留学的代价
Angela 是我在伦敦念书时学生宿舍的小邻居，这个来自希腊的19岁女孩是个小学校长的娇女。刚开始读书时Angela 不懂安排时间，花很多时间化妆打扮，跟小男友玩，时间不长就出了问题，考试过不了关，系主任找她谈，不得不从社会学转学'政治学'。由于读书不得要领，以后的学业还是不顺，后来她开始整夜不睡，坐在厨房里抄书，看到她的状态，凭着学医的直觉，我觉得有些不安，后来她离开宿舍，搬到伦敦的另一个不太安全的地区，我也就跟她失去了联络。
1993 年的圣诞之夜，突然有两个中年男子找到我，原来是 Angela 的父亲和她的叔叔大老远从希腊赶来，他们告诉我，Angela 精神出了毛病，求我跟他们一起去把Angela 从她的住处接出来带回家治疗, 因为 Angela 本人不肯下楼，酒吧老板以所谓'尊重人权'的理由，竟然拒绝她父亲上楼接女儿回家的请求。实在走投无路，求我跟他们走一趟，看着他父亲万分焦虑的眼神，我没有犹豫，转身跟他们就上了车，到了酒吧的附近，我先走下车，一个人径直走到酒吧的前台，告诉老板，我是Angela 的朋友，专程来看望她。老板无法拒绝，我走上了楼，可怜的Angela 已经瘦得不象样了，东西扔了一地，她显然是崩溃了相当一段时间了，看到这来自异国他乡的小妹失神的大眼睛，我心里一阵难过，我上前抓住她的手，告诉她我要带她出去玩，Angela 迷茫之中说了些语无伦次的话， 因为从前跟我关系不错，她还是相信我，便顺从地跟我走出了酒吧的门，我拉着她的手走出100多米远，漆黑的圣诞夜，这100多米显得十分的漫长，一直来到路旁的轿车门口，他的父亲一把抓住小女儿的双臂，把她拉进车里，车开动了，她父亲老泪地纵横对我说，对不起让你过了这样一个圣诞夜，我们全家永远都不会忘记你对我们的帮助， 我们无法表达此刻的感激之情。我说， '您不用谢我，关键是要照顾Angela, 她病好了就没事了'。这是一个十分特别的圣诞之夜，我几乎一夜没睡。
好心的父亲积攒了多年的钱将女儿送到英国读书，本想女儿完成学业，有个好前途，可万没想到等待他们的是如此难以接受的残酷现实。后来我有机会跟英国的一个华人精神卫生专家电话讨论，他说，很多孩子到英国不久就出现精神问题，我的经验是，把孩子送回国就是最有效和经济的治疗。因为很多孩子一踏上自己的国土就很快恢复了健康。一方水土养一方人，他乡的月圆但不见得会照亮你孩子的心。
oh, the trials and tribulations of one so terrifically troubled.
Had to drive DaveG's work truck today. He's out of commission cuz of his damn finger. He invited me to him and Hope's wedding reception on the 19th. I dont want to go alone, and i dont know if Steven will go with me.
He just texted me.. which i found weird. cuz he usually calls. turns out he was texting me while working out.. what a weirdo, who does that?! but i must say, thats one hell of a way to know that he likes me.. lol He'll probably call me after he works out, at least i hope he does.
I get some weird vibes from him. I really need to sit down with him and ask him what his deal is. While i dont think he's married and i'm totally the other woman type, I just want to know the truth. He hasnt told me or even seemed to bring it up. So i'm definitely going to have to bring it up at dinner on friday night.
These are MY goals for 2008:
These are my goals. I want to achieve 90% of my goals by year end. I can as long as I put my mind to doing it and keeping God first in my life and not let others and their feelings for me get to me.
My priority is MY FAMILY -- CORI AND JAZMINE. After that is my Mom. Last but not least, is supporting us in the things that we need and want to do. PERIOD, the end.
I am really trying to do my WW and keep points! SO far so good but noticed it was much easier when I thought CN wanted to be broke up with me. now that he has caved I am wanting to EAT again!Anyway,I am doing pretty good, I've been on program1week, not sure about how much lost because the stupid Rec center scale sucks! Think I'm gonna buy a WW scale! but I think Iwas 127 on the2nd when I started and now I am124. SO, that is good!I am really just lookingtofit into my old jeans that I could wear justover a year ago! I want to look GOOD!, DAMN GOOD and that makes me feel GOOD! and darn it, I am worth it! I also want to look good for CN,,, maybe make him either love me better or be really sad he's missing out on "THIS!" Today was my hardest day by far, I was just "hungry" all day and so I ate a little more throughout the day which made my points 24ish! rather than the 20 I'm trying to stay at! I think I am starting to wear the "HUNGER BADGE OF COURAGE" proudly!!!!! I've also been working out PRETTY HARD and upped my minutes at the gym by about 20 extra min. a day! It is tough but I can do it! I want to wear those HOT MAMA JEANS! I want to make heads turn by Valentines day! Maybe then,I can get a "date!"
