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    JustKeepSmiling :)  31, Female, California, USA - 2 entries
10
Feb 2011
7:41 PM CDT
   

What do you say when you want a friend to feel better? The truth is no one believes a person when they say, "I know how you feel." How can anyone possibly understand.

But I do. I went through pain and suffering. Maybe different circumstances, but the feelings are the same. For everyone on this Earth. So why are there still people out there who don't have compassion or empathy? Or at least some sympathy? We have all hurt in some way or another. Others hide it better than others but pain is pain. It hurts. It weighs down on you like a heavy brick. And each day you keep on smiling and lying to yourself more bricks get added every day until your stuck and can't go on anymore.
That's why it's so important to be open with your friends. To vent! To let some of that poison out even if it means they are going to scream and cry in front of me, curse, throw things. It's better than to hide it and allow it to fester and grow into a monster that you can no longer control.
I did that. I was stupid and 16. No wonder right? But I learned the hard way. Now, I am older and hopefully wiser. I wish people could understand the foolishness of such emotions like, hate and anger. How they don't help you at all and they only make your life harder and more miserable. Like Buddha said, I can't really quote it perfectly but it goes something like this: "Anger is like holding a hot coal in your hands with the intention of throwing it at the other person. But all you are doing is burning your own hand."
You get it? I didn't. Not when I was 16 I didn't! I was sooo full and blinded by my anger and resentment against my mother and the abandonment I felt that I let it take me over. My entire life and youth for that matter. I became this emotional vampire, dark, alone, and depressed. Severely depressed. I blamed her for everything. I hated her. I wanted to see her to feel pain because I was suffering.

Yup. Anger can make people do stupid things. That's why it doesn't make sense to me anymore why people would stick with it.
For example, my parents had this nasty divorce. Did I mention it's been 2 years now...and of course they won't give up to anything meanwhile their blood sucking lawyers already took my college money.
Yes, my life is complicated. But I looked at those two children that are my parents and bless them. I do. I say to myself, "Thank God that I learned from their terrible mistakes. That I am stronger now. That I learned." I go on with my day, seeing my mother and father, who believe me have horrible secrets and issues. They just won't admit it. From my alcoholic father, to my insecure mother who always finds the worst man to be with, (on purpose). It's sad truth be told.
But I am so lucky to have my older sister. Sure, she can steal my clothes and ruin two fabulous pairs of shoes....and mess with my food that one time. Nevertheless, I love her. No matter what, I have her back and she has mine.

In conclusion, no matter how messed up or complicated your life is, you need at least ONE person to be there and say, "I'm here for you. I love you. I think your hurting and angry and are saying this right now that later in life I know you will laugh at with me....and I see your hurt. But just know that you aren't crazy. Your not. Your a good person." Yes, everyone has the potential of being a good person. It's the higher road, and also the harder one. I just wish my friend can muster up the courage to really tell me whats on her mind and heart. Even if she tells someone else, I wouldn't care. I just want to see her better. Happy and well. Wether or not we are still friends when she does. When you care about a person that really doesn't matter. Just as long as they are happy.
1 comment(s) - 11:49 PM - 01/29/2012
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Current Tags: depression, divorce, friends, parents, problems

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    MyNameIsSteve  30, Male, Illinois, USA - 6 entries
27
Sep 2010
8:18 AM EDT
   

you hate your parents?

I will no doubt add to this and post more on this subject, it is something�I feel rather strong about and it is a problem that has and will always disgust me.


Im not going to sit here complaining how "life sucks" and how�I "hate" my parents. Im not that ignorant,�I know for a fact that there's a lot of kids who are far worse off than�I am. Not many kids can accept that though. They feel as if people actually care to hear them whining about how "shitty" their lives are. Most of the time it's just them crying about how they have the worst parents in the world. It's annoying to hear, not only because they're acting like two year olds who don't get their way, but because their parents ACTUALLY CARE!!! Kids like these deserve to get smacked. I hate hearing you little kids say "i hate my parents" because you dont!! If even one of your parents were to die tomorrow, you KNOW you would be taking those words back as fast as you could. You can't "hate" your parents because they yelled at you one time in who knows how long. I suggest taking a look in the mirror to see who the real asshole is, becasue odds are its not your parents. Although some people DO have some unfit parents. Parents that come out and say "you dont matter" and constantly remind you that you ruined THEIR life and how they cant wait until you're 18 so you can stop wasting their money. These kids who "hate" their loving parents have no idea what its like to have parents that hate YOU. They don't have to struggle to keep themselves alright in the head. They dont have to worry about getting brainwashed into thinking they're just a piece of shit. They don't get to feel any REAL physical pain or have that constant mental strain. But somehow they still "hate" their loving parents. Kids like this deserve to see what it's like living with REAL problems with parents that clearly don't give a fuck about you. I'd LOVE to see how those kids would react to THEIR mom dragging them through the house and kicking them out in the winter without so much as a pair of shoes. I doubt they'd still "hate" their parents because they got their xbox taken away. Asshole kids, there's too many of them, it's worse than a damn plague. I'm used to crap like this. I'm used to the fact that MY mom will never and has never loved me. According to her, I'm just a�"faggot�little bitch" while�the asshole kids with big mouths get tucked in at night and get called "honey bunchkins"......�Most kids�have no clue what it feels like to be hated by your parents. But they will still always open their mouths to say "I hate my parents"........ fuck you, you'll never understand, you'll just never get it.

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Current Tags: crappy, hate, parents, shitty, teenagers

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    vampiricakatt  28, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries
02
Jun 2010
10:34 AM EDT
   

WHY!

okay so I had to call the cops on my parents big deal, i have to watch my dad get drunk everynight so what,� I have to move away from the town i grew up in, Oh well, I wont be with my best friend, I have to deal with it, Things are never going to change, That better not come true. this is what is going on i told my grandparents i rather go to�a foster home then to live with my mom. and that i rather die then to see my dad get drunk everynight. No big deal. Right???
1 comment(s) - 07:17 PM - 06/02/2010
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Current Tags: friends, pain, parents, sorrow, wonder

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    vampiricakatt  28, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries
06
May 2010
6:56 AM EDT
   

The things I hear

The Fights and screams
But I am unseen
I hear the crashes and fall
I can see it all
I look in the mirror and see
My bloody face beside me
Why has he done this again
why did I have to get in between them
another crash another scream
Why wont god save me
In front of me is this mirror
That only shows my horror
I smash it into pieces
And hope that I will free them
The cuts on my arms are nothing
Depending on the consequents.
2 comment(s) - 02:22 PM - 05/10/2010
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Current Tags: Cutting, fights, Parents, Sorrow, sorry

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    annabean  29, Female, Utah, USA - 11 entries
26
Sep 2007
9:41 AM MDT
   

school is such a drag!!! i hate it...th eonly reasin parents like it is because they can get rid of u for at least 6 hours. and to get a great education....oh gag me! iwat do parents do w hile were at school? are they partying....highly doubt it...my folks are to old to even move to the tango.
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