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The glass has shattered,

My soul now battered...

Theres no way out,

Dark figures lurk about...

All I�hear are their screams...

Knowing all to well there ment for me...

The sun has disappeard,

No longer able to hides its fear...

I dont know what went wrong,

And yet I�did all along...

You took away my dreams,

Ending my voyage to recovery...

I�feel like Im doped up on novacaine, speed? crystal maybe? Not that I would know. All I�know is that I feel numb. Numb right down to the core. Its as if my world is spinning out of control... Dont you ever wonder what it would feel like to be "happy" (high?) just to be able to float away for a little while�and forget about everthing?�

One of these days Im going to completely lose it. My friends already say Im crazy, but they have'nt seen crazy not yet... Im so tired of fighting the baattle inside my head. Its gone on far to long. I�want to forget, but then I�forget to forget. I've dropped hints before that I�need help. Except theres one tiny problem that you forgot to factor in, you ready for it?? No one can help, at least thats how I�feel, because this is battle I'll have to fight on my own whether or not I�like it.

I want to be bad, just for a sec, I�swear. I�want to know what it would feel like. Is it as fun as its made out to be?? Yes? no? I�want to go to parties, oh wait! cant!! Why? well theres two problems: 1. I�never seem to get invited, anywhere!!! 2. My rents are total control freaks. Hey dont you think it would be fun to T-P someones house? This one person I�know..... Anyways, lol. Well Im through babbling for now. Tootles!

p.s. do you by chance know where I can get cheap toilet paper??

p.s.s. I kidding, really I�am! well maybe...

�One of my many rewarding hobbies is exchanging e-mails with people that I don't know. I have gotten to know a few people that way. Some are fun and interesting, some are serious, and some are just good sports. Only one person has resulted in a real-life meeting, that was about a year ago and we are still good friends. Soon, I am going to meet another one of my victims, er I mean friends. He is the best, funniest e-mail friend ever. It turns out that we live in the same neighborhood and he has often walked past my house. I think the fact that he was noticing my house before he knew me is an indication of pre-stalking behavior.

We have not exchanged many details regarding our personal appearance. I want to meet in a crowded public place and see if we can figure out who the other person is without any additional clues. He seems a little unclear on the concept, but he is fun, so I am sure he will go along with my brilliant scheme.

"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think of my dear friend, Tony, as I read this. He lives these words, and I know that's why I had the dream that I did the other night.

please,

don't hurt me.

I've cried so hard to day.

looking for that little girl,

that i used to be.

now im confused!

what happened between me and you?

over and over we break,

over and overe we're missed. just let me find you.

beyond the midst of misfourtane.

What is it about school that just makes it suck or makes it the best thing ever!so confudiling but i no life is harder than that life is like being traped in a box and you caint get out till your parents unlock u because they still think that ur their lil kid!!!!!!!!!!! It bugs me and then they think that they can tell you what to do at any time a nothing is ever good enough!!! woh said that PERFACT�was what we are supposedt to be kids not saints!!!!!!!!!!!! When was life a mystery and when was kindergarden the uter most favorite years of ur life! And when did the lil girl inside of me leave and how can i get her back! Because thats who my mom wants is that lil girl not me!!!!!!!!

SO� one of my good friends and her baby moved in (baby only 5months) is fine n dandy till she starts waking me up in the mid of the night jus to hold her while she makes a bottle, or if she cant go back to sleep she gets fusterated and give her to me...she does nothin to help around the house, oh she works so does my mom n she has time to come home clean cook dinner and do something, friend jus comes home and sits on her ass..i watch the baby all the time what do i get nothing for it oh ill buy u jean or something when time come i get NOTHING..i think i might just ask for cash instead...she best not b expecting me to watch her baby when she goes out to a house party tonight to see all her friends HELL NO i am not going to...oh and she is plannin a trip to� AZ and to L.V. but leavin baby with baby dad's mom well now baby daddy's mom is moving now she wants me to watch her...there sacrafics u have to give up and one is your ability to travel and shit...UGH

Does anyone know how i should approach her and tell her how i feel with out sounding mean???????