Users With Most Entries

 
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    x3ncroyle1236x3  31, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 27 entries
09
May 2007
9:40 AM EDT
   

i love computer classes... cuz i sit next to K.M.
lol
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    blackroseangel  27, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries
11
May 2008
1:29 PM CDT
   

things are going sorta great..i think my love bart is actually want to go back with me..idk i hope so i beg for that..i love him so much that i want him back so much,,,that is my only wish i want is for bart to love me back as much as i love him and we be together..so corny but so true..that is my only wish
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    heartbreak2007  31, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 27 entries
26
Jun 2007
3:43 PM EDT
   

Hey what's p? Not too much here just chilling up in my friends house. Well um......I am back with my boyfriend and he has a week to get his shit together or he is out and I am done because I have till August to find a place and come up with money to get my own place.
Ash
Tags: Thanx
2 comment(s) - 10:32 PM - 06/26/2007
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    99tracy99  35, Female, Hong Kong SAR - 26 entries
18
Aug 2017
3:38 PM HKT
   

我想重生
我想重新過一鋪 無悔亦無憾
好似好老但係真架 我期望嚟多一鋪 無論邊方面都係�

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    retirik  52, Female, Illinois, USA - 26 entries
02
May 2007
1:03 PM CDT
   

Я чувствую себя хорошо.Я успокоилась на тему отъезда Бьорна. Можно сказать, что аутотренинг мой лучший друг, и это действительно работает! Но самое смешное, как только я успокоилась и настроилась, что все будет складываться позитивно, тут же сменилась дата отъезда Бьорна и теперь он уезжает аж 11 мая, а это значит, срок разлуки будет еще меньше. Представляете? Ты расслабляешься, и ситуация меняется в лучшую для тебя сторону.

Я прошла традиционную диспансеризацию, где мне сказали, что здоровье впорядке,а потом сходила на нетрадиционную - там компьютер сканирует весь организм. Эта доктор приезжает в Чикаго раз в шесть месяцев. Год назад я первый раз ходила к ней, где было выявлено, что организм был очень загрязнен - поэтому я и начала фанатично выводить шлаки. Тогда мне были назначены и гомеопатические уколы, и чаи, и все другое, чтобы очистить организм и привести его в баланс. И это дало результаты, в общем плане я стала чувствовать себя гораздо лучше. Но как она сказала тогда - пока не уберешь стресс и не перестанешь постоянно волноваться, хорошего здоровья быть не может. В этот мой к ней визит были выявлены огромные сдвиги, то есть не зря явсе это делала. Была найдена и причина того, что меня тошнит после еды - раздражен желчный пузырь и желчь застаивается. Она сказала, что делать, включая и трехдневную диету и подтвердила, что мне нужно вегетарианское питание. В этот раз мне даже не назначили гомеопатических уколов, только драже. Врач сказала, что некоторые отклонения от нормы совершенно минимальные и уколов уже не надо. Ура! Я очень довольна и благодарю Бога и вас, мои дорогие. Спасибо за поддержку.


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    letstalk  47, Male, Iowa, USA - 25 entries
19
May 2007
2:25 PM EDT
   

Hello everyone! I been little busy lately not working partbut I been confused in the last few weeks and I really hurt a close friend of mine that I did not mean to....I left her out of my life last month....I was not trying to but I just did not ask for her help and she took it wrong the whole relationship part. I am hoping our relationship can get back to where it was or close to where it was....I know she is saying she cares for me and etc. but I am not sure if it is back to where it was before yet or if it will because I did not pay attention to her last month do to the stress I was going through.
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    uns3ttl3d  32, Female, New York, USA - 25 entries
17
Mar 2007
7:34 AM EDT
   