THANK YOU GOD, for my boys, our perfect health and all your precious blessings you've given us! With YOU GOD, all things are possible! (even me getting skinny thighs!)
NIGHT NIGHT!
Cory texted me Sunday night and Monday a few times. I didn't respond. I had already deleted hisnumbers from mycellphone! Anyway,then he called the house Monday night (last night). Jett answered the phone! I hung it up, so I didn't have to talk to him! Earlier in the evening last night, Jett asked if Cory and I would get married. I told him no and that we were actually taking a break from eachother. He later said, how he wants CN to be his daddy because he is the best wrestler. I said, oh I bet all men can wrestle and plus what if mommy found him a new daddy that lived in the country and had horses. then we could have horses? He thought that was okay,,,and just dropped it.
anyway, through the several texts CN finally talked me into calling him, when I did he admitted that he "thinks" I am the best one for him and he's stupid to let me go and he "thinks" he can love me regardless of my issues.
NOW, isn't that just what I wanted to hear only about 4 days ago, but NOPE not now!
I am starting to figure this out! He was "in control" when he made me think he dumped me. during this time I was a ball of nerves and just a MESS!AND I thought I kind of wanted him back! THEN, when he said he pretty much wanted me back I was "in control" again and back to my old self! I even noticed I was better at my new years resolutions (Love and Logic, keeping my cool) when I was "upset", NOW I am just back to my bitchy normal self.BUT I refuse to let this demon control me! It doesn't matter if I am with CN or not, I CAN and WILL be incontrol of myself, my attitude and my awful behavior. Anyway, I told him that we are STILL broke up and I will only get back together with him if I "know that I know, that I know," that he is the ONE I want to spend the rest of my life with! I said, we will either stay broke up forever or go straight from broke up to engaged! THe person I'm gonna be with is gonna be the one I want forever or I'm not wasting my time! (WOW, that's a change in attitude from a year ago! SInce I was NEVER getting married back then!)OH we'll see how long this "strong headed persepective" lasts!
SO, I wasn't planning on texting or talking to CN for awhile again after monday night because I said we needed to "avoid" to make this breakup real and so I can get my shit together! Well, he texted me several times this afternoon (Tues) beacause he had the stomach, puking flu and needed my "love and support". SO, I gave in and felt bad for him so I called him tonight! OH well, I can still be nice right! Even though we are STILL BROKE UP!
Equal Opportunity
Our cat, Luffy, is a tactical and diplomatic guy. He walked into our life when he was 2-month old, at that time he had fleas all-over his tiny body, he suffered skin infection, and his left leg was not functioning well. So he was a fragile little thing.
A year has passed, Luffy is not only survived but also established himself within the Chan's kingdom, in addition, he was very successful in fighting for his welfare despite that the political situation was not very favorable for him at the very beginning. In fact that the President of the house was not quite a cat lover even the first lady and young prince tried hard to persuade the President to have some sympathy for little Luffy.
However, Luffy did great job in fighting for animal human equal opportunity. When there is a fish on the table, he will sit in front of the person who is currently eating the fish with his cutest expression; you will immediately feel guilty for not giving him the fish head. It is very obvious that he strongly believes that it's the part specially brought for him to enjoy.
Step by step, Luffy has been working on his right as a family member slowly but surely. First, the right to use the chair, now he is entitled in sitting on the chair next to us being a polite listener of our family dinner table discussion. Second, the right to enjoy friendship, in recent mornings after breakfast he will wait at the door and the first lady is obligated to open the door for him so he can meet his old friend, the cleaning lady for her to say good words about him. The third, the right to use the double bed and blankets, he uses every single opportunity to jump without hesitation on the bed and enjoy a good sleep in Don Don's new blanket filled with goose feather. It's not about the cold in the winter, it is for showing us that he can do what you do.
Luffy has expectations for life and tried whatever he can to improve his standard of living and made his life more colorful. He took risk of being punished every time when he tasted the new flavor of life. Good fishy food on table, newly changed bed sheets, and all Don Don's new toy. Luffy has great character which we, humans are lack of, 'not afraid of failure'. I admired Luffy's bravery, persistence and determination to live the life he wanted not the life he was offered.
Add comment
cancermoonchild 45, Female, California, USA - 32 entries
