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hopelessromantic 37, Female, Philippines - 16 entries

Apr 2010
7:54 PM EET

ef.u.cee.kay! no :(

Summer,although has been not that much of� a fun,� it's kind of making me feel chill and worry-free though . I feel like I should enjoy it more than I usually do at ordinary times.When I say ordinary, it's when I've not-so boring moments at home, either just surfing the net, watching tv or I'm fast asleep. Well, it has been all good, yet far from being great when I get to remember my THESIS. It's been so long since I have a thought about it.I haven't been worrying much, not until effing� now! :(
IT really scares me. I have wasted a year,and I don't want to waste another one. Argh! I'm so damn hopless.My future is doomed. I'm gonna be stuck in here, spending so much time to beg for the signatures I need, yet I'm not gonna get them soon enough .If this predicament� lasts until� forever (Which Is kind of� possible) then it's also a way for me to say that, I AM EFFING DEAD!!! I'll be forever be such a bummed person, without anything other than frustrations and broken dreams,looking at my friends to reach the top and be happy for them. And me? or there's no me at all. I'll be like a living dead by then. helplessly Starving for success , jeopardize myself with negative thoughts and just pathetically die!

(In a nutshell, I need to have the thesis signed by some people, pass it! then have my clearance signed by the DEAN of our department--- I need the clearance to start� processing� my credentials(TOR,Diploma,etc etc) which I badly need to apply for a job. Yeah! I NEED. If I fail at the first then I fail at everything, hence domino effect! wtf

ending: Me-a-fucking-loser!

FML

Tags: dead, frustrations, negative, sad, sorrows

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Lolastar18 35, Female, United Kingdom - 28 entries

Apr 2010
1:52 PM EDT

Oh wow!

hey! im gonna start writing here more now. On top of school, Writing in a paper journal is tiring for my wrists :)

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auxilary25 40, Female, California, USA - 32 entries

Apr 2010
3:32 PM EDT

Broken heart

Can anyone tell me...How do you get over a broken heart....How do u stop thinking about him....How do u stop caring...How can u make urself numb?

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5 comment(s) - 12:52 AM - 05/15/2010

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kiya 34, Female, Canada - 21 entries

Apr 2010
2:55 PM EDT

when you feel down, think.

�Problems are usually temporary,
and death is permanent.
There is always a brighter side to things,
even when everything seems wrong.
You gotta just look really hard for something
that keeps you going, and stick with it.

Tags: fight, help, hope, listen

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kiya 34, Female, Canada - 21 entries

Apr 2010
2:50 PM EDT

i don't know if this has ever happened to you... but did it ever happen that in a random day, for no reason... you suddenly feel sad, alone, like noone understands and end up crying? if yes... how do you stop?

Tags: question

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auxilary25 40, Female, California, USA - 32 entries

Apr 2010
2:16 PM EDT

Pain

So today I officially changed my status to single on-line.... I have to accept it's over. We have great weekends and everything is happy dandy then the topic comes up by him of infidelity and no matter how hard I try to bite my tongue I tell him he's wrong...his cheating is HIS fault..he can't blame me for it HE DID IT! But no it's my fault because he doesn't want to be around me so he turns to someone else..it's my fault that after having a c-section I needed HIM to build the play-pen....it's my fault that he wasn't there for me after I gave birth. I see him and he's a stranger to me my heart is on the floor broken and it keeps breaking even when I think it's shattered into enough pieces. Now I have to share my daughter.....he doesn't know if I'm a rebound from his previous marriage...after 2 years of being with me..wow. IDK whats wrong with me I know he's no good for me yet my heart somewhere in there wants him and doesn't at the same time. How can ppl change from night to day...he tells me I'm going to lose....but whose battling? All I want is the family I started....I got pregnant because I thought our daughter had two loving parents who would raise her together...my plan wasnt to find out I was cheated on 3 months after giving birth and getting blamed for it...my plan wasnt to be told that he loves me but can't live with me....we stop talking and then he'll text me that deep in his heart he has hope we'll be together...then we hang out and he says he doesn't know whether he can live with me.....how can love erase when u give birth?? The truth is he never loved me to begin with.....I'm so broken...I must smile and keep going for my daughter...so that my family doesn't worry but inside I'm screaming at the top of my lungs begging God to give me the strength to keep pushing when the going gets tough.

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kiya 34, Female, Canada - 21 entries

Apr 2010
12:50 PM EDT

nothing really...

i'm just excited to have my hair cut tomorrow...
i'm worried about certain people in my life now...but i still believe that they can get through it and come out as winner..:)
everytime i write here...
it feels like my reflection time...LOL
anyways.... got to go read again... got an exam tomorrow at night..ish..hehehe

life sure is complicated...
but what can we do...
we just have to deal with it
and make it work/..... :)always!

kiya

Tags: daily, life, random

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kiya 34, Female, Canada - 21 entries

Apr 2010
12:47 PM EDT

why follow what people say is right...

who knows if they're even right...
everything here
is what's in my head...
I would say this
and people won't agree
but I sometimes think that...

people only believe
to better themselves.
Not because it is real
not because they believe
but because they fear

i don't see the purpose of going to church
when right after, you gossip about others
i don't see why you have to announce to everyone
that mr. and mrs. someone donated the highest amount

whether He's there or not
can't you talk to him alone?
in your own room,
or while your walking,
and not HAVE to go to some building built by humans
who call it holy whatever...

all i'm saying is that..
happiness is something we make,
whether there's a God or not...
we are the one's living our lives..

We should still do good
without thinking of the reward...
Whether there's a heaven or not...
We can be better if we want to.

i might have sounded preachy...
but it's true...
i'm not saying that you should pray at night
all i'm saying is don't be a hypocrite...

If you don't believe in God--noone should force you to
if you don't want to go to church---noone should tell you to
and if don't have a religion---who says that you have to have one?
but if you do? as long as you truly believe in it, then i guess you aren't a hypocrite...

i don't know if there's a god or not...but while i live my life, all i know is that there's karma...that you still should try to be a good person no matter what...
do you good did for the day...that's all

Tags: different, people, religion, why

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vampiricakatt 29, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries

Apr 2010
10:37 AM EDT

As The Days Go On

�as the days go on
Life eats away at the soul I have left
I try not to die
but I see it coming fast
I know that one day I'll be loved
But I still want to die
after I go to the underworld
I feel the presents that I didn't
once I leave this town
and once I leave this world
I shall die
and never return.
By
Katt Chapman
I wrote this a while ago but as the days go by I see it is coming more true day by day

Tags: Sorrow

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vampiricakatt 29, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries

Apr 2010
10:28 AM EDT

well today is a little bit better i think that me not having my phone has made it easier for me to forget about people and just have fun Im pretty sure I broke my finger though It hurts like hell but oh well

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