view member journals

Hey everyone, it's me, Sunlight! ^_^ except i'm nawt alone today... my friend and Sis Cici the hedgehog!! <3 Cici: hey everyone! what's up? It's yer girrrrrrl... Cici in da HOOOOOOOOOOUSE! X3 go on wit' your bad self.

well... now that THAT'S out of my system... let's get on to buzzzinass... lol that sound funneh XD um... me and Fury are NO LONGER together >.> i got Amy and Shaddie-kun (Shadow) together <3 and Sonic... well... he's SONIC X333 um.. Rouge and Knuckles are doin' well... they figured a way to balance de skool thang and ze babii thang out purrfectly ^_^ i'm so happy for them...

ps: the title is part of the song "What Hurts The Most" by Cascada

i can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

i can take a few tears now and then and just let'em out

i'm not a-afraid to cry every once in a while (cause that's not what gets me)

there are days every now and again that i pretend i'm ok

but that's not what gets me

what hurts the most was being soo close

having so much to say & watchin' you walk away

never knooowin' what could have been... not seeing that and lovin' you is what i was trying to do

it's hard to deal with the pain of loosing you every where i go

but i'm doing it

it's hard to force that smile when i see you're old friend and i'm alone

it's still harder...

getting up getting dressed living with regret

but i know if i could do it over

i would change all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken

what hurts the most was being soo close

having so much to say and watchin' you walk away

never knooowing what could have been not seein' that and lovin' you is what i was tryin' to do (Oh woah! heeeey yeah!)

i'm not a-afraid to cry every once in a while even though goin' on with you boy still upsets me there are days every now and again i pretend i'm ok

but that's not what gets me...

what hurts the most was bein' soo close

having so much to say & watchin' you walk away

never knoooowin' what could have been not seein' that and lovin' you is what i was trying to do...

i'm very sad as you can see... well, journal and people out there... i'll see ya around... whenever.

Forever and always, ~Sunlight <3 

If only I could limit my fear of making monthly bills (short term) and becoming destitute (long term) to this one post. In fact, it preoccupies my life. I wake up at 5:30 figuring out ways to cut our costs. I worry about calling the plumber to fix the kitchen drain because of its cost. Can we live with a stopped up drain? I calculate and recalculate minimum selling cost for our other condo. Can we even consider buying mortgage insurance or long term care insurance? Yesterday I was tempted to use all of our savings just to pay off the credit cards. And, at this time of our lives, we should be more comfortable about money issues. Coco Chanel's movie is an inspiration....how she started over and overcame adversity.

Humans don't understand angels.  No idea.  They really seem to think that we have wings and float around in heaven.  Oh sure, we can have wings if we want, but honestly they get in the way. Besides, they tend to scare people.  I mean what would you do if you somebody suddenly spread these huge white wings?  I guess it would be better than spreading huge black wings and breathing fire.   Still, it's daunting.  I don't recommend that you try it - if you're an angel that is. 

All the people who've seen my wings have been pretty darn scared.  That's no way to strike up a conversation.   I'd rather get to know folks before they find out my secrets.  So most the time, I don't have wings.  I don't exactly keep them at home.  You couldn't go into my closet, for example, and check to see if I was wearing them that day.  But I can have them any time I want.  They're just not that useful. 

We don't spend too much time in heaven either.  Why do people think we do?  First, it's boring up there.  I mean a cloud is a cloud is a cloud.  Sure it's peaceful, but I like a little excitement now and again.  Can you imagine just hanging around doing nothing for an eternity?  Oh my God - excuse me Boss, but what's the good in being if you're not doing?  Actually, the Boss doesn't want us hanging around.  You know, idle hands are the devil's workship.  At least that's what they say.  Besides, there's far too much to do - mission after mission.  I'm not too partial to harp music anyway.  That's a little angel joke. 

In case you're wondering, I think that the capital letters at the beginning of His name are a bit annoying, but I suppose that He's earned it , being omniscient and all.  Besides, He insists upon it.

So back to angels. . . I suppose you think that we run around doing good deeds.  Most humans do.  It's a bit more complicated though.  I mean, if you think human life is complicated, you should try universal life.  It's like the difference between living in 3 dimensions and 24.  So while we may be helping on one front it's quite possible that it may cause problems elsewhere.  It's like trying to keep a 24 dimensional balloon in a 3 dimensional bag.  Very tough. 

That's all! This summer had ended, but I can't say, that I'm upset about it. It was maby the best time in my life...but now...more meeting with friends, more work for me

My love...I don't understand anything about him and about me. I's very hard for me? but I can't sat, that I've dissapointed in him.I want to see him,hug and kiss, but...another question:what wants he.