view member journals

 

Search All Journals

    
You searched for: Gender: Female
    sexiicupcake  35, Female, Ohio, USA - 25 entries
18
Sep 2007
6:21 AM EDT
   

heyy everyone whats been going on?? Ok so over this past summer i will admit that some crazyy shit went on?? I mean me and roger broke up which you all know and than a few weeks later i had sex with this kid rick who roger knows very well.. ricky used to date rogers twin sister.. ok soo i mean me and rick just thought it was gunna be a one nite stand than i realized it couldnt be cause i am not like that.. He said he wasnt ready to date me and recently he's been telling me all this shit about being exclusive with each other because wen were not together he hates to think of me with another guy.. I mean what can i do.. Soo we hung the other day and accidently did it but the thing i dont get is why after every time he stops talking to me i mean honestly..This kid is like everything to me.. He is the only boy that i have told almost my whole life too.. I mean he is my best friend but than my lover at the same time.. We were talking the other day and he told me something that shocked me.. And he thought i would be madd but i cnat be mad over something like that cause it will just make it worse and than that wont be good..soo i told him i would be there for him through it and its cause i care abvout him to much to see him hurt.. He told me he likes me and thats not a problem and that wanting to be with me isnt a problem he keeps telling me he's the problem cause hes not perfect.. But hey who is perfect.. no one.. Im a pretty shitty person.. The one guy i think i love wont give me a chance cause he thinks he will get rach back and the thing is she doesnt want him.. I mean i dont understand why he wont just give me a chance see what happens..ya know.. he said when he comes back from dayton on friday we are gunna hang more and see if anything sparks.. I cant promise it will all i can do is hope becaus ei actually think i am in love with this kid iwould do anything for him..well im gunna go pleas etell me what you think pleaseeee

<3 Judi
Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    yanpu  41, Female, California, USA - 10 entries
18
Sep 2007
6:05 AM EDT
   

I want to let everyone know that in my entries there might be random spelling mistakes or words that are pusehd together or pulled apart. This is because this website is very rudimentary and the fromatting gets weird sometimes. So on that note, sorry in advance for any confusions within my posts.

Enjoy Reading!
Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    yanpu  41, Female, California, USA - 10 entries
18
Sep 2007
5:21 AM EDT
   

OLD POSTS

Listed below are entries that I have moved over from my previously blog which is now banned. This way people can just access one site and recieve all the information.

August 17th

I'm going to save the world, duh! Well, actually a small piece of the world. I am working with the Stanford Asian Liver Center to vaccinate more than half a million school children in the province of Qinghai, China against Hepatitis B. Now you might be thinking why Hepatitis B?

Well let me explain…

Hepatitis B (HBV) is a little virus that is causing a GLOBAL EPIDEMIC. Approximately 400 million people worldwide are living with chronic HBV infection (compared to 40 million for HIV/AIDS). Of that 400 million, 2/3 live in Asia, with 130 million in China alone. Even though an effective vaccine as been developed since 1986, HBV kills approximately 1 million people each year. Every 30 -45 seconds, one person dies from this vaccine-preventable disease.

I will be leaving the US in 4 days to fly off to China to do my part in helping to eradicate this disease!

August 19th

For the next year I will be traveling throughout the province of Qinghai, China going from city to city to vaccinate and educate the schools about HBV.

Why Qinghai?

1) It has one of the highest HBV rates in China.

2) It is one of the most impoverished provinces in the country.

3) Healthcare is either inaccessible or unaffordable.

Here is a little background info (from the limited information on the web) on Qinghai. The province is approximately the same size as Texas and is located on the northeast side of Tibet. It was historically part of the Silk Road.

Qinghai is approximately 10,000 feet above sea level. The weather in Qinghai can be very harsh and unpredictable. The average temperature ranges from 23F - 46F. During the winter time the temperature can easily drop to below zero Fahrenheit. The area is also prone to high winds and sand storms.

Most of Qinghai is very rural, with only a scattering of cities. It is one of the most impoverished areas in China. The average annual income for 80% of the population, who are farmers and sheep herders, is $315. For the 20% who are urban workers, their annual income is about $1200.

Qinghai is also a land of untouched natural beauty and home to many thriving cultures such as Tibetan and Mongolian. I am excited to explore this cultural diversity and natural richness. Through this trip I hope to paint a more vivid picture of Qinghai.


