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American Stone Construction and Design, 4950 N. Elson, Chicago, Il. 60630.  Owner is Marcel Somfelean. On Nov. 19, 2007 I signed a contract with the above company for 4 floor and 4 wall cabinets.  I gave them a deposit of $975.00 and the balance was $975.00  The delivery date would be before Dec. 25th.  Between Dec. 26 and Jan. 9, 2008 several appointments were made to deliver cabinets but they were all a no show.  So on Jan. l0, 2008 I filed a complaint at small claims court against the company for $975.00.   On Jan. l2 I was notified the cabinets would be delivered in l0 minutes.  There were several discrepancies with the cabinets when the drivers came and Mr. Somfelean agreed to reduce balance to $600.00.  So I gave drivers a check for $600.00.

On Jan. 30, 2008 I found out that the cabinets I received were from Smart Company  and not from Armstrong Co.  Also Smart Co. was not producing the cabinets I received anymore.  The style and the stain of the cabinets I received were not the ones I ordered.  So I decided to go ahead and sue Mr. Somfelean for $975.00  The circuit court date was April 23rd.  On this date both Mr. Somfelean and I appeared in court.  The judge made a judgment for me for $350.00 plus court cost.  But Mr. Somfelean just walked out of court and didn't pay me.  I filed a citation notice but  it was not delivered as the company went out of business.    Maxine Jaffee

When someone let's you down, it's the worst feeling on earth.

When you're reminded of it, that's just like dying.

Why? ..Most of us want to know why that person did such a thing to us. Simple. Out of sight is truly out of mind. The easiest thing for a person that's embaressed or ashamed, or one that has a very low self-esteem is to exit. "Escapism". So they turn their back on the mess they made, and just walk away.

Where's Karma? Where's the Universal Law? Where's the Law and the Prophets? I guess I'll never know.

There's a lot I'll never know. It's not like you get to sit back and watch the movie. You kind of have to deal with it as it happens... to you.

Right now, I'm sitting in my ex's house with his parents and brother. I know why I'm here, it's to keep me sane and to maybe get some sleep for the first time all week. The problem is that while I'm sitting here, I'm trying to work, but all the while, I'm wishing he was here. I say I don't believe in love...and at this point I don't, but when I was with him I knew it existed. I can't believe that I was able to feel something so strong that it changed my life. To feel something like that is unbelievable, but to lose it is unbearable. I'm sleeping in the bed that we shared and it's just not going to be the same without him next to me. I do miss him and I do still have him in my damn, good ole heart.

It is important for me to find out who I am and how I have become that person. I know that I have had some major life experiences that went very badly. They have and continue to effect every aspect of my life. I have found that I can not change the past and I can't decide on the future. The only things that I can work on and mold and create is the now. I want to find people that have interests similar to mine and work on these things together. I want to learn to put aside all influences from my past, from the people who have molded me into the person I am, and people around me. I want to figure out how much of the time I spend doing things is wasted time because of habit and influence or time spent on things I have chosen. I want to keep the positive but along with the positive I have had a lot of negative. I want to know how much I have gained from these experiences.so for now, I don't want any influence on my life. I want to be the one making the choices from now on.

So i've signed up for another journal/blog/diary thing. I could've used my old account in livejournal but i feel that it's time for something new. Welcome to inboxjournal.. lol.

Right now, i'm looking for employment again. It frustrates me now how I can't seem to stay in any job. Ever since I've moved to toronto about 4 months ago, i've worked these stupid jobs such as telemarketing, telephone surveying (at 3 different places), customer service at a photograhy establishment, and inbound call centre. since i'm such a picky little twit, none of these jobs ever worked out for me because i'm always finding something wrong with every job. what the hell can i do now?? i'm not getting any luck so far. I'm still waiting to really find the perfect job.

I've been staying up really late recently. i shouldn't keep doing this. Must... get... back... to............. normal.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!  Another year,  THANK YOU GOD, for this year.  I can't believe I have  lived 3 years longer than my first husband.  He died when he was 30.  Sometimes I miss him so much still, which is wierd becaues I am remarried. 

Cory is gone, out of town working,,, weeks of no husband SUCKS!  So, thankfully I have a great mom, who lives close enough to surprise me.,, She brought me starbucks, flowers and donuts to my at work, and then took us out to supper,,,and even brought a lil' carrot cake to supper.  I love my mommy! 

THANK YOU LORD!

Everything eventually falls into place

but it always ends up falling out of place.
i'm happy.
theres nothing really wrong with my life.
i love it.
but theres people trying to ruin that.
people that know me from last year that don't know that i've changed.
and fuck you if you dont think people change.
i wanted to and i did.
i just happened to ruin my rep in the mean while.
and now to them... i'm a cheater.
a bad friend.
a bad girlfriend.
a lier a user.
a whore a slut fuck.
i don't even know.
they don't know me.
so i guess it doesn't really bother me.
but hes starting to believe them.
what the fuck is their problem.
i messed up.
and thats going to be hung over my head forever? i changed.
i'm not the same girl i was last year.
and if you don't know that.
then your obviously one of the people i stopped talking to i let go of a lot of friends last year.
i pushed them away.
but they were just dragging me down.
i'm sorry if i hurt you.
but don't try to hurt me back.
wat kind of revenge do you want.
those who know me even a little know my weaknesses.
and now they're using it against me.
stop trying to get me.
what good is it to you if i'm miserable? what do you have against me? wat exactly did i do to you? i'm sorry.
but fuck you.
i'm about to break.
this is exactly why what happened last year happened.
i'm done with all this bullshit drama.
and i'm done with anyone that doesn't know me and still talks shit.
fuck you.