up washed dressed and out he goes he cant wait to get away .today he went to his nana's house and as soon as i walked in the door he got up and went upstairs then he said i'm going to the shops and then phoned his nana not me to say tell me mam i'm going to call for me girlfriend .I know he does't mean to hurt me but that realy did . I think i must have grown horns overnight and yes i do feel excluded from his life and it's not a good feeling we have always been realy close went every where together talked and had a laugh but now i'm just left here with no involvment in his life other than to cook and wash his clothes and put a roof over his head and i feel sad lonley and redundant.
I have lost someone very close to me she was a student and a friend. I know that she is in a better place but it still hurts to think that she went before her time. I feel lost knowing that I can never talk to her again, Laugh with her when she comes up with a prank and talks me into helping her.....this next year will be the hardest one for me because she will be gone.�I live each day not knowing what to expect but then again I can't live like this forever....soon the pain will stop I just don't know when.
well im back again the bordom is getting too much for me to stand .now my son has a girlfriend i never see him he comes home at night has supper goes on the internet to talk to the girlfriend that he has spent all day with dont know what they have to say after beeing out together all day .ah well thats life kids grow up move on and parents have to take a back seat .he's nearly 15 but you would think he's going on 40 personaly i think he's too young for a girlfriend but you know what they are like the more you say dont do it the more they will so i have decided to let him get�on with it . kids have to grow up some time i never knew how fast that would be you blink and they are not babys any more there adults with there own life and a better social life than me but never mind you cant fight the tide and you cant turn back the clock no matter how hard you try .god i feel old�
�
Dear Journal,
Ohhh Babyyy it's been a long day. I was supposed to hang out with caitlin but, she ditched me to hang out with her friend Emily. So, I went to hang out with my friend Treva. It was so much fun lol. We took pictures, we made a video, and played tennis. Lemme tell you a little but about our day, We went to our school's tennis court at our school and we had the middle court. On the left was a teenager practcing with her coach. On the right there was 2 elder people and i think one of them was a coach. So as me and treva played this man that looked like a stalker kept smiling at me and treva so we started cracking up laughing. And so he kept getting our balls and i just couldnt help but laugh he was standing there like lol idk it was just SO WEIRD. So after a couple of minutes we noticed it was the teenagers dad so we just started laughing. So the elder people on the right of us moved to the left court as the coach left. The lady comes over to me and says 'Sweetie i think you should get lessons .... you have alot of bad habits and i mean alot' so i looked at her like... wtf? and im like uhm we play for fun we're not on a tennis team... we do it for exercise and fun' so this lady was like ohhh thats okay? like she was technically saying i was horrible. So the coach walks over to my friend and says heres my card. They thought we were horrible and we just looked at each other like WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.�So yeah i went home around 6 and i came home and guess who was there my aunt and little cousin. I mean i love them but they are SO annoying especially my cousin man. She is so annoying for a 2 year old. So, caitlin called me to hangout and im like i cant mom said no and omg if you say no she asks all these questions like why? you were over trevas? blah blah blah. And i was like whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah tomorrow i might hangout with Treva again after church. =]
peace&love
�Dear Journal,
�Today was pretty good other than my mom pmsing on what I should wear to her job. I mean oh my god she was screaming like fuck. She's like 'Briana you look so raggedy with those shorts and tanktop your gonna wear a skirt' So she made me wear a skirt and a plain white tank wasnt really my style. It looked good but, it wasnt my style dude. Anyways I went to my moms job for 4 hours it was pretty boring. There's this really hot guy in her job who gave me candy teeheee =] But anyways me and my sister want to go to a concert with the veronicas playing. IM SO SICKEDD MANN!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!! lol so yeah, I mean im really happy and excited. Im getting a new haircut style next year cant wait<3 LOL i've noticed that im being really random. Yeah, so uhmm.. im bored and im watching CSI:Miami and this girl just got shot and it scared the shit out of me. Yeah, tomorrow im hanging out with Caitlin hopefully to take pics for myspace. LMFAO THE GUY FROM CSI:MIAMI WAS LIKE BURN BABY BURN! lol sorry. My cat was acting so hyper before we were playing murderer dont ask it's our little game. He's laying down and staring at me and i wanna eat him right now he's SO cute. DAMN IM BEING RANDOM AGAIN. Yeah, so..... tomorrow i hope i go to the city to get an ed hardy shirt.
July 24, 2008
I'm not sure if I had mentioned this in an ealier journal entry but after my first traveling gig with JGRS I told one of the guys that I was going to have to give up on my dream to be a rock star!� Living out of hotels and the demanding work schedule (up before the crack of dawn and up late at night) was tough for me.� But now I am sure I have to give up on the dream.� The road crew purchased a video game called "rock band" and it is all the rage.� So we got together one night to play it.� Well as you can all guess I was horrible at singing, not so good at the guitar and the drums....well I had to have 2 others help me out with that!� Music just is not my bag.� I have played rock band again and have discovered that I am not to bad at the bass guitar...maybe there is hope.� For now though I will�keep my attempts at making music to kareoke in the privacy of my car.� When I told Chris I was giving up on the rock star dream he asked what I would do now...I told him I wanted to be a princess now.
You would think everyday of someones life has some kind of order. Some kind of organization, and usually mine does. But lately I have realized that living a life of routines and constant organization isnt always good. I need to break free and leave the old me behind. Im tired of being compared to as perfect girl who doesn't do anything adventureous and who is just so predictable and ordinary. Ordinary is not the word I want to be labeled as. So many things in my life have come to me by suprise and I see others that carry randomness and uniqueness within them. But now its time for me to go at the world in a whole new perspective, its my turn to suprise others and myself. Show that I can be more than what i portray. Sooner or later, I will be noticed and seen as that girl that everyone wants to know how she got where she is now. I want to be, I can be, and I will be unique(:
�� Dear Journal,
�Todays been better i havent been thinking about yesterday thank god lol. My mom is bringing us to disney August 10th. Hopefully i wont get my period like I did last time when we went to Las Vegas=[. But, yeah Caitlin came over today and we made videos which didnt turn out to good lol. We pranked a few people which was SO FUNNY. Im really hungry right now lol im in the mood for greek salad!!!! I feel like dancing and screaming i have no idea�why�lol. Cant believe summer vacation is going by so fast. Tonight I have to sleep in my hot room sadly. I slept with my sister the past two days shockingly. Shes always being a queen bee and acting like she's Miss Universe. Yeah but i hate the darkness it's weird. I go to bed so late cause im afraid of sleeping by myself and having nightmares after nightmares=[ but, my mom thinks im crazy or psycho but im not. lol my sister petting my cat right now hopefully she doesnt see me. Yeahh i gotta go butt i'll check in laterr !
Loveeeeeeeeeeee
BRIANAA <3
XxveryhappymaggotxX 33, Female, Louisiana, USA - First entry!
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