Phyl's Flashes

 
    
18
Jun 2008
1:51 AM PDT
   

Day One 6-18-08

Today is the first day of a new journal.

I'm excited to get started on a new way of journaling. I've been away from it for too long.

Where do I start?

First things first I guess. I haven't been to the gym for 2wks (?) something like that. I cried last night when I talked about it to Bear. I'm very disappointed with myself. I've had a standard to uphold for many years and I'm letting myself down. Yet even this minute I'm choosing to do this instead of going for a walk, which will be a first since last weekend. "This is more important. I just need some time." That's what I've been telling myself. also, "I'll be getting back to it, as soon as the pressure lets up."

The second thing, (and I'm not so sure I'm able to put them in perfect order), is Dan and his walk of shame as I think of it.�Since he came and told me of how he got fired from his dream job I've had a heavy feeling in my gut. I feel like I have a bolder in my stomach. I'm terribly sad, disappointed, ashamed, and a bit mad. The mad part grows a tad every so often as he doesn't seem to get the urgencey of finding a new job. Hello?? Money's running out and then your bills become our bills!! I get the attitude that this is sort of like a vacation to him, "haha lets go to the beach!" All I can do is�stay focused on what we expect�from him and stay clear that my fears are not realities - yet.

Next:

Mandy's move to Portland. YIKES!!�This one is the hardest for me to swallow.�A loaded gun for sure. Not going to go there right now, later.

Last:� (i hope)

The marriage of Mandy & Scarlet.�

these are my biggies these days. things I can't�talk�about so well. bear listens but he's not enough for my head. i will write until i can feel the release. this is what i used to do but gave up on the pen and book method. online? lets see how this goes.

Tags: job, marriage, move
Add Comment:

Current Tags: job, marriage, move

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )





Kitten's Profile

  • Username: Kitten
  • Gender / Age: Female, 69
  • Location: USA - California
  •  
     
    Photo Album

    1-2 of 2
     
     
    KITTEN's Interests:

    About Me: I'm a wife for life. Mother of four, grandmother of three. And then there's ME, I like scarie movies, Stephen King books, cross-stitching, gardening, exercising with my gal-pals, walks with my boyfriend and Chardonnay at the end of the day.