August 26th

I forgot to mention that I have a traveling partner. Her name is Julie Len. She is also apart of the project. We are the eyes and ears of the mother organization Stanford Asian Liver Center. The two of us will be ONLY ones on the ground from the US assessing and monitoring the project and then reporting back to the US.

The project has two parts: vaccination and education. The idea is that vaccination protects the body and education protects the mind. Julie and I will be watching over all aspects of the vaccination and education program.

On top of assessing and monitoring the vaccination portion of the project, Julie and I have also developed and will carry out the HBV education portion. Since there is such a large area to cover we are planning to coordinate with the local CDC to have them hold teaching seminars that can be attended by each school's health teacher or principle. This way they can learn the information and teach it to their students in their own manner. To evaluate the success of the education program, Julie and I will conduct pre and post surveys on the childrens' HBV knowledge.

When this project is complete, Qinghai will be the first province in all of China that will have an entire generation of children vaccinated and educated against HBV. We hope that the success of this project will encourage other provinces to also take part in helping to eradicate this deadly disease.


August 27th

After a month and a half of training at Stanford University, Julie and I took off for China on August 21, 2007. Our first stop was Beijing. The Chinese Foundation for Hepatitis B Prevention and Control is located in Beijing. It is the Chinese counterpart to the Stanford Asian Liver Center. We usually refer to it as the Foundation.

The Foundation is located within the Beijing CDC building. It is a nonprofit run by 6 staff members from two small offices. It is really impressive to think that these few individuals with such meager resources are working to change the course this monstrous epidemic.

Julie and I plan on staying in Beijing for the rest of August. This way we can work with the Foundation to finalize plans for the project and prepare necessary materials to bring to Qinghai. We will also be attending various press conferences so that this project can get much needed publicity.

During one of our first meetings at the Foundation we met with two British film makers, Aaron and Adam. It turns out they will be making a documentary about the HBV situation and this year's project in Qinghai. The documentary will be shown on BBC and cable networks in China. These two film makers both reside in China and mostly cover Chinese healthcare issues.

After the meeting the two film makers and some people from the Foundation took us out to dinner. During dinner, Aaron shared with us stories from all his travels throughout China. In one story he told us about how he filmed in Mongolia in the middle of winter. It was snowing so badly no one would drive him to the place where he needed to film so him and his crew all rode on horseback up the mountain to the filming location. This turned out to be a terrible idea. One false step and Aaron was thrown off his horse. He broke his ribs and was stranded in the middle of nowhere. The nearest hospital was a plane ride away. There were no cars so he had to be dragged by a snowmobile to the nearest town to catch a plan to fly to a major city. During this whole time he had no medical attention, no pain killers, just faith that he would get through it all.

Note to self: do not ride horses!

August 28th

For the past few days Julie and I have been working at the Foundation and also touring around Beijing. Since both of us have been to the major tourist sites, this time around we wanted to get more of a down home Beijing experience. Here are some stories from our Beijing exploration.

The taxi drivers in Beijing are notorious for their ruthless driving, but never had I encountered a narcoleptic taxi driver. This guy would fall sleep at every stoplight only to be woken by all the beeping from the cars behind him. I'm not talking about light dozing, it was full on snoring! He would literally start snoring in less than 30seconds after he stopped at a red light. It was totally unbelievable.

On one of the days Julie and I went to register at the American Embassy. When we got inside we saw a Starbucks. This was our second day in Beijing and the first Starbucks we had seen since we left the US. We were both really excited and started to walk towards it, but before we could get any closer a Chinese officers spoke to us in a very stern voice and told us we were not allowed to go inside. Apparently it was reserved only for embassy staff members.

My birthday is March 15, which most people in the US associate with the Ides of March. The day Julius Caesar, Dictator of the Roman Republic, was betrayed and stabbed to death by Brutus. In China, March 15 has a whole different association. It is the Chinese day of markdowns. I was told by people at the Foundation that March 15 is the day of the national sale of commercial goods. "We love March 15th because everything is one sale and everything is real. Nothing is fake!" Apparently on that day the commercial goods officers are on patrol so merchants are less likely to sell fake goods.

September 5th

Julie and I left Beijing on September 1st to fly to Qinghai. We have been in Qinghai's capital city Xining since then. Before I talk more about Qinghai I want to update everyone on events that have occurred since I last wrote.

