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keonyama96 31, Female, Kansas, USA - 191 entries

Mar 2010
7:08 PM EDT

Band clinic was yesterday and my bro and I where in da newspaper wit a bunch of other ppl

Tags: COOL

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1 comment(s) - 02:44 PM - 03/19/2010

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Imperfection 30, Female, New York, USA - 2 entries

Mar 2010
12:33 PM EDT

Death?

Dear Journal,

�Yesterday, my friend mike died..Oh god its so hard for me to write this because i thought i would never say it ever in my life..He commited suicide. This hurts so bad the pain is like a huge truck bashing you 100 times. Theres like a hole in my chest and he was my friend. Its weird you know? Knowing that you will never see someone ever again? Their linger and smell, their smile, and the way they joked. It stays in your mind forever. I wish i had a neetle that could give me amnesia and take away the pain. I used to help him all the time, one time he called me at 2 in the morning so i could comfort him. It hurts to know i will never hear his voice again and to see him smiling. The way he used to play around with me and laugh at me. I feel so guilty because when he needed me most i wasnt there. His girlfriend cheated on him..He said that he was fine when i shouldve known he wasnt. I met him in the summer and ever since then we became close. Its so unreal how you could lose someone in a matter of seconds. I hope that this sadness and pain thats overwhelming me right now will go away..I will never forget him and today i went by the traintracks and dropped a flower down where the remainder of his blood was. Life is so cruel, i wish that everyone was happy and we could all live in harmony but, i know that will never happen ever. The world is filled with hate and pain all day everyday. I cant talk to people, the tears just come back. After everything i went through last year this really wow. i would do last year 142353476 times over to save mikes life. I have a picture of him in my phone that i set as his caller i.d and looking at it today i just couldnt believe my eyes. Mourning was everywhere as i walked into fourth period late, i saw all of the guidance counselours standing and talking.�I stood there looking at his seat and i tried so hard to prevent the tears from coming out but, i couldnt. Half the class was already hysterical i just i feel so sad..I miss him and if i could do anything to bring him back or at least say goodbye to him i would do anything. When i dream i hope hes there smiling at me. Oh god, it hurts. These uncontrollable tears keep pouring out and i just cant find myself to accept hes gone. I just wish it was a joke and he was kidding!! But no, its not and that just kills me. Im wearing his ring right now, on a chain around my neck. I remember when he gave it to me, oh no he actually threw it at me and he told me it was a christmas present. When i saw his girlfriend wearing his hat and wrist band i wish that it was him. I wanted to smell it and remember him. Another memory that pops up is when i dated victor and he picked me up and he by accident cut my leg. I wish i was a fortune teller, i would've saved him in a heart beat. Oh god, please send mike into heaven so, when my life is done i could rejoin with him. I dont know how much i can take before i crack. I wish i was a little girl again, oh those great days when i didnt even know what death was.

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MrsOakley 38, Female, Nevada, USA - 36 entries

Mar 2010
8:18 AM CST

My Fiancee and I Have Finally Picked The Date For Our Wedding...July 10th, 2010...We'll Being Having It In His Home Town...For One His Family Is Larger And Mine Are Willing To Drive To Be Apart Of The Celebration...Two Decorah Is Absolutely Beautiful For A Wedding...

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3 comment(s) - 11:09 AM - 03/20/2010

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vampiricakatt 29, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries

Mar 2010
10:24 AM EDT

FUCKING KILL ME KNOW GOD WHATS THE POINT HANNAH HATES ME NOW AND I HAVE NO CHOESE WHY DON'T I DIE AND JUST END ALL MY PAIN I WONT BE ON FOR A WHILE SO TEX ME IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAIN! 612 816 3713

Tags: no

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9 comment(s) - 07:42 PM - 03/20/2010

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vampiricakatt 29, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries

Mar 2010
10:11 AM EDT

FUCK THIS LIFE FUCK THIS SHIT WHATS THE POINT OF LIVING WHEN I DONT HAVE MY BEST FRIEND

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Gilbert022208 36, Female, South Carolina, USA - First entry!

