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    Frankly Forty  52, Female, Missouri, USA - First entry!
Jun 2010
3:23 AM EDT

Bride-le my Tongue

I wanna be married.......Sometimes.� Other times I revel�in my�solo status. I feel like I am at an advantage to those who are locked in for life, Forever due us part, at least according to old school standards. My parents have been married for 48 yrs. Out of their 4 children (3boys and 1 girl), I am the only�one (the tom boyish girl)�who has never walked down the aisle. And that TOTALLY SUCKS!

I just terminated a almost 4 yr relationship.�And AGAIN, I thought he was THE ONE.
I thought I was going to skip to my lou and confess my love for this man in front of all my (relieved) family and friends. I imagined hearing a unanimous sigh of relief when the preacher pronounced us as man and wife.........But it was not to be.

I'm hurt and angry. Frankly on the verge of bitterness! I think about all the time I invested in this relationship.� I'm confident at some point, self reflection in relationship mode will be on his to-do list as well.� I refuse to believe that memories we created together will be dismissed as just fleeting thoughts

In the meantime, this single mother is�seeking a duet partner to sing karaoke (with no long term commitment)!!20

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Current Tags: dating, humor, marriage, parenting, relationships, single

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    shiningizzy  53, Female, Connecticut, USA - First entry!
Dec 2009
4:15 PM EDT

me and him

12/12/09 7pm

Well, today I'm having some emotional struggles up and downs.� I've had moments that my heart jumps and think on how prior to exactly 7 days ago he used to always ask me if I still love him (constantly) and that If I was his, and I'd ask him if he's mine and that if he has eyes for me only or if he's always faithful to me while he's at work, he'd always answer yes and I'd always answer yes too.....� today, we don't care to ask that to each other any more.�

I found out he has been making "social" phone calls to different community hotlines for a while now..... when I first discovered it over 4 months ago he swore up and down that it was a co-worker who he was lending his phone to, yeah right!� I confronted him about a recent activity which happened to be on a day that I was visiting my mom who was sick over at a hospital which was over 1 1/2 hr drive.� When I discovered this he said it was not him, that the phone is acting up, he also did it during a day that we spent at DMV to inspect his vehicle to get it back on the road again.� WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?WHYYYYYYYYY????????????????? gosh, it hurts soooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He finally admitted it, looked at my crying and swore that nothing bad ever happened, that he never spent a penny on it., and that he won't do it again because he loves me, I believe him.�

I won't lye, I've been checking the phone records, no sign of daring calls like that, but then I wonder if he's using his business phone to do those calls, or maybe even meet someone physically or be with someone physically while he's at work, I worry so much, it's not even funny.� It's very very very hard to trust him again.

Can someone outthere gimme please some encouraging words.� I'm hurting so much, I love this man soooooo much!

5 comment(s) - 11:18 AM - 08/18/2010
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Current Tags: betrayal, love, man, meeting singles, phones, relationships, social networks, trust, woman

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    2Dazed  55, Female, Arizona, USA - 2 entries
Feb 2014
10:03 AM MST

Significant Illusion

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you weren't sure if you could escape it completely, at least on an emotional level?� What are the steps needed to break that bond when it is one that you allowed to happen?� What if you truly know those steps already and yet, your heart is in a massive tug-of-war with your mind, then what?
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