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Life is hard. very hard. Especially when you don't know what you're doing. There's always seems to be a problem, anything. always seems to frustrate a lot. but hey, this is life. You will have to go through these stuff, that's is what you call a life. Life isn't always easy, only sometimes. But God can make your life better, just Pray...

DC

When your child misbehaves always remember ' what gives you the power to win these battles of will is your ability to maintain control over your emotions while your children lose control of theirs.'

Hello my name is Polina and i guess i decided to folloe throught this thing two years later hahaha i love that every time i check my email there would be new messages every day replying back to my little journall and at first i ignored them but then i started to read the responses and they actually were pretty amazing i almost thought it was a computer writing them! i hope not  at least! Well from 2005 alot has happened i matured alot and i think i actually found my self alot of people tell me i am way to mature for my age but barerly thew people actually know my age since i was born in europe i dont like the states very much they say its a free country but i think its anything but free basically all my friends in europe dont have curfews drinking limits or ids and they are all perfrctly fine and here in the states my friends have all that and they very drunk and stuoid all the time i guess its called a sense of rebelleiust liosm and i used to be like that and i actually changed at a very young age where most people start! and i am very proud of my self!Lets go back acouple of years when i first posted thid thing i was all about fitting in being popular and shit like that and guess what its not the best thing for you my fresh men year i hated so i transfered into independant studies and out  of nowhere i got all these friends that people in my grade looked up to and they all wanted to be my friends and guess what the people that i used to be wanting to be friends with so bad dint even matter any  more i just loved the friends that i had at the moment but more than half of them became back stabbers all the sudden i realized what it was like to have alot of friends in the states and it was not a good experience!

People are just soo jealouse and i always had to step down let my girl friends have the guy  so there wont be any tention! Now my best friends name is steven and i love to hang  out with him i guess i became thats oc party girl but im more that just that and sometime my friends wonder why i hang out with steven and honestly its because i am sooo sick of o.c califronia i love right by the beach a block away i have all the friends i ever wanted i get invited to alot of parties and now i barerly go to any of them orange county is fake most of my friends are fake i want to go back to europe i can not stand haning aroung people my age they are wayy to immature and i cant satnd going to stupid parties where every one lives of denial of the future and just parties and does drugs maybe thats why i have a fake or maybe its because where i was born and i thought my self at a very young age how to be responsible

Today is a nice day to get hired with a company.

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It's been a little but since the last that I've written. Life is a lot easier right now. I guess that Christy and I are back together for now. I know that it's the wrong thing for me to still be with her, but I am so addicted to her. And yes a little in love too.

She wants to keep sleeping with other people, but be with me. That's going to be hard to get used too. I am always wondering who she is with when I am not around. It's not as bad as not being with her, but it's still pretty hard.

It's only a matter of time before she leaves again, so I had better have fun while I can.

Choice of -gram cracker crust

store bought, homemade, whatever

1/2 c whipping cream

1- 8oz pkg cream cheese

1/2c sugar

2T dark rum or orange juice

1T vanilla

1/4 tsp almont extract

~combine and mix until smooth

pour into crust, chill 3-4 hrs

***********************************************

2 medium peaches, nectarines or any stone fruit thinly sliced

2T lemon juice

1/2c fresh rasperries, blueberries or any other small round berry

1/4c favorite preserves+2 T honey

Arrange sliced fruit on top of chilled cream filling.

Decorate with berries and drizzle mixed preserves on top of everything.