i dont know what it is with me but i feel alone and scared. my parents are giving me a hard time for not wanting to go to join a gym or something. i havent even been home for 24 hours and theyre already giving me so much shit. i cant tkake it and my head feels like it wants to explode. i spent most of this morning having coffee and cigarettes outsie in the subzero temperature because i wanted to numb myself- literally -from thinking and worrying and now all this thinkin and worrying is getting to me. so i eventually came back and huddled my stuffed animal by the corner of the wall looking at an art book staring at a picture of monterey bay. i felt like i was going to pass out. i havent eaten yet today and i dont really feel like eating anything. im too emotionally stressed out. its just so hard for me to get up and do things and when people force me to just do it i feel like i want to kill myself. i just need help and i need it now. and help isnt coming. i think i should ask my parents for the psychologists number but then again they probably wont give it to me because they, as it has been for the past several years, want me to try other alternatives to helping myself. obviously exercise alone isnt going to get rid of my problems. along with acupuncture. along with herb medicine. along with church. along with books i cant even finish. along with trying new things. going new places. my inner devil will always catch up with me wherever i go and i am simply sick of it. what good has self medication done me so far?? i'm halfway in the process of getting lung cancer, i pushed away all the friends i ever had, i cant wake up in the morning without wanting to scream and cry. i've become so self centered that i cant even help those around me who need it (my brother who is now gone), i quit school because i couldnt think straight or function, i have dug myself so deep down this hole and i cant get myself to let alone even stand up or try to get a shovel to dig myself out just with exercise. why are they so blind? why dont they understand me? they dont. not to the least bit. and i am alone. alone in this world. alone in my thoughts. the mind can be a lonely place. i can feel the sting in my eyes because if i dont sit down and write/type it out i cant think in cohesive phrases. i will just get lot and frustrated even more than i already am and its just hell all over again. i cant take it. i cant take it. i cant take it. my head feels like it wants to explode. i am drowning in a pool of hopelessness and nobody around me knows how to swim. they all just sit on the sidelines and see me frolic and flail just as i have for the past 6 years and do absolutely nothing about it. some try, and they end up giving up because i am hopeless. i cant even stand up most of the time, how can thye expect me to walk? or let alone even run? the world i live in is a fast faced pace and everything is a fucking race. a fucking marathon. and i am a cripple (im speaking metaphorically but you get my point...or do you???) i am just tripping and falling and i cant get up. i need help. and my parents aren't a nurturing environment for the problems that i have. i dont even understand most of why i am the way i am. maybe i should just shut up and deal and get by day to day without thinking. thats what i did for the first half of last semester. but the inner devil caught up with me. it made me do stupid things. it made my suppressed bad thoughts 10 million times louder and now i can't tell whats real and whats not. i mean this emotionally and mentally. i can still decipher the real world, im not crazy just yet, but i get so lost in my own thoughts and i cant run away from me because i will always catch up. maybe im just insecure. maybe im just a loser. mayube im just a failure. maybe i dont deserve anything in this world. maybe i should just shut up. but i cant. the only way i can get myself to shut up is if i kill myself but that would be a last resort. i am so stupid. nothing in my life ive done is worth honoring. ive made some terrible mistakes and i never cease to embarass myself when i try to fit in or open up to others. i am thoroughly ashamed of my existence. and i am not worthy of being worried about by others...which i am not.. only my parents care about me and they dont know how to help me. i dont really have any real friends. only the people that i left behind in my old hometown and back at college that i cease to keep contact with anymore. why? because there is nothing to talk about. i am a boring person. i cease to bring forth anything to the table. i wish to change myself but i somehow cant because i lack the will and incentive. perhaps i do ahve incentive but i dont know who i am anymore if i ever did in the first place and lots of what i say or think or do repeats itself and gets worse every time i do it. god. i cant take it. i just want to be happy and have a normal worry free life. i know this isnt achieveable because life istn easy and i am too weak to do anything right...or do anything at all. so i will just sit here and rant on the computer to no one but myself and it really isnt doing much.
1 comment(s) - 04:52 PM - 05/10/2008
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    sexiicupcake  29, Female, Ohio, USA - 25 entries
26
Nov 2007
7:14 AM EDT
   

um lots of stuff i need to get out!!!!! Need Advice bad!!!

heyy everyone!!! I have alot of stuff i need to get out.. I need as much advice as i can get!! Okay so lets start by saying that I love rick to death. I would do anything for him. He means the world to me!! Lets start with um how he tells me beautiful even when i dont think i am. He told me i looked beautiful with my big black eye.. I was like awww.. He's the only guy that makes me smile without even trying.Which is a great thing.. Now ima tell you that we decided to "talk" exclusively. Well because i asked him. If im the only gurl your with and your the only guy im with that why cant we just date. and he told me we could "talk" for now and that maybe in a week or too we could start dating. I mean I honestly think i am in love with this boii. Everytime im with him i get this great feeling. I mean we are GREAT together. Its just sometimes wen we aren't together we get in quite a few fites and that we get mad at each other for a while. But i just need your advice on what I should do. I mean should i be with him..or what..gimme advice
2 comment(s) - 11:01 AM - 11/30/2011
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    bl69  27, Female, Texas, USA - 25 entries
21
Jan 2008
7:45 AM CDT
   

