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        PoeticPurple  38, Female, Michigan, USA - First entry!
    01
    Oct 2011
    4:23 AM CST
       

    Car Flames, Childish Games

    I'm a nervous wreck tonight. Peeking out windows every five minutes, my heart pounding, in constant fear. A feeling i was once familiar with. And all because of early today when i was awaken by a school girl wearing a pink book bag with a ponytail, constantly banging on my porch windows. peeking out the window the girl seem frighten, in a panic, then she ran off. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Puzzled i sat back on the couch and later she ran back banging on my windows and doors again. Something wasn't right at all. i started looking through windows all around my house and discovered my car in the backyard were in flames! I was in a brief shock. But i hurried and grab a weapon and my son (4 year old ) and ran out the house looking for help. ( Perfect timing, I don't even have a working phone this week). By time i got outside the firefighters were pulling up and put the flames out. My car? A disaster! To deepen the mystery my car caught fire from the rear and its been parked since 1:00pm.. The firefighter said usually it would have started in the front of the car, under my hood where all the wires, engine, etc. Then he asked did i have any enemies. I don't know anyone, i have no friends, and the only people i associate with is my 2 cousins. The only person i can imagine who would possibly do something like this to me would be him. the man who says he loves me then turn around and put me down, call me names, breaks in my home, threatens to kill me, and have pulled a gun out on me once before to scare me, then turns around and say hes change and wants to be a family,� but always retaliate against me when i don't do as he say.� Petty things such as not calling or not coming to see him when he wants me too... But this..? I try not to believe he would go this far, to that extreme that if it wasn't for that girl banging on my window, me deciding to sleep in the living room to even hear her knocking, or someone calling the firefighters. All this could of resulted into something much more worse then a burnt car but the lives of me and his son. He uses a lot of mind control but never have physically abuse me. But im smart enough to know how things can escalate from one behavior to another.� I say im smart enough to know better, but dumb enough to have forgiven in the first place. After all the chaos he has caused in the past. When will i finally realize enough is enough? i never fought back like him. so why not bully me if i allow him too? i only separate myself from him time after time.I cant be afraid, and i cant allow guilt to return. Gotta find the strength to stay away and be done with this man completely and face the consequences that follow. Because continuing to deal with him will result into someone truly getting hurt. And i would not be able to live with myself if something ever happens to my son. he hasn't changed, and he wont change. I'm the one who needs to change. change for the stronger, the better, the wiser, the brave..... wont sleep till dawn though. Lord give me strength!
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        tami2005  39, Female, Alabama, USA - 12 entries
    01
    Oct 2011
    5:03 PM CST
       

    I want you to know that I love you and I have enjoyed the times that we have shared and no matter what happens in the future I will always love you. You have brought such meaning to my life...you are the reason that I wake up in the mornings and the dreams that I dream about at night. You said that you needed your space and I am trying to respect you and your wishes but it is so hard to do.....knowing that within my heart I want to touch you and to kiss you and to let you know how much my heart yearns for you.....maybe one day you will come back to me and we can be as happy as we once were but until that day I will always have the memories of the times that we have shared and know my angel that I will never forget and that you will always be in my heart...I love you my heavenly angel......now and forever
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        Browneyedbomb  67, Female, Texas, USA - 11 entries
    27
    Sep 2011
    7:03 PM
       

    One day I had planned to walk through the woods down to a small river & sit on a rock. Then...just....be. I'll get there one day. I hope..
    Tags: lost dreams, Wishes
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        Browneyedbomb  67, Female, Texas, USA - 11 entries
    27
    Sep 2011
    4:39 PM EST
       

    Dazed & confused where did the come Frm? I need more info.

    �

    �

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        maiyaestes  28, Female, Indiana, USA - 13 entries
    22
    Sep 2011
    7:05 PM CST
       

    5 month anniversary (: <3 lol,yay. Finally said 'Happy Anniversary' back to me and he really did make my day :D <3
    Tags: Love (:
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        jazziette  67, Female, Arizona, USA - 7 entries
    18
    Sep 2011
    9:41 PM CST
       

    Spreading my gossamer wings...


    It's time to come out of the cocoon and to taste the beautiful and exotic mystery of life once more.

    Breathe deep.....feel the unparallelled freedom of letting go!

    Bask in the intoxication of your very own unique and exquisite being.

    Time to fly again....like the miracle of the butterfly.




    Tags: adventure, depression, jazziette, life, love, rebirth, spiritual
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    1 comment(s) - 10:33 PM - 11/01/2014
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        maiyaestes  28, Female, Indiana, USA - 13 entries
    17
    Sep 2011
    8:43 PM CST
       

    Trying to learn the Beyonce song 'Best Thing i Never Had' i really like this song now :D <3 lol
    Tags: Beyonce, singing
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        tami2005  39, Female, Alabama, USA - 12 entries
    17
    Sep 2011
    5:04 PM CST
       

    I remember the way you use to kiss my lips and the way that your hands would ever so softly rub my skin and I think of the raging passion that I felt inside and I wonder could I ever feel that way again. You are an angel that was sent to me by heaven above. We shared more than our thoughts...we shared our lives, our hearts, and our souls. Together we laid� in a bed of love that only could come from above. I told you I would always love you and I do still love you till this day but the problem now is that the situation is more complicated that what it was....I can not just walk out of her door....I still love her but I love you more so the question then becomes what do I do...Do I stay or do I go or do I just get to love you when the chance comes along.....then the question becomes the next time that you make love to me what will I feel....will I stay or will I go.....the way you look and the way you dress is enough in itself to drive me crazy.....you were my first true love and I will never forget the moments of love that we shared and I just wonder when will I feel that way again.

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        maiyaestes  28, Female, Indiana, USA - 13 entries
    16
    Sep 2011
    3:55 PM CST
       

    lol,i just went through the window and i just gave a guy the middle finger and it felt amazing :D
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        millicent  65, Female, United Kingdom - 130 entries
    15
    Sep 2011
    3:50 AM
       

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