To attract more media attention for the project, the Foundation organized three major project kick off press conferences for three major cities: Hong Kong, Beijing, and Xining. Julie and I weren't able to attend the Hong Kong conference, but we were able to attend the ones in Beijing and Xining. Each of these conferences had their own purpose. The press conference in Hong Kong was directed towards current and future donors of the project. The press conference in Beijing served as a national kickoff which was attended by national health department officials. The press conference in Xining served as the kick off for Qinghai province. This press conference was attended by the heads of Qinghai government, health department and education department.

After the Beijing press conference Julie and I flew to Xining, Qinghai. The capital of Qinghai, Xining, is a mid sized city located in a valley surrounded by rolling hills. The city is starting to become more developed. Right now it looks like Beijing in the early 90s, with a much smaller population. The majority of the people are of ethnic minority background such as Tibetan or Mongolian. When roaming the streets of Xining, you can often see a mix of Han (ethnically Chinese), Tibetan, Mongolian and Muslim people. They all intermingle and live relatively peacefully with each other.

The first few days we arrived in Qinghai we went out to see the major tourist sites: Qinghai Lake and Kumlum Tibetan Buddhist Monastery. The scenery changed dramatically as we left Xining. The urban infrastructure gave way to rolling hills and vast grasslands doted with herds of sheep and yak. Along the roads you can see various colored prayer flags strung on strings waving in the air. This is a Tibetan cultural practice. There are five different colored prayer flags representing different elements of the earth, red represents fire, blue represents sky, green represents water, yellow represents earth and white represents clouds. These flags are inscribed with Tibetan Buddhist prayers. The Tibetans believe that as the wind blows through the prayer flags, the prayers are being read and carried through the air.

Qinghai lake is located 2 ½ hours away from Xining. It is considered the largest inland salt water lake in China. Standing at the shore of Qinghai lake you are surrounded by natural beauty. Before you the calm blue water, above you the clear blue sky and behind you the rolling hills in all shades of green. We didn't quite see all that because half the time we were there it was raining. Thus instead of clear blue skies, ours was more on the gray side. The rain also made the weather pretty cold. Qinghai, with its high attitude, is known for cold weather, the rain made it even worse. To combat the cold stores surrounding Qinghai Lake were renting long wool jackets. They weren't the most fashionable jackets, but they sure served their purpose. As soon as I put on the jacket I felt a hundred times better. Since Qinghai Lake is such a major attraction, there were a lot of street vendors selling various Qinghai memorabilia such as combs made out of yak and sheep horns, animal furs (yes, animal furs right out there on the street!) and ethnic jewelry. They also had yaks and horses that tourists could ride and take pictures on. I choose to ride a Yak which was not too friendly. When I tried to take a picture beside it, it hit me with one of its horns. Now I have a sore spot on my head to remind me to think twice next time I consider getting that close to a yak.

The next stop on our tour was the Tibetan Buddhist Monastery. It is located about 30mins away from Xining. It is currently inhabited by the Panchan Lama, which is second in rank after the Dali Lama. The monastery is set up as a complex of temples. Each temple is dedicated to a different Buddha. One main temple, also the largest temple, also serves as the gathering place for all the monks. The day we visited they were at the main temple taking an exam. They sat in rolls on mats and took turns chanting prayers to the main monk. To pass the exam they needed to correctly chant all the required prayers. It was an amazing site to see! The monastery was also filled with racks of hollow barrels that were inscribed with prayers. The barrels have handles at the bottom which can be turned to spin clockwise. The idea is that by turning these barrels the inscribed prayers are being read. Many Tibetans Buddhists come to this monastery each year to pray and pay respect to the Panchan Lama. Tibetan Buddhists have a unique way of praying. It is pretty physically demanding. They start from the standing position with their hands together, palm to palm. They raise their prayer hands to the sky, then to their lips, and then to their chest. They kneel to the ground then spread their hands to their sides and slide onto the ground until they are lying completely flat. Then they slide back up and rise to the standing position. This is one prayer. Traditionally they have to do this prayer for 100,000. We were told we didn't have to do the whole thing, instead we just stayed standing and moved our prayer hands in the three positions and bowed. We were also told to never point at a Buddha, instead to gesture with our palms facing upward. The tour was such an awesome experience!

