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    justjeff  47, Male, North Carolina, USA - 14 entries
03
Sep 2007
12:27 AM EDT
   

Well, I haven't published anything public since May. However, the private journal at home is filled with the events of the summer.
I moved Elliot to New York, a month ago as of Sept 1. I must say, it was the 2nd hardest thing I have ever lived through. Losing my best friend, Judy, to sudden death in 2000, was the hardest. Still, almost 7 years in October...it's still hard....When I think about it....it seems like she died just a few short days ago.
I think I have cried at least once a day beginning in June, aniticipating Elliot's move to NYC. How am I going to be able to let my 24 year old baby go ! I know it's time to spread his wings. However, I had him for such a short time. He's grown up so fast. I'm to young to have Empty Nest Syndrome !!!! I know I have two other children....who I love dearly.....but there is a special bond with this child....Mostly, I think, because he's gay like me....and I relate to him...and secondly, I adopted him as a much older child....technically an adult...but emotionally, still a child. We could have adult conversations and could somewhat relate to one another. He came into my life when I so needed to keep busy and care for someone, especially, since the biological kids are with their mom half the time.....and I came into his life, when his "blood" family had abandoned him and were showing him no support. Now...after a few short years...getting him threw undergrad....I'm here....leaving him in NYC and back here in NC...to only talk to him by phone and IM. Fortunately we have webcams...so I can seem on occasion.
The tears come easily and often. The first two weeks were the worst. Not only had I moved him to NYC. The day before we moved him there....we moved my things out of the apartment, back into the house that I had built for my ex wife and myself. I bought her out and she was moving on. The biological kids begged me not to sell it....and for their sakes, we're staying in the house. Remodeling is the word of the day.....but it's hard...really hard.. I shut down the apartment that I had lived with Elliot....and moved to the house that I had such bad, marital memories....A part of me feels as if I not only closed the apartment...but shut the door on my life with Elliot...being he never lived in the house....However, On the upside...I'm doing everything in my power to turn the house upside down....to cleanse the bad memories....to cleanse the sense of joint ownership....and move on...to realize...I own this home...it's mine and all 3 children.....Elliot will be here at XMAS to see it. Fortunately...I will be in NYC to visit with him at Thanksgiving....but there are days I wonder if I can make it that long without seeing him. I have never been without him since he came into our life, no more than 2 weeks apart. Now it's a month !!!!!
I'm not sure that I am expressing the deep emptiness I feel with Elliot being in NYC. The lonliness I feel is deep and so raw. Jessica and Andrew are great kids and having them live with me full time now...really helps, but my family is not complete right now. I'm wondering if it ever will be...except for Holidays and vacations. UGH !!!
It's been a month since moving him there. The emotions are not quite so raw. I haven't cried in the last week. Maybe, I'm adjusting....HA. NO...instead...I've been really insecure about our relationship....I am so afraid he's moving on. However, his comment is that he's moving forward not moving on
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    garryageez  48, Male, United Kingdom - 14 entries
24
Oct 2007
4:11 PM GMT
   

Lets not forget Burma.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

BURMA LETS NOT FORGET.
Current mood: worried
Category: Life

Since the oppressive government of Burma have severed all contact with the outside world, through a ban on tv, radio and internet media, It can easily seem to those outside that the terrible oppression that the people of Burma are suffering is over, but far from it. Reports leaking from the Country suggest that things are still bad and getting worse. Here is what Amnesty international have to say on the matter.

Burma crisis - Stop the bloodshed

Violent crackdown on protesters continues

185

A heavy military presence on Burma's streets, combined with mass arrests, has stamped out the massive protests of the past week. Huge numbers of troops are visible on street corners across Yangon, the focal point for the demonstrations, and fear is widespread.

The flood of reports in the city of alleged brutal killings, disappearances and arrests is causing major concern for the people of Burma and those watching the continuing crisis.

