等地铁回家的小猫
�
泰康路有个艺术街, 散布着一些小画廊, 周二上午带加拿大回来的老友和她爱画画的小女儿, 抓紧时间体会一下上海的街边画趣, 循着我一个星期前探的路, 我们直奔田子坊由旧街道厂房改造的五号楼画室群, 几幅奔跑的孩子和飞翔的少女的画吸引了我们的眼球, 淡蓝, 浅绿色调清新, 朦胧水雾的表现力很强, 我们指手划脚地胡乱评论一番后, 眼神从地上放着的一个滚水的电锅转向画室的主人, 一个一脸蜡黄并留着灰胡子的东北汉子身上, 他跟我们主动寒暄, 我突然崩出一句没头没脑的话: “就这样?”, 画师漫不经心地回了句, “也只能这样!” “锅里煮的是两只玉米, 我就是兜里有三十万, 也不会去住五星级酒店, 我觉得那就是堕落!”� “现实的都市生活太过奢侈复杂了, 我想多画点简单纯真和自然的东西, 多找回点大家心里失去的东西. 我小时候, 一睁眼就能看到地平线. 我画的是童年乡间的记忆和感觉.” “我的画目前在国内没市场, 兴许要再耐心等上5-6年吧.”
“我收过一个香港的白领做学生, 我教他画自己的内心体验, 他告诉我, 他想家, 还特别地想念他们家的猫, 我让他先选一个可以折射自己感受的载体, 他选择地铁, 他拍了几百张地铁的照片, 选了一张表现力强的地铁画面, 画了一只猫在空旷的地铁站台上等地铁回家.� 这幅画很快就被一个老外看上, 花1,500元买走了. 有情感的作品是能打动人的. 技巧是其次.”
主动承认自己的作品没市场的画师应该算是诚恳了. 但愿他的‘童年梦呓’ 会有未来市场. 回家的路上, 朋友觉得画师的 ‘画’和 ‘话’ 都很有意思, 直到送她上火车站的路上, 她还在回味画师的感慨, “他说得挺对的”.
是啊, 在一个平常的时候, 一个平常人说的一句平常的话, 并不见得离真理很远.
10:00 - There are two things I need to say right up front.�
1. I caught a cold yesterday and I'm miserable today.
2. When Becky asked me about the "cannot resolve DN" yesterday, the _first_ thing I asked was "did anyone check the LDAP account?" and she told me they didn't use LDAP.� I asked "Are you _sure_?� I think DN is short for Distinguised Name, that's LDAP.� This is a WAS server.� I'm pretty sure this means Distinguished Name and not Domain Name."
-- It was an LDAP issue.� One thing that really tweaks me is spinning cycles on bad information.� People who make me run around in circles because they give me bad info should have to do my laundry or something.� They should be flogged with wet noodles and have to swim 3 laps in earthworm soup.� That is all.�
-- Chez and I had a good time at the Mercury game last night.� She said she'll be my wingman when we go out.� lol.� For some reason that really cracks me up.� I can tell that she's a good hearted person.� I think she's got a restless soul, I really hope Kellie turns out to be good for her.
-- The box seats were really neat, but we snuck down to the floor and sat in about the 17th row to watch the second half.� I'm not much of a sports fan at all, but I'll have to admit it was fun to watch and just be around lots of enthusiastic people.� The game was good, clean, family entertainment.� Even if the prices were unreal.
--
Today�we have another chance to move forward. We talked about everything last night and we came away feeling optomistic.
Here's what happened yesterday:
Lori got their invitation to Mandy's engagement party and emailed me that they wouldn't be coming. She says what we thought she'd say: It's Ryan' s b-day. They�want to take him out for dinner, and that she already had a gig to attend� during the�day with Milana. While she tells me how special becoming engaged is, and that she realizes that Mandy is leaving for Portland soon, she's "so bummed" to decline the invitation.
We saw this coming. We feared our reactions. We avoided our fear ruling our actions, (so far).
I think that our relationship with Lori is precious to us. We need to protect it. Don't let this come between us - (and boy it could!)�
Here's the core issue at hand: We believe that Lori's excuse�is a smoke-screen for her real reason. That reason�is what�has the potential to damage our relationship the most, we believe that she grapples with our daughter being gay and is afraid to attend this party because it would be in her face too much.�I think she hasn't dealt with it�since Mandy came out 5yrs. ago. She's had opportunity but side-stepped it.�
There is always the chance that I am wrong. (One could always hope).�
I responded to her�email in as few words possible, just a couple sentences to say that her family comes first,�that�I understand and they'd be missed. She responded quickly, revealing some back-peddling on her story: she�corrects me in that, "we are�her family", she points out that because of Ryan's b-day�even her plans for that day were iffie (which�establishes their priority is their family)�Lastly, she hands the baton to Luis (pointing out her lack of authority in making decisions), which in my opinion is another effort to side-step.
Wait for it... I'm sure a total effort at diverting my attention will come today.
