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I've decided. I deserve more, more than fake smiles and pity. I am through with going after you, I am through,�trying to be your friend. I am through with validating my self- worth through friendship and some fantasy guy that I've made part of my day. I am through with being trampled on: I am�through with all of these insecurities! Romance like in movies are never to happen in real life. Realisticly, we are never to find true love. Why? Because it does not exist! Why do I have to wait until you decide what you want? And why does it take so long for me to get what I want? All I want is to be loved. Is that too much to ask?! I don't want to end up like those girls who wears revealing clothes because she is needy and feels despereate for attention! Because lately, I've been finding myself walking in the streets with those booty shorts and stunning shades, and looking for what? For you. Who ever you are. At this point, any guy. The crazy thing about it is, I would not even care if some old�guy honked at me! So why should you care? Why would you sweet talk me into believing that we might have a chance in love? I am such an IDIOT! IDIOT, IDIOT, is what I've been calling myself! Because I am, to believe in you. You know I have daddy issues, that is why no matter how much you hurt me, I'll just crave�for �you more, because you are toxic.