52Watch footage of protests in Burma (RealPlayer)

Background

Amnesty International has long documented Burma's appalling human rights record. This includes widespread and systematic human rights violations:

  • The holding of more than 1,160 political prisoners in deteriorating prison conditions. Detainees include most senior opposition figures
  • The use of torture and other cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment, especially during interrogation and pre-trial detention
  • The use of child soldiers and forced labour
  • Laws that criminalise the peaceful expression of political dissent
  • People frequently being arrested without warrant and held incommunicado
  • Judicial proceedings against political detainees that fall short of international fair trial standards
  • Defendants being denied the right to legal counsel and prosecutors relying on confessions extracted through torture

Act nowto protect peaceful protestors The Governments hope is that through the meassures it has taken through the media ban, the world will forget their peoples plight, We must not let them succeed in this endeavour. The problem we face is that the media of the western world are there to make interesting tv, and if there is nothing to report the situation is put on the shelf until something terrible happens. Lets not wait for that to happen to remind us. Lets act now, by writing to our governments, and the chinese government demanding that they act to stop these crimes against humanity. Look out for any protest that are taking place that we can attend.. Also you can do what i have done and bring the situation to peoples attention by writing an entry in our blogs and on our comments on myspace etc. We all have the tools to be able to do this and this seemingly small act can reach so many and do so much. I thank you all very much for your attention on this matter and hope and pray you all have the love and compassion in your hearts to act NOW. With Metta (LOVING KINDNESS) Garry D. AKA SOOPANOVA.



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Current Tags: amnesty international, Buddhism, Burma, corruption, injustice, monks, Politics, protest, world affairs

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    ptwsparkles  15, Female, Massachusetts, USA - 14 entries
03
Aug 2007
11:32 PM N
   

well today nothin much happened. yesturday i got a shot/needle in the top of my arm. IT HURT!!!!!!!!!!!! but im ok now. just about to go out to walk the dog wit grandma be back. i will right tomarow. k bye
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    cutieliciousx21  18, Female, Michigan, USA - 14 entries
28
May 2009
12:06 PM EDT
   

School year is almost over...

thank god. i swear, i think i would die if it wasn't for the fact that we only have 5 more days to wake up. i can handle that. :). one more day to wake up this week and i am completely okay with that.

well, i guess i'm currently married to my crush, and he's spreading that around :) haha. whatever. i really hate that i like him, because he's GAY!!!! wtf? how do i fall for a GAY guy? i dont understand it... i guess maybe it's because he's become one of my closest guy friends... man, i like him, and i'm going to try the trick that mrs. miller taught us about the pupils, i'm wondering if he'll use it on me, because he knows that i like him... :)

well, i'm gonna go, i'm hanging out with emmah and allen.

Peace. :D

1 comment(s) - 03:10 PM - 05/28/2009
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    edprice  46, Male, New York, USA - 14 entries
22
Jul 2008
3:24 AM EST
   

All you need is love

Quote of the day

"The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Universe entry of the day

The funny thing, Ed, is that in spite of the euphoria one feels upon entering paradise, cloaked in miracles, surrounded by angels, love, and unimaginable beauty, it gradually becomes all they know, commonplace, ordinary, and then, shockingly... invisible.

Yep, I'm talking about life on earth.

Yippee Kai-Ye,

-The Universe-

Journal entry of the day

Love, love, love, da-da-da, love, love, love, etc., etc.

Famous and great song. The longer I ponder it the more I relize and believe that the root of God and all things good is love. God is love is a Christian concept and the only religion on the planet to make this proclamation. Dr. Wayne Dyer quoted someone who said, "The only difference between good and God is "o" or nothing. There is no difference. We are all capable of God like qualities if we share love.

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Current Tags: ed price, incomegps, maxgxl, maxwlx

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    Tikasiamese  46, Male, New York, USA - 14 entries
21
Jul 2007
4:27 PM EDT
   

Its been awhile since I got on here, sorry. I just got back watching my cousin Debbies house. Her two cats are so cute. I really enjoyed myself. I was feeling alittle under the weather this week. I still had to check on Tika to make sure he was ok. I took him over to see the two boys and it was quite interesting. I kept Tika in his cage but Charlie had an attitude and ran off pouting. Henry just looked at Tika, tormenting his presence. About 20 minutes later, Tika was whinning and hissing so I knew that the visit came to an end. Thank god I decided to keep him in the cage.