What she doesn't know is that whatever they decide will be accepted, we will love them through this. Allowed to be 'off the hook' may bring an enlightenment for them.
Everyone� in their own time.
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很奇怪, 虽为隐身居士, 自六月开始我竟像猴子一样忙起来了. 在国际化大环境里, 上海成了全球都市中的新宠, 我不得不在新形势下, 匆忙就任陈宅 ‘礼宾司长’ 这样的高职, 迎来四海宾客, 送走五洲亲朋. 先是送别英国长者, 美国表妹随后登陆, 接下来是加国的老友和孩子旋风造访, 香港的朋友们周末即到.
一年中这种工作密度并不多见, 我拿出十八般武艺, 穿梭在各种角色之间. 老友就像布纹瓜, 面见老, 心还嫩. 十几岁的孩子都玩酷, 你真得比他(她)还酷, 啥就都能搞定了. 若让来访的小客人乐起来就证明你情商不低. 面对内向的朋友得跟他一块深沉. 在开朗的朋友面前随便些就令他们感到更加自在. 最来劲的是跟15年未见的老友就着一杯咖啡, 甜酸苦辣地大聊神侃.
大浪淘沙沉淀下来的友情. 是高档奢侈品. 要小心呵护, 认真欣赏.
hah!� Slept late today too.� Didn't get out of the shower till a little after 9.
09:15 - dialed into the 9am OPS/ENG bridge.� Missed all the SAN stuff, but Mr. T said I already knew it and they just proceeded.� One Q about when PFF is going live, but I don't know the actual date.� PROD build starts July 1, that's all I know for sure.� I don't have the firm GO LIVE date.� (Fuck, it was suppsed to be March 15.)
9:50 - Pasted in yesterday's entry & Mr. T said we'll meet at 10:20 today for the weekly staph meating.� No problem.
10 - Need to figure out what I'm working on today.� My brain is scattered to the corners of the Earth.� Email exchange with "Windy Day Girl", we talked about having lunch sometime next week up in Skittsdale.� I go almost 3 years without meeting any intelligent, attractive lesbians, and suddenly they're falling out of the sky.� :)� Lucky me.
10:30 - Staph meating.� I can't fucking get logged into NewYork.� Every few weeks it gets fucko and won't let me in.� I even went through the Madison servers and still no-go.� Slick will look at that for me after the meating.
-- Becky will be out a few weeks starting Monday.� I know she's having a hysterectomy, but she didn't tell anyone else.� I just heard her allude to "traveling" so clearly she doesn't want to share with the boys.� I won't say a word.� (I'm aware of the fact that I just did, but you don't know her so its okay.� Privacy through Obscurity.)
-- More talk about the SAN upgrade/changes for this weekend.
-- Mid-Year reviews are coming up.
-- Lunch break.� Ran to Fry's to get cat food and a few other items.� Picked up a sammich at Subway.� Back home and working.
1:00 - Chez scored tix to a women's basketball game tonight.� I'm going to pick her up at her place and drive us both.� Only one parking pass + Chez will want a beer or two.� I'll be designated driver.
1:10 - Adjusted ticket queue.� Opened ticket for Pine disk add.� Checked status of disk add for minotaur cluster.� No forward motion.� She's probably busy working on the san switch stuff for this weekend.
1:40 - After much fucking around with our ticketing system I finally programmed 4 very useful auto-queries for myself.� One is "All tickets I've assigned to others", one is "My Active Assignments", one is "My Overdue Assignments", and the other is "All Engineering Unassigned Tickets".� I set them up to auto-start every time my system starts up, that way I can see at a glance what I've got in the works for the day.
1:45 - Started working on Pooh Bear's Oracle issues on the RHEL x_64 Delphi LM system.� Lots of packages to check/install.
�4:20 - working on weird issue for Becky.� she says:
"it's throwing this error:� [De scription: Resolving short name to full DN failed - no entry found. ]"
-- Daddy Google doesn't say much about it.� nslookup finds the hosts ok.� Dorked with the nsswitch file to make sure its looking in the right places for the names.� Checked with both short name & FQDN.� She put entries in the host table to see if it really isn't looking it up, all no good.
-- started watching network traffic as she was working with the developers, filtered out her IP, mine, and a few others to get a better handle on what's flowing where.� Flipped the nameservers around and even had it start querying the PROD NS instead of the LM NS, but no go.
-- Becky asked the developers to use the old code.� They said it works, old code, old servers.� Try the old code with the new servers, and it doesn't work.� Asked her to have them try the "old servers" with the "new code" to see if that works.� It might tell me if the problem is a configuration issue with the new servers, or if the new servers aren't configured properly in DNS.
-- 5:10 pm and I need to get my shit together to meet Chez.� Sent email to Slick and Grandpa Simpson to check the DNS on fosters in the AM.
I'm OUT!
