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--- Sam Nejad

This is my first ride with this group.

my name is kokokaka...it is weird name but what can i do....my parent choosed....but luckly im clever and smart.....da....im not trying to show of...but im telling the truth...i get 5A's for my upsr...that's all about me...i guess so...babai...

I think I must be the dumbest person of earth! Seriously! I gave in. I went back home and let him back in. And I shouldn't have done it so easily but I did. It's hard to let someone you love go and even harder to watch them go down the wrong path. I can't watch him do this and not help him. It's a sad thing really!

Even more sad is the fact that he has the checkbook. I am SO taking them from his truck and his safe when he doesn't know it. I can't have him overdrawing our account all the time because he's not responsible enough or doesn't care enough to check the balance! So now this is the second or third time he has overdrawn our account! How can he do this? Go out and spend it on beer and drugs! It makes me so damn angry! I am stopping direct deposit to that account and putting it into WaMu! Damn it! UUUGGHH! Or maybe I'll open myself up a second account! That is exactly what i'll do! right now! online! later, got stuff to do!

I guess everything is changing, and I dunno what I think about any of this. I feel betrayed by friends, and a lot of things are frustrated me. I guess becoming close with new people, cause the old ones to start drifting.. I can't really write much on here, I feel like I can't even trust a personal website, where you're suppose to write everything. I feel like not many people can be trusted anymore, and let alone something like this. It is so annoying how shitty and low people will go, just for someone else. I guess this isn't even entirely about me, well actually very little of it is. I see one of my new really close friends, constantly being betrayed by a lot of people, and I relized how shitty people are now of days. How they will do anything, just to make them feel superior, when really it makes you shittier then the person before you. So many people are like this now, so many people suck at being a good friends, and good friends seem really impossible to find. I am so glad, that I now keep my guard up a lot more then I use to. I don't know what I would do, if every day passed and I had to worry about someone betraying me. It doesn't seem to matter how close you are anymore, because everyone seems to just love to do it, and its happened more then it should have to me in the past.

Well things with Ryley and I have improved again. I think...Im not so worried, because I have a feeling that most of the issues came from stress from school. So not only did our small issues seem huge because of the stress I was already feeling...but they got blown WAY more out of proportion. Anyways...Im glad to be with him. He is really sensitive to my needs and feelings. Its great to have a guy who will try to make me happy any way he can. If I am unhappy he try's to help any way, and if its because of him he tries to fix the problems. Its not like 100% but no relatioship is, and I am greatful to have such a good man in my life. Anyways....That is about all I have to say. Have a wonderful evening!!

Blair was up when i got home and his whole agenda was for me to meet his mom. I was nervous and excited. We went to flea market to drop off laptop at the kernal's. We then went to petersburg and he was pissed cuz we had to have his tire fixed cuz he done messed up the rim. It got fixed but he blamed it on potholes in richmond. lol His mom was really nice. Blair and I are gonna be moving with each other and Im excited about that as well. We gon make this work! We then went to pick up my car and my laptop and shot to my uncle's house and i went to see curuchi and tito who live across from each other. We also got to see my twin cousins stephany and her sis. Stephany likes to travel and even went to chicago, holla. Nano was there. We were asked to stay for dinner but I thought Blair wasnt up for it so I said I had to go to work which was true. Blair actually wanted to stay! Poorcommunication on my part. Well at home, I put Blair to cook. He made this steaks that came out really good. Ihad the rice and beans. His plate was spic and span. I'm glad he enjoyed it cus boy is he picky. We went to sleep till I had to get up and he basically dragged me off the bed so i can wake up. lol

Dear Diary

I fought w/ my boyfriend but i missed hima lot that's why ive called him and he andwe went to the beach,holding hands together....then he apologized for all the things that he have done,and we kissed, we hugged...it was so romantic..then suddenly he grabed me and kissed my nose......then i was so shocked bcoz he put a kiss mark in my nose and i got angry...but after few minutes i was ok....hmmm..that's it...anyway..ill just write it later on.....im just busy right now....

DEDICATED TO SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL (YES YOU Ä")

Today is the beginning of my new life.

I am starting over today.

All good things are coming to me today

I am grateful to be alive

I see beauty all around me

I live with passion and purpose

I take time to laugh and play everyday

I am awake, energized and alive

I focus on all the good stuff in life

and give thanks for them

I am with peace and one in everything

I feel the love, the joy, the abundance

I am free to myself

I am magnificence in human form

I am the perfection of life

I am grateful to be

ME !!

Today is the best day of my life

EVERYDAY !!!!!

With love yr friend Dangles.

I'm so fucking bored! Mike just left with nick to go to the auto parts store. Sure I don't need anything there or want anything, especially cuz I have no money, but I'd at least like to go along for the ride. I don't have my own car. I can't leave if I want to, so now I"m stuck at his house. Hell maybe should've stayed home, would've been the same thing. Sitting around with nothing to do but watch tv or play video games. God I hate being bitchy or moody or whatever. Maybe it's because of everything going on and it's bothering me. And my knees hurting so much. Listening to music helps. Mike called me a damn hippy because I had his stereo shaking the walls, lol. Oops. I like my music loud and love to rock out.Listening to Nickleback now. Nothing going on on myspace, nothing at all.Trying to figure out how to put pictures on there, not working too well. I need to figure out how the fuck to put music on my little card for the mp3 player in my p hone.Hell so much stuff that's pissing me off and can't figure it out. Fuck it