The last thing I want to mention is the dining experience in Qinghai. The majority of the diet in Qinghai is lamb and yak. While in Xining we are able to eat some vegetables, but we were told that when we go down to the countryside the majority of the diet will be just lamb meat and baked bread. The cuisine can be very spicy! Drinking is a large part of the Qinghai culture. They have this white liquor called bia ju. It is extremely strong. I had a sip of it and it burned my lips and my tongue. Drinking bia ju together builds new friendships, shows respect and trust. It is considered rude if you do not have a drink. The only way you can get out of physically drinking it is to use a hand motion. This hand motion is basically showing that even though you can not physically drink it you are spiritually accepting the drink. This hand motion involves the dipping of the forth finger on the right hand into the cup and then flicking the alcohol towards the sky and the earth. This symbolizes you paying respect to heaven and earth. Then you swipe that same finger across the right side of your forehead. This symbolizes you paying respect to your family and friends. With this sequence of hand motions you are able to not drink but still be respectful.

Sorry this is such a long update. Now that I am starting the settle down in Qinghai, I will update more regularly with smaller chunks of information. I hope you did enjoy learning about Qinghai and its culture. As I spend more time here I am sure I will learn more cultural customs and of course fill you guys in!








Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    Diane  48, Female, Iowa, USA - 26 entries
18
Sep 2007
2:43 PM CDT
   

PC 5.7
Everything is good today. Going to cut back to one PED starting today

Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    scarlett  36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries
17
Sep 2007
7:03 AM EDT
   

paper due tomorrow. why haven't i worked on it yet? oh yeah...simulated sex on a dance floor. "boy, you must have been wasted to have danced with so many girls!" sure i was. that's the only reasonable explanation, right? you must drink, you must be like everyone else because no one here has secrets. everyone has secrets. but it's okay, i wont tell if you don't.
Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    tracy  55, Female, China - 48 entries
18
Sep 2007
6:57 AM H
   

老板被炒鱿鱼的感觉
工作到现在,提出过三次辞职,然后领导'欣然'接受我的请求。觉得跳槽或者辞职是很正常的事儿,没啥对不起老板的。现如今,我们的司机提出不干了,我确心里不好受。总觉得自己没啥对不住人家的地方,真是钱多事儿少离家近,还有啥不满足的呢?而且,她还是从本本族就在我们家的车上开始练出来的呢!可是有啥办法呢,这是技术活,我的确没本事马上说自己开车到处跑。唉,受制于人呀!老公说,他这几年受制于人的时候多了,这点小事儿算啥?一个朋友说,你现在知道你辞职的时候,老板啥感受了吧?
呵呵,谢谢朋友的提醒!炒鱿鱼不好吃。
1 comment(s) - 03:09 AM - 09/18/2007
Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    prissy  47, Female, Hawaii, USA - 75 entries
17
Sep 2007
12:37 PM HAST
   

So according to mom, dad and danny no one back home can know about my situation. (Letting it sink in.. Processing...)
God! That means no one back home can know about my life. Because everything I am right now is a self re-invention as a result of my separation/divorce. That makes me feel even more estranged from so much and so many endearing ones back home.
I feel like I can never go back home. I feel like I can never re-visit. I can't be the new me. My new life has to be kept secret.
Here I am trying to become a better person. And I have to fake or just avoid anyone that may be connected to people back home. That's just crazy.
Ok, enough wallowing. So now we must think of a strategy to deal with this.
A-I will eventually be open with the people that matter, regardless of who they are or what my family thinks I should or should not do.
B-I will try my best to keep mom, dad and danny's family from being affected by my situation.
C-I mustn't let any of this affect my spirit. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on. I will go on.

Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    tiahe  33, Female, Canada - 33 entries
17
Sep 2007
5:19 PM EST
   

Why are you do this to me, because really I dont have a problem with it at all. You already have someone you care so much about yet your telling all these girls you want to be with them, and you want to have them but you already have someone. If you dont want her anymore fine but stop pulling everyone you like around with you, because everyone knows you'll never leave her. I'm just scared I'll fall for you too, and make the same mistake I made a couple months ago. Your my close friend, your so attractive, your smart, your nice, your an amazing guy but your treating me any way you can. You had no right to tell me that you want something with me and that im the only girl you could never get even if your tried your hardest because thats all bull shit. Just tell yourself what you want but its really not what your heart wants, all your words come crashing down and hurting me. I can't fall for you and I wont because I'm always the girl that the guys with girlfriends fall for, and this isn't fair to me. If you really liked me, you would break up with her, its not that difficult. Just don't think I'll go along with it, because god knows I will even though everything I said above i should stick to but its hard when I could eventually have you. But for now, I dont have you and I can't so Im not going to get all wrapped up in your words telling me that you would stop smoking weed, or that you'd keep this all a secret or that you really believe that im different from all the other girl because as much as I want to believe you with everything. I'm having a really hard time with it, I love you but only as a friend. You we're stupid to tell me it in the first place, and I'm keeping my mouth shut about it all, and I really want you to do the same even if nothing ever happens.
Its just to hard. Im sorry.
Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    Roxanna  34, Female, California, USA - First entry!
17
Sep 2007
5:54 PM EDT
   

