I Want What They Have

 
    
23
Jun 2008
11:40 AM CDT
   

I Love U Enuf

!TS B@D ENUF ! H@VE MY OWN F@M!LY @G@!NST ME BUT 2 H@VE D@ 1 ! TRULY LOVE AND C@RE @BOUT DOUBT!NG MY LOVE 4 H!M !S D@ WORST FEEL!NG ! CULD FEEL R!TE NOW. KIND OF CR@ZY 2 S@Y BUT ! R@THER WORK OUT TH!NGS W!T D@ 1 ! LOVE DEN 2 KEEP ON TRY!NG 2 PLE@SSE D@ 1'S D@T RE@LLY DNT C@RE. !T HURTS ME 2 TELL H!M ! LOVE H!M BUT ! CNT RE@LLY PROVE !T CUZ ! CNT RE@LLY C H!M ND !T HURTS ME 2 HE@R H!M OR EVEN C H!M UNH@PPY. HE JUS DNT KNW ! WULD DO N E TH!NG 2 M@KE H!M H@PPY ND 2 SHOW H!M ! RE@LLY LOVE H!M SO HE C@N STOP DOUBTING ME EVRYT!ME ! DNT REMEMBER 2 S@Y ! LOVE U OR ! DNT C@L ON T!ME OR ! DNT @NSWER ON T!ME. !TS NOT L!KE ! 4GET 2 S@Y ! JUS @!NT GOT COMFORT@BLE W!T S@Y!N !T YET CUZ ! DNT W@NN@ OVER USE !T OR USE !T @ D@ WRONG T!ME ND !T M@KES H!M EXPLODE OR GET UPSET. !DK ! GUESS !M JUS SC@RED OF GETT!N 2 CLOSE W!T SUM1 @G@!N BUT ! FEEL D@T D!S !S D!FFERENT ND ! W@NN@ KEEP BEL!EVE!NG !T. BUT ! F!N@LLY RE@L!ZED D@T !TS NOT @ CURSE D@T KEEPS H@PP!NESS 4RM B3!N MY FR!END...!TS MY F@M!LY ND D@TS FUCKD WEN PPL JUS H@VE HELL EVRY ONCE !N @WH!LE OR ON CERT@!N D@YS BUT NOT ME ! H@VE HELL EVERYD@Y ND D@TS !F !M NOT ON D@ PHNE W!T MY LOVE. MY LOVE !S @M@Z!NG HE M@KES ME FEEL L!KE ! H@VE LESS WORR!ES. D@TS Y ! LOVE MY LOVE.

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Current Tags: BETRAYED, UPSET

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01
May 2008
9:39 PM CDT
   

Questions

idk wat 2 do. its like i can't get ova him no matta how hard i try. sumtimes i feel like i wana cry about it but mi emotional engine won't let me i guess its tryn 2 tel me dat cryn ova him nd about da situation ain't gne make it betta but i stil dnt kno wat else 2 do cuz i stil have feelns 4 him n their da kind u have 4 sum1 wen ur n a relationship wit sum1. i neva told him or anyone but i did love him nd i stil do n i think dats 1 reason i can't get ova him cuz b4 i met him i waz lukn 4 sum1 2 love n care about nd have dem care about me bak n he showd dat. he did but sumtimes wen i think about it i keep questioning miself did he really care or wuz it all a lie..It seems like he knew wat i waz goin through nd exactly wat 2 do 2 bring me back dwn nd knew if he did it long enuf it wuld take me 4eva 2 get over it cuz i been wantin it 4 so long n 2 bad..well i dk how he did but he did he knew dat i wantd 4 sum1 2 care 4 me n give me dat comfort i waz lukn 4.I feel kind of dumb cuz i fell 4 it nd now i can't even stop thinkin about him 4 dat long its like evrytime i dnt think about him i jus want him more nd i miss him more nd i realize how much i really did love him nd cared 4 him.I neva knew dat mi feelns 4 him or anybody culd b diz deep.Their so deep dat it got me 2 scared 2 try anotha relationship cuz i got dat fear again nd its deeper than b4.I wish der wuz a way i culd get ova him but i guess dere isnt unless he.........idk...im tryn 2 b strong but all i wanna do is cry nd i still have dat letter i wrote him nd sumtimes i read it 2 remind miself y i wanna cry nd y i still think about him........so what do i do? i guess we'll neva b.....
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Current Tags: heartbroken, hurt, stuck

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08
Apr 2008
6:34 PM CDT
   

Hurt

wat do u do wen da one u love and care about has left u for da one dey like n da person dey like is treatin dem wrong n u dnt kno how 2 tell dem cuz dey won't talk 2 u n u cant do nothing about it but cry 4 dem n u cuz u kno he has dne u da same way but u dnt want him 2 get hurt even doe he hurt u badly u still want da best 4 him no matta wat cuz u care about dem enuf 2 still love dem afta everything dey did 2 hurt u n make u feel i wish der was a way i cud tell him cuz its hurtin me more than wat he's dne 2 me cuz he shud b wit me cuz i love him and care about him deeply but i jus dnt kno how 2 tell him and now it mite b 2 late well it is kind of 2 late cuz im not wit him n he ignores me even doe he said he wud still tawk 2 me idk im jus real hurt rite now

Tags: afraid, hurt
2 comment(s) - 04:50 PM - 04/09/2008
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Current Tags: afraid, hurt

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07
Apr 2008
9:32 PM CST
   

Afraid

i don't understand, they say never leave the one you love for the one you like but what if the one you love is leaving you for the one they like and you can't do nothing about it but cry. u know he's not coming back but u still wanna think that cause u love him u dnt kno y u love him all u kno is u love him no matta what but he dnt kno dat cause u were 2 afraid in da beginnig 2 admit how u really felt about him and now u think this culd b the end of wat ya'll had and u wanna let him kno how u felt all along but ur still afraid cuz ur thinking "either way it goes i still want have him like i thought i did" but u love him and u wanna b wit him u jus dnt want everybody 2 c dat u still want him cuz now ur afraid of wat dey mite say n u dnt have him der 2 tell u dnt worry about wat dey tawkn about u still mine. so where do u go 4rm here u wrote him a letter expression how u felt and feel but u dnt kno how 2 give him da letter without showing emotions and ur still havin 2nd thoughts about it "if i give him diz letter he still gne wanna b with her so im jus wastn mi time" dats all dats goin through ur mind everytime u think about him or da letter
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Current Tags: confused, helpless

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07
Apr 2008
9:12 PM CST
   

Unfair

i think its kind of crazy when you give your all into something� and it still don't come out right. its just like baking a cake you follow all the directions and still don't come out right. so i guess you can say relationships and baking are some what alike but i find it kind of crazy and a little unfair when somebody give there all to try to be with someone and try to love them but after awhile they don't love you back. but how come when most people do very little to be with someone and do them wrong but still end up with them. its not fair the one's that want to do right and doing right always be the one that get hurt in the end but the one that always mess up still get that person but don't treat them right and tat person is so blind that they don't see what's real and what's not. i wish i knew the answer to this.

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Current Tags: heartbroken, sad, unfair

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