Mar 2010
4:48 AM EDT

Realistic Nightmare

I had a horrible nightmare... it was so real...but i know it was not. It was one of the scariest dreams i have had in a long time. It felt so real... i felt the feelings..its hard to explain... but it felt like everything was so realistic. My husband and i was visiting a friend and some guy walked in and tried to throw me out of a window... because he didn't want me to be there. I was able to get away and run out of the house, i got in the car cause i was scared for my life. my husband was right behind me, but that guy was right behind him. As he tried to get into the car� he was pulled out and was being beat. He told me to lock the doors so i did. I thought there was just that one guy.. but there was a bunch of them, some of them were hiding in the back seat. As i was watching my husband being beat i was being held down and being raped. One was in the front and one was in the back while i am being held down by� two. The thing that scared me the most... was as i was waking up i could feel their hands touching me and my backend was hurting like it was actually done. i really don't understand it... how is it that something happens in a dream and you actually feel it after you wake up? Does that even make since or am i going out of my mind??? I feel kind of crazy i guess you could say. i am really confused. i know it was just a dream and dreams are NOT real... it... its just a real scary thing and so real like. has anyone else ever experienced a dream where you feel what happened even after you woke up... is it just in my head?? How do i find out, how do i understand what is going on? Can someone please help....

Tags: i am so confused about it all.....

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2 comment(s) - 03:25 PM - 03/25/2010

Brunette Mess 39, Female, Texas, USA - 15 entries

Mar 2010
4:23 PM EST

Sweet Summertime

Life has been way too crazy and stressful lately. So at the end of April, I will be unemployed. I tried the whole 'working full-time AND going to graduate school' thing, but it ended up being too much. I feel that I am missing out on the most important schooling of my life by working at a job I don't particularly enjoy.

Ok, on to the main reason for this blog. I want to make some changes this summer. Here is the list of things I want to accomplish this summer:

1.) Work out - I've tried, but during the semester I have zero time to exercise. I really only gained a few pounds, but I want to feel healthier. My plan is to begin running, as far as I can. I'll just build from there. I hope to get up to at least 10 miles.

2.) Be more social - Currently, the last thing I want to do on the weekends is to go out and be social. Usually I just want to catch up on my sleep...and then study.� I want to go out on weekdays and meet my friends at fun places in Dallas.

3.) Join a sports team - Since I won't have much going on this summer, I want to play in an intramural league. Great way to meet people and to stay active.

4.) Spend more time with my puppy - I adopted a 2 year old black lab back in October. He is one active lab and he is always wanting to play. I feel guilty because I am usually way to busy or too tired to play. I want to spend more quality time with him.

5.) Summer school - Since I have to take summer school, I want to make the best of it. I want to actually get a feel for UTA. I want to venture around campus and see what there is to see. Currently I go to class and leave. Since I will have an advanced degree from this school, I really want to know campus.

6.) Grow out my hair - This may sound lame, but I want to spend this summer relaxing and waiting for my hair to grow. I want it looooooooong!

7.) Practice my photography - I just bought a Canon Rebel and I really excited to play with it. Hopefully I can spend this summer taking lots of pictures.

8.) RELAX - Haven't had much time to relax and figure out what's important to me. Laying out by the pool, leisure walks with my puppy, sipping' ice tea on my porch, etc. Can't wait for all of this stress to be lifting off my shoulders.

Well, that's quite a list, but I think everything is pretty do-able. I'm ready for you Summer! Bring it!

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keonyama96 31, Female, Kansas, USA - 191 entries

Mar 2010
8:56 PM EDT

Thrilled 4 league band 2 be coming up

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linnea14star 30, Female, Washington, USA - 25 entries

Mar 2010
12:42 PM EDT

Thanks

Thanks 4 all the comments u guys & girls!

Tags: YES

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auxilary25 40, Female, California, USA - 32 entries

Mar 2010
9:17 PM EDT

Is it cheating?

Yesterday I found out the wonderful news that my fiance has been flirting via e-mail with one of our coworkers. They've told each other that they find each other attractive and that they turn each other on. They've been e-mailing each other for a week now..my fiance decided to end it because he felt bad.

I'm devastated because 1) he betrayed my trust 2)He did this at the office where we both work while I was on maternity leave;I'm going back to work in a week 3) they were sloppy so now ppl know that they've been emailing.

He keeps arguing that it was wrong but it wasn't cheating because he didn't sleep with her but to ME that's a form of infidelity. When you desire someone else other than the one u are with and u tell that person u desire them then u are starting the process of cheating....u are opening the doors for something more.�

I'm so hurt I'm with my baby girl and I kicked him out because he disgusts me. I've done everything in the book to spice up our sex life after the baby and because he was "bored at work" & "needed to feel wanted" again he justifies what he did...I think it's wrong what they did....they disrespected me and he was unfaithful to me...What do u think? How would u react? Is he right or am I right?
Plz Help@!

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4 comment(s) - 06:48 AM - 09/21/2010

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