Have you ever had a day when you just feel like crap? I had a great day so far, and I still feel really bad. I didn't talk to any of my freind, and all the conversations I had were one-sided. When when my best freind Cindy tried to talk to me, I just sat there barely listening to her.She has already has put up with my bad attitude for a few days now, and I feel bad that I'm giving her such a hard time.When I came home all I�just got started on my work without saying a word to my family. Whats wrong with me?
Tags: Bad Day
Add Comment:

Current Tags: Bad Day

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



    SomebodysAngel  36, Female, Georgia, USA - 104 entries
17
Sep 2007
5:41 AM EDT
   

So he has a girlfriend...Well, his exact words were "currently seeing someone right now." And I have to see him fourth block.I don't regret telling him that I like him. Not in the least. You see, it's everything else that I regret. I regret avoiding him after the football game. I regret not hugging him back when he hugged me. I regret not looking dead into those blue/green eyes and asking right then and there "What are the chances?" I'm not a waiter. I never have been and swore never to be. Men to me are some infectious desease out to destory your heart. I almost had myself convinced I was a lesbian and I would have been fine with that, never having to give my heart to...a man. Then he had to deep me down, like some sence from Dirty Dancing, and looking into his eyes I knew right then I was hooked. I guess it's because he was my first boyfriend, why I never forgot him. I was only thirteen at the time, he was twelve. Something that feels so long ago seems like it was only yesterday. I broke up with him in eighth grade so I could go to the Sweetheart Dance with another boy, who was all over the girl he liked when we were there. Ever since, something bad has happened at the Sweetheart Dance. I'm convinced that dance is cursed and a few times almost didn't go because of it. I regret not going to that dance with him, more than anything. We probably wouldn't have lasted, but I didn't have to leave him, not right then, not for that reason. I didn't like him anymore, but I could have at least gone to that dance with him. Four years later, I'm fretting over the same boy, the one I swore I could never like again. I would have dreams about him, through these years. I've had a handful of boyfriends since him and he's had a few girlfriends, but with every single boy I ever dated, whenever we would start going out and then again we would break up, I would dream about him. I won't say his name, because I'm afraid someone I know may read this and I really don't want anyone knowing this. No one that I know. But this is it. This is what I have been thinking of all weekend. I was advised to tell him today how I felt. But how do I do that? What do I say? There is so much more to the story then I just liked him once when I was younger and that was it. It is so much more than that. But of course, it always is, and in time, I'll tell you why I hate men and why I can't trust and why I feel so alone and broken at times. You may have a guess and you may be right. But now is not the time. That is for another day. But, my friend, you are about to witness a part of me many will never see. I may seem over dramatic, but admit, this is a pretty good read, if you're into this kind of thing. I can't wait until fourth block. I've reheared it in my mind for the past three days, like a speech in Language class, and I know that as soon as I'm up there in front of the podium, and all eyes are on me, I'm going to go blank. I'll talk to him before I change for colorguard, in the hallway in front of the bandroom. I'll look at him and tell him I'm sorry. That's all that I'm sure of that I will say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry not for telling you. I'm sorry not for liking you. I'm sorry for hurting you. Because I know I did. And I wish for anything to take it back. I'm not just saying this now, because I like you, but I've always felt like this. Please believe me. If you really like her, I will by no means stand in your way. Because if you are happy, I may not like that it isn't with me, but I'll let you go. I'll let you get on with your life. But I must know...(because I heard from a friend of his he did)....Do you feel anything for me, anything at all? If you like her, fine. Just tell me. I'd rather know now then wonder later. If we have a chance, I'll wait. (Five minutes left for this entry). I'll wait..... I've never waited on anybody before. Never really wanted to. Maybe it's because he was my first boyfriend, why I never forgot him. I would always secreatly say he was my first love. Puppy love is still love and still feels as real as anything. I can only hope he feels the same....

Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )



Matches: 8537 ... 378 | 379 | 380 | 381 | 382 | 383 | 384 | 385 | 386 | 387 ... Next Prev Last