Well. SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPEND! since the last time ive been on here...that boy i was talkin to last..we dated..he was more than just a normal boy && i figured that out not in a well way. im not even too sure what happend still to this day..the middle of summer happend. he found a hotter girl..who didnt want him like i wanted him. but thats his mistake. in a way i felt like i made some BIG mistakes with him..i didnt know how to handle this 19 year old male who wants sex all the time. but i remember that night hanging out with him ..when he cut it off between us, as in dating. he tried to be so casual with it but i knew what that ass was going for. "this is our last night together so lets fuck" thats not the way he said it but thats how i heard it. but after him..i tried to be more cautious but theres been a few boys ive made out with..thats it..since him. he was my last serious deal. i need another one. its been too long && im not one to usually say that. but all these boys that i made out with...were for the wrong reason. i was using them for money, weed, drugs, alcohol...ya know the deal. i hooked up with 2 dealers..&& i got the deal...but wouldnt ever want a relationship with them. my mom would kill me if she found out i was datin the 20 year old mexican mafia dealer...the other one being 22...the 20 year old was sweet though...&& i might've but it wouldve been something on the low. my sisters couldnt even know. but then he disappeared the lene tex && like other mexican mafia drug dealers..they had warrants out the ass && couldnt get caught, so he said he was going out of town && he would be back but he never was. i would get random phone calls from him && we would talk forever..id let him know everything goin down in town..the business && what not.


but im falling apart...gaining weight which doesnt make sense..i guess because im not in sports anymore. i wanna live those days we were living last year at this time. i cant take this reminiscing anymore! it drives me nuts. i dont even party that much anymore..if u call sitting at your house drinkin with a few folks partyin then i am but thats not what i consider partying in my eyes. ive become a drug dealer in most peoples eyes. just get that little quick && make money && smoke for free. i feel as if school is going down drain too..but the grades dont show it. im making it. attendance shows it though..i cant help it! ugh! i cant write about my life anymore.

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    SeeWhy  53, Female, West Virginia, USA - 25 entries
30
Jul 2007
4:44 PM EDT
   

Just a quick catch up. I havent been to the therapist in two weeks. I am scheduled for next week. I have stopped taking the dealer classes. Couldnt juggle them and work. I have been working alot of hours. Husband is still in the house. An ex boyfriend found me online and told me alot of wonderful things, things I have always wanted to hear. It felt soo good to find out that someone was looking for me and had been looking for me since we broke up. I feel hook line and sinker...simple woman. He disappeared for weeks without calling or anything. Before anyone thinks bad of me.... I told him I was married. He is seperated. Then...long story short...he dropped me like a bad habit. He lives far from me. I am glad he does but...I miss his words...what is the key to healing a broken heart anyone???
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    Ashli  28, Female, California, USA - 24 entries
06
Apr 2007
3:56 PM EDT
   

So i really really like this guy named Alex but i was asked out to the prom by this guy named David and i only like him as a friend and nothing more...but i dont think that Alex likes me so im kinda sad... :( :{
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    Nated09  28, Male, Illinois, USA - 24 entries
02
Oct 2009
4:41 PM CST
   

Defying Gravity

Okay, so I love this song called "Defying Gravity" from the broadway musical, Wicked. Whether it be the broadway version or the version Idina Menzel(Elphie) turned into a single for her CD, whenever I listen to it, during the�highest point�portion of the song, I get goose bumps. This song is so inspirational.

This song talks about, just what the title states, defying gravity. True, unless you are a bird, or some one who hasn't been detected by the Government to be able to levitate yet, then this is ALL just metaphorical.

However, the metaphorical sense is probably about the best sense, because it lifts up�your mood and just how you are!

To defy gravity, this means to not let things get you down! Defy whatever is getting you down, whether it be: life, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, or even friends, work, school, the economic downturn this country has seen.

I have taken on this attitude in the last year, and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY! Life truly is what you make it, so when life gets you down, defy it! If you're flying solo, at least you're flying free!

Don't play by the rules of someone elses game...trust your instincts, close your eyes, and leap..Try defying gravity.

Don't accept limits just cause someone says they're so...There are some things you cannot change, but you won't know until you try...All of this and more is in the song. True, some words are in the broadway version that aren't in Menzel's version...

I have turned this song, "Defying Gravity," into a personal philosophy of defy gravity...I don't let things get me down. True, this mindset may make me seem cocky, but in truth this has made me more sure of myself, more confident, and a stronger person.

We all have the ability to defy gravity...sometimes it takes someone, to either push you over the edge to where you can't take it anymore, or someone to tell you that someone is opressing you so much that you need to defy them!

"Tell them how I am defying gravity, I'm flying high defying gravity..." Tell that to those who wish to keep you, your sould, your mind, your spirit grounded.

Defy Gravity, Defy life, Defy them all!