Ok so i just got back from a run...n my friend whos goin into the navy who didnt go to trainin wit my last thursday kept stoppin....grrr last thursday i did SOOOOO good did it all wit out stoppin n i wanted to do it again tonight....guess imma just have to do it tomorrow night. sigh....
Okay now beside that things have kinda gottin better...i think we found a job to make some good money....soo yeah we are kinda excited about it!!!
but since i havent posted anything in a bit might just drop by n leave some thing...
OHHH btw yesterday i was out in P-town n saw a REALLLLLY� hott ass guy well my friend n i were like DAMN� n he heard us n we drove around the block cuz we were also waitin on her sister n mom...well i got out n put my number on his window n he called me today....ummm exciting lol
Today is the first day of a new journal.
I'm excited to get started on a new way of journaling. I've been away from it for too long.
Where do I start?
First things first I guess. I haven't been to the gym for 2wks (?) something like that. I cried last night when I talked about it to Bear. I'm very disappointed with myself. I've had a standard to uphold for many years and I'm letting myself down. Yet even this minute I'm choosing to do this instead of going for a walk, which will be a first since last weekend. "This is more important. I just need some time." That's what I've been telling myself. also, "I'll be getting back to it, as soon as the pressure lets up."
The second thing, (and I'm not so sure I'm able to put them in perfect order), is Dan and his walk of shame as I think of it.�Since he came and told me of how he got fired from his dream job I've had a heavy feeling in my gut. I feel like I have a bolder in my stomach. I'm terribly sad, disappointed, ashamed, and a bit mad. The mad part grows a tad every so often as he doesn't seem to get the urgencey of finding a new job. Hello?? Money's running out and then your bills become our bills!! I get the attitude that this is sort of like a vacation to him, "haha lets go to the beach!" All I can do is�stay focused on what we expect�from him and stay clear that my fears are not realities - yet.
Next:
Mandy's move to Portland. YIKES!!�This one is the hardest for me to swallow.�A loaded gun for sure. Not going to go there right now, later.
Last:� (i hope)
The marriage of Mandy & Scarlet.�
these are my biggies these days. things I can't�talk�about so well. bear listens but he's not enough for my head. i will write until i can feel the release. this is what i used to do but gave up on the pen and book method. online? lets see how this goes.
9am - woke up late.� fuuuuuck.� I have to be at the office at 11 for the 11-1pm (lunch) meeting.�
9:20 - Chez wants to have lunch this week.� Told her I'm in the office today so maybe we can have coffee after I'm finished with my meetings.� She's up for it.� Kinda' strange, I'm not sure exactly why she wants to go out.� I think she's being flirty, which is totally cool with me.�
11:10 a little late to the meeting, nobody is here anyway.� Mr. T and Slick are sitting there staring at the phone.� Apparently Thug and Cartman didn't see the need to come in for this presentation and Margie got sidetracked with some fucko SAN problem.� Grandpa Simpson isn't in the office, he's working with Margie on something.
11:20 Gpa Simpson comes back, let's get started.
0000
-- We finished the meeting after going over the same data 3 times for people with ADHD.� Two people didn't bring their homework.� Asshats. �
-- Long protracted discussion about some SAN remediation project that's rolling this weekend.� Nobody consulted Engineering.� Nice.� OPS guys (Margie, Mac, Stewie, etc) are upgrading firmware on one of our SAN Switches and will need to shut down all the 2.5 boxes.� Which means ENG has to shut them down because OPS isn't allowed to touch them.
-- Requested Friday off.� lol.� Fuck 'em, I'm not staying all weekend for that and Tom and I were talking about going to San Diego anyway.
-- Got a cup of coffee with Chez.� We went to the coffee shop I worked at last summer (so I could learn how to make good coffee), and I found out that the owner sold it.� I was just thinking about buying the place a few days ago.� Very strange.� They've added a few little things and changed the atmosphere a little.� I hope it does well.
-- Chez is adorable.� just _adorable_� We had a nice time chatting and then went back to the office.� She gave me her number.� woot.� :)
-- Stood around and fucked off the rest of the afternoon.� Which wasn't really that long when I think about it.� It was aftter 1:30 before we got back from lunch, nearly 2pm before Chez and I went for coffee, and probably 2:25 before we got back to the office.�
-- Long "hallway" conversations with Slick, Mr. T, Watts, and others about work happening this weekend, bills from COX for my home connection that weren't getting sent to NW for payment, and just about everything else you can imagine.
-- Told Slick that I was going to go out for coffee with Chez.� He caught the funny.� lol.
-- Chez asked me to go out after work, actually asked me to split at 4 and go to a sports bar close to her place.� We went and had a drink.� She had 3 beers, I had a long-island-iced-tea.� nummy stuff.� She's a real sweety.� We're going to hang out more frequently and perhaps go to basketball games & maybe catch a beer now & then.� yay.
-- Ended up working a little late last night because I fucked off all day.� Got home around 7:30.� Bed by 1am.� yay.
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