Debbie came home on Wednesday night. I thought she said she would keep away. I think from now on I won't be telling her my intentions next year. She must have done some laundry because I saw the laundry basket in the living room. Apparently I also left the sliding glass door open in error. What can I say, it was a mistake on my part.
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    sweetcakes100  38, Female, California, USA - 14 entries
11
Apr 2007
7:47 AM EDT
   

What can I do to stop feeling so lonely?
2 comment(s) - 07:32 PM - 04/24/2007
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    buttercup68  44, Female, Canada - 14 entries
13
Jun 2008
5:42 AM MST
   

I am such an emotional wreck. I have fallen for this guy and this guy doesn't know that I exist as a member of the female gender. I long to have his arms wrapped around me, or to nuzzle my cheeks in his chest. Geez! At forty, I act like a teenager before this guy

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    adj  62, Male, New York, USA - 14 entries
07
Nov 2006
2:36 PM EDT
   

Dark and dreary posted my comment on what election day meant to me. It meant that I had an opportunity to vote for another incredibly wealthy man, and keep the tradition of only the rich in power and only the lonely are poor. But as Spencer Kimball might say, only the poor of spirit are lonely, and nobody has to be poor of spirit. Had a good workout, 3m. run, roller blading and a swim.
1 comment(s) - 11:10 AM - 11/03/2008
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    wowhunnterr  40, Male, Virginia, USA - 14 entries
28
Sep 2008
4:12 AM EDT
   

Yearn for the Vast Sea

The given quote, teach not men to build a ship but teach them to yearn for the sea.  While I live on the Oceans shore I too know of the Seas great pull and open promise of adventure, I realize that vastness of this quote is better applied to the idea of liftting the human spirit.  It is when the human spirit is driven to achieve, given a burning desire, it is then that we can not and will not be stopped from our true potential.

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    coralturtle50  20, Female, United Kingdom - 14 entries
22
Jan 2010
9:02 PM GMT
   

Hola!!!!!!! god, i havent written on here for sooo long, what with running around and someone else always on the computer.... you get the idea.

finally moved house... thats right after 7 months of complaining and bitching about the lack of potential buyers, a couple put us out of our misery and we were free to leave the hellhole and move to sunnier land, well 30 mins up the road anyway. although we put on the pretence of hating the old house, on the actual morning my parents were crying at seeing the place looking empty and abandoned, as we had grown up there and it is where they rememeber their parents , so it had a lot of emoitonal memories contained in its walls. the actual day was quite stressful and me and ben ended u having lunch in the back of the car surrouned by all of our stuff.  walking into our new house was daunting as i could barely remember some of it and had never actually seen all of my parents bedroom, but everything seemed great on the surface. however the way my mum has acted over the last few weeks you might diagree as she spots ever expanding cracks in the walls and ceiling but then this has been THE COLDEST WINTER FOR OVER 30 YEARS. i had barely even thought about the old house until last week when i was in school and i thought 'when i get home i'll have to typr this essay quickly as mu parents will want to go to sleep' forgetting that the computer is no longer in their room, woo hoo, from now on youtube until 3 in the morning :) onlu complaint...my bum is going numb as we are still sitting in deckchairs every night, as there is still a lack of furniture about the place, especially in the lounge.

back to school now and history is ....well history, (woo hoo a pun) , thank god, i dont think i could bare to sit there listening to the boring life story of another politicion for one meow seconds, my brain was already starting to melt. parents evening is always a laugh and this year it did not disappoint. one highlight of the evening...al praise miss pickersgill for being the only  teacher EVER to say that it is ok for me to not talk so much in class. one up for the people who just like to sit the quietly, doodling on their paper, whike everyone else's voice's floating around the room.

big news of the week...I MADE MY FIRST SALE. i feel like a proper little business woman. the senior housemistress is giving me 25 quid to crochet her a scarf like the one i made for myself at xmas. lately i was starting to feel that maybe my dream job was not going to happen as the market is to difficlut but thisjust renewed my faith to the extreme.x

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    Yhm  28, Female, China - 14 entries
23
Nov 2011
5:54 PM CST
   

4 Seasons

I was staring at the window while having my bus ride this morning and noticed that the leaves changes its color again. Autumn it is, well winter is actually on its way. 