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    jazzsoulp  34, Female, Rhode Island, USA - 24 entries
28
Oct 2007
6:10 PM EST
   

...Wow...A lot has gone down since my birthday. I quit my wonderful job because I got admission into graduate school. I am more in Love with Babe than I have ever been...It's wierd...Like I Like Him more everyday. He's abroad now, and I'm nervous because He's so much closer even though we are still far apart. School is kicking. I'lll be getting my midterm grades tomorrow, so hopefully they are good ; )

I lost my God-father 3 Sundays ago. I miss Him and I hate knowing I wont be able to talk to Him ever again.
I really pray that my 4 girlfriends find true Love mehn...It's eating at my soul that they are lonely and unsure, but I'll keep praying for them. They have just got to experience this high...It's unexplainable.

Live in Love and Peace in the World...Much Love,...Me
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    aGiftFromAbov  35, Female, Virginia, USA - 24 entries
24
May 2009
5:29 PM EDT
   

Patience..

Patience.. is it truly a virtue?

Is it?

Can it be.. i mean ive waited for 2 years for the last guy i really wanted to be mine..

he comes to a realization 2 years later...

its been 2 years since ive been with him....

for 2 years hes waited on me..

love is such a crazy word for something that causes so much pain..

so much anger.. and grief..

so much stress...

hate..

hates sounds more appropriate..

love is cruel and evil..

i refuse to waste more time....

i was totally happy with wasting my time with a man that would never commit to marriage.. because i didnt plan on getting married anytime soon..

and for the most part we were living happily together..

now im living a nightmare..

i get looked at like a vagrant..

he cooked me breakfast...

im not sure if that was just cause he was up cookin..

or because he wanted to...

my heart aches so bad i want to combust..

i think time away will do me good..

hes doing what he wants to do anyways..

he always has..

its me..

that has learned patience....

its me that has learned.. heartache..

i felt better just blatantly being betrayed because at least that guy flat out told me..

i think its the trait of a coward.. who cant discuss thier feelings and let other ppl know what was going on.

But its clear.. crystal..

as always i have a very clear path that im going to take..

i will not deviate..

i have gone too far off course already..

all because of a man.. who had a hole in his heart..

that i wanted to fill..

but hes left me heartless..

i woulda took just the hole..

but the absense completely.. has me thrown.

im off balance..

i have to find my balance again..

i need to put my feet back on solid ground...

time will tell..

who knows..

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    itsjustme  40, Female, Texas, USA - 24 entries
04
Aug 2008
9:35 AM CST
   

Ever wish you could go in rewind and have do-overs?
Tags: regret
3 comment(s) - 11:44 AM - 08/23/2008
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    Daydreamer  31, Female, Australia - 24 entries
05
Aug 2007
2:31 PM EDT
   

I am very sad today!! See almost a week ago {the week mark will be tom.} that I got up the nerve to call the guy that asked to meet me and we still havent meet. I understand that he is very shy but if he really wants me the way I hear he does then why does he act the way that he has been?? Why is he not calling me back is it because he is shy or is it because he doesnt want to really do this with me...the whole relationship thing?? I mean with him for the first time in like two years I was actually ready for a real realationship and now its just like before...the reasons why I never had realtionships for that long time....2 years....and its just like will I never actually be happy??Will anyone really ever love me or not...Am I like destined to be alone forever??Please help!!!!!
1 comment(s) - 08:58 AM - 04/19/2008
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    bettyboxedin  29, Female, Canada - 24 entries
19
Nov 2006
7:35 AM CST
   

i have not been on lately due to a lot of stress and suicidal feelings lately I found out JOrdy has relapesd and is back on heroin he still smokes pot and dirnks. i am lost in what i should do. i have been told to dump him but what kind of girlfriend would i be if i do i am supposed to be there for him and i want to be to get him back on his feet, i have been told to call the cops but idont want to. i have no idea what i should do. anyways i am watching philodelphia so i have to go. it isn't the greatest movie s to watch since Jordy is back on heroin and you can contract aids from heroin and i dont want him to die. i love him too much to give up on him and throw in the towel now. i need to find some help for him find someone who can help me so i can help him. he is my rock and if that rock gets weak and crumbles then so do i.
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    shejustloves  43, Female, Minnesota, USA - 24 entries
06
Feb 2010
4:25 AM CST
   

Today is the day...my stomach is in knots, I feel like I have to vomit...I just don't know what to expect...
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    linnea14star  24, Female, Washington, USA - 24 entries
16
Jun 2013
8:27 AM CST
   

Starting Somwthing Different

Summer has started and so has my new ideas for different things. I have decided to start writing my bucket list on twitter and gmail. �I am also broadcasting my story ideas and definitions for words I learned just this last school year. I don't know if that was a bad idea, but I can't wait to find out.
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Current Tags: home...sick...again

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    x3VanDyke  28, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 23 entries
19
Jun 2007
2:49 PM EDT
   

Okay y'all it's been a good almost 1 month since ive written in here yeah not much to tell so ima go
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