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    China  31, Female, Tennessee, USA - 7 entries
Apr 2008
9:12 PM CST


i think its kind of crazy when you give your all into something´┐Ż and it still don't come out right. its just like baking a cake you follow all the directions and still don't come out right. so i guess you can say relationships and baking are some what alike but i find it kind of crazy and a little unfair when somebody give there all to try to be with someone and try to love them but after awhile they don't love you back. but how come when most people do very little to be with someone and do them wrong but still end up with them. its not fair the one's that want to do right and doing right always be the one that get hurt in the end but the one that always mess up still get that person but don't treat them right and tat person is so blind that they don't see what's real and what's not. i wish i knew the answer to this.

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Current Tags: heartbroken, sad, unfair

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    RollerCoasterLove  39, Female, California, USA - 2 entries
Aug 2007
4:12 PM EDT

Sometimes i just dont understand what ive done wrong. one day he acts like he loves me, the next he acts like i annoy him. im trying to become a better girlfriend, but hes not trying to be a better boyfriend. it doesnt help that all his friends are younger and more immature and dont have serious girlfriends to understand his situation. i think when he gets around them, he changes. into this "single" guy who doesnt give a fuck about me. im always tryna talk about our problems and tryna resolve it, but just randomly outta nowhere hell make it seem like he dont wanna try. when just yesterday he told me "i love you" "i miss you" "im thinking about you". and today i say "am i ur girlfriend" and he tells me "not really." and i say ur throwing me off telling me u love me one day and the next im not ur girlfriend. and he tells me "u threw me off when you moved out". is he tryna make me feel guilty? is he having money issues? financial problems stressing him out? and he blames me? i wanna work things out but how can i with someone whos not willing to try...instead i think to myself why dont i just walk away from all of this. just say fuck him and end it all for good... one day were okay. the next it seems like its all over. its this up and down roller coaster. ive try to change.. ive been making him dinner, avoiding issues i would usually argue about that upsets me... but i guess he doesnt see it. hes too stubborn to see where im coming from.. i kno theres a lot hes done, or hasnt done,to upset me, but im tryna see from his point of view and quitting all the "nagging", the fighting, the arguing.. im tryna do things for him to remember why he fell for me. but with him.. he just doesnt see me as something fortunate to have.. what do i do? i love him.. i dont want all this to end.. i just want everything to be okay again
1 comment(s) - 11:09 AM - 09/19/2012
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Current Tags: betrayed, boyfriend, confused, cry, girlfriend, heartbreak, hurt, lonely, lost, love, sad, tears, upset

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    Nobuta  34, Female, Nevada, USA - First entry!
Jun 2007
12:36 AM EDT

So summer vacations started. At first they were good. I was going out very often. Hanging out here and there with friends. But now, about 10 days later, or maybe less, everything is going downhill. So fast ! I've been staying home lately, and very bored. But I guess I should talk about "today" (I mean, it is about 1:18 AM right now). I woke up hoping that something would happen today. Hoping to go out and finally fix my hair and wear make-up after about 3 days of not going out (and yes, I've been showering). Well, I cleaned my room and watched the movie "Babel" with my mom and dad. I shed a few tears because of the story, but I found it interesting. And ofcourse, a wide smile would appear on my face as I watched the scenes in Japan. Afterwards, I ate and tried to download a Japanese drama I am currently watching: "Nobuta wo Produce". My computer was too slow, I was disappointed, so I stopped trying to download it. What I did for the rest of the day ? Stay online some more, play video games, text, eat, and play an old gameboy game. So boring ! My "best friend" called me and asked me to hang out. Better than doing nothing... so I asked my mom to let me go. She didn't let me and she started talking about how late I always come home and how my dad never complains to me about it because he knows I have a bad temper. So we got into an arguement about how I never ask for anything from them. When I was in school, I never asked to go out unless it was the weekends. Sometimes I wouldn't go out for weeks, actually. Ah~ ! So I stayed home. I finished downloading Episode 6 of "Nobuta wo Produce" and for some reason that show always makes my eyes tear up. I love that show. I learn so much from it yet it's impossible to try and accomplish happiness like it teaches me. Then I realize that not everything can be like a Japanese drama. Guys herearen't that good looking and people aren't all that respectful, etc. I just want a job so badly so that I can get out. Being home isn't nice and all I do is sit here and gain weight =/ When I want to go out early my parents say "It's too hot outside !" When the sun is going down "It's too late ! Why do you always go out so late !?" It's frustrating. Then they say "Be active ! The day is so nice ! Do something !" when I stay home too much. Bleh~ I hate venting, but with things such as these happening, who wouldn't ?

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Current Tags: Boring, Nobuta wo Produce, Sad

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