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Hey guys!

I do Fencing (fencing is a sport) and I have a competition that I'm going to in a few weeks. Right now I practice 2 days a week and I'm not learning fast enough for me to be a much better fencer by the time my competition comes, so I asked my mother if I could go an extra day (the extra day would be free) and she said that I could'nt, because I am already gone 2nights a week . I really need to get another day of practice in but my mom won't let me. I need some help on what I can do to convince her to let me go.

Please respond. Any ideas are great :)

-Kaylee

Hey guys WOO HOO im going to Flordia! I can't wait put i will be posting stuff every day so see ya later bye.

Time: 12:30

Mood: Happy.

Funeral thursday Feb 28, 2008 10:30 am at caliento church.

Viewing on Wednesday Feb 27, 2:00-7:30 prayers 7:30 Vita funeral home.

Love is when you see all that you are in another person's eyes... and that is beautiful...

Love is holding hands as you walk or talk... and you smile and you cry!

Love is seeing a beautiful reflection in the mirror of your life!

Hi you person who reads this,

Today is still boring. I have to start with my homework, but I don't want to! I feel nervous and tired at the same time. Yesterday I went to the cinema with my friends and I can't stop thinking about it. I mean, we had so much fun and we laughed. It's still weird to me. Because I never had such cool friends. I feel really respected for the first time! I still remember school, I had friends but... they weren't like friends. They hated me. And all the kids teased me. I think that was until the six grade. But know I'm on the 'next school'. I don't know how it's called in English... I am 13 years old and in 'the second grade'. I don't know how to explain it. Now I'm on this 'next school' I finally feel respected and cared. I remember one time, my friend told me. I was sick for two days and I couldn't go to school. And everybody in my class was worried. They kept asking my friends where I was. And kept asking when I was coming back. It was so awesome. But still I have some 'enemies'. Not enemies, but people who don't like me. I didn't do anything, they find me ignorant. But I know, you can't be respected by everyone, right? Today I'm going shopping with a friend, my best, best friend. But my mom and dad aren't at home. My friend is still asleep... So have to wait. And I'm so excited! Later this day, I'll write stuff that's more interesting. Because, my diary is quiet boring so far.

Bye!

P.s: I am not English, so my text could be incorrect.

"My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living water, and dug out cisterns for themselves, cracked cisterns that can hold no water" (Jer. 2:13).

As I was sharing with someone what the Lord had shown me about approval, he showed me more. The scripture above says it all.

There is one source of all approval - Him. Any approval (blessing/declared to be satisfactory) that comes to me through others has its source in Him. And the fact is, we usually seek approval from those we esteem. I have a tendency to seek it from those I consider better than myself or higher than myself. All of this happens subconsciously, of course - but it happens nonetheless. And it affects my daily experience and relationships. The truth is this: that God alone is the source of my approval. Anytime I think a person is the source, I will be disappointed and hurt. God, in his mercy, has stacked the deck and cornered the market on approval. Thanks be to God!

I'm sitting here by myself in the hotel room. Steven is downstairs working on some project downstairs in the lobby. Leaving me to be myself, im left alone with nothing else but my thoughts and feelings.

While, i'm glad to be going home back to sunny san diego (even tho i hear that its raining) i dont want to leave. I've found myself feeling so god damn comfortable. Sleeping next to him, waking up next to him- being in his arms. He makes love to me and i can do nothing but look into his eyes. I like.. no, i love the way he looks at me when he's inside me. our eyes connect and its just something special. Well, it is to me- i dont know what he thinks. He tells me i'm beautiful or how fucking hot I am. But you know men- for all i know, i could seriously just be being used for sex. It's nothing new to me- used and abused. Sometimes I wished I didnt feel. Just be able to enjoy the feeling, without having those feelings of wanting something more. Something deeper... i can't help it. i wear my fragile heart on my sleeve. I expect so much - i wish i expected NOTHING. Take it for what it is- day by day. But no.. i'm fucked up. i hurt myself.. for absolutely nothing. There's nothing for me to feel sad for. i should only be feeling happiness.. i really should. But its not like that. not at all. its that clock ticking inside of me. Wanting to know.. wished he would tell me how he felt. I can believe i even let my feelings known, and he doesnt really say anything.... not that he has to - probably haw nothing to say. Probably feels nothing- to that extend. Just enjoys my company- enjoys my body. nothing more nothing less. can't ask him- cuz he wont really answer..... i already know.

I'm watching him work across the table from him. His eyes so intense... i love his jaw line, so defined. glasses on, glasses off- he's so sexy. I really can't stand it.

It really is my fault. I'm just attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable to me when i all i want is their love. Or they are the men who show their love in ways that are unknown to me. He's already admitted he's not the romantic type of guy- and here i am, ms. hopeless romantic... mismatch in heaven? Do i just learn how to deal? I guess i have no other choice.