I guess the reason why we have 4 seasons is that it's an illustration of our life's season too. There are times that everything goes pale, like the weather nowadays, it turned the leaves into a yellow, red & brown color, and sooner or later it will eventually wither & fall on the ground. Then winter will come & trees will hybernate and some trees won't be able to withstand the temperature and will just dried up with the freezing weather and some will endure and will sprout again in spring which indicates that this certain plant was able to survive no matter how stiff or fierce the season was and will be able to show it's color to fill the world with its wonderful aura. And in Summer plants & trees will reach the fullness of their appearance and will be able to store enough energy from it's source. And when autumn comes again it'll be prepared to face another transition of life.


We've got battles and trials each day. We've got joy, sorrows, and breakthroughs, and each season represents us that there's always something that awaits on the other side as we patiently endure each time we'll be facing challenges in our life. Our source is extraordinary, He is the Creator of the Universe, therefore we don't have any reason to give up on each season because He will sustain us no matter how tough our situations are, all we have to do is to do our part, and that is to keep on going no matter what, because we are not alone and our life is in His hands!  

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    DancingButterfly  34, Female, New York, USA - 13 entries
02
Sep 2008
2:02 PM EDT
   

What I regret the most last year...

is that I didn't apply for B-school. I went as far as finishing GMAT and celebrated the test result, but nothing further. That set me back an entire year. Labor Day just passed yesterday, which means I again have 3 months to figure out why I need an MBA, where I want to apply, and complete the applications. Fun stuff...
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    Staci07  19, Female, Iowa, USA - 13 entries
17
Jun 2007
9:44 AM CDT
   

hey yall i know that i havent posted i like forever!!! but u know, its summer baby!!!! i gotta do watta i gotta do!!! so swimmin is the most fun part, i can't get through a day without swimmin well i g2g swim!! lol!! luv ya!!!
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    ybg  30, Female, New York, USA - 13 entries
20
Jun 2010
8:32 PM EDT
   

Five blissful years later and I can't help but sneak little smile that I'm still so in love...
1 comment(s) - 01:56 AM - 06/30/2010
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    liailian  19, Female, China - 13 entries
04
Nov 2007
9:43 PM HAY
   

...

who knows
simon's rock???
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    lexly  43, Male, Oregon, USA - 13 entries
11
Aug 2008
3:10 AM PDT
   

Olivetti

http://www.peacecorpswriters.org/pages/1999/9911/911indexp1.html

http://staff.xu.edu/~polt/typewriters/smeal2.html

http://wemadethis.typepad.com/we_made_this/2007/07/olivetti-letter.html

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    greg  20, Male, California, USA - 13 entries
19
Jan 2007
2:51 AM PDT
   

I HAVE A FRIEND NAMED SABRINA AND SHES SITTING NEXT TO ME AND SHE JUST SAID SHES MY FRIEND YYEEEESSSSS IM SO COOL LOL
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    mr1olympia  23, Male, California, USA - 13 entries
19
Jan 2007
2:41 PM EDT
   

ONCE AGAIN LOVE DOES NOT EXSIST......GET BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 comment(s) - 01:24 AM - 07/14/2007
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    surfer11  19, Male, California, USA - 13 entries
22
Jan 2007
8:12 PM EDT
   

Well today was my first day back with a open tooth. If You didnt know im getting a root canal. So for now my dentice left my tooth open in order for it to drain. It Taste horrible. And i constatntly have to rinse my mouth.Another bad thing is that i have to chew my food all on 1 side and its starting to hurt. The dentice gave me pain killers incase it starts to ache. But it hasnt ached yet i hope it dosnt. Iv only had sharp pains. Beside my tooth my days been ok it wasnt fun it wasnt boring. At least i had no homework.
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