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        babymexgirl  36, Female, Texas, USA - 7 entries
    20
    Oct 2006
    9:46 AM EDT
       

    yesterday i saw garrett and we layed on the couch and just cuddled he says he wants me to be his wife oneday and i think i want him to be my husband one day also. i miss him so much all the time
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        Queenie  38, Female, Ohio, USA - 29 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    8:53 PM EDT
       

    "The Walk Alone." Feeling the heartake of being unwanted. The hurt of the life you have to put up. Watching the things you charish pass away Leaveing you without words to says. Leaveing you in fear. Leaveing in tears, with satisfaction for the world outside. People telling you, Your to old to cry...... Instead of telling you that everything will be alright. Eyes swelled in sadness, Your chest full of pain. You wanting to disapear out of site. Just wanting to hide. Run away from the terrors of the hateful croud that lingers in your path everyday. Walking alone and only 19.
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        Queenie  38, Female, Ohio, USA - 29 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    8:51 PM EDT
       

    "Because my Sister Did" I walk imto a room and it gets silent I follow my friends and their love is undecided I hear the words that are whispered when I pass in the hall. I feel like i'm not wanted around at all. Why am I here today? Why do I put up with peoples games? There is no answers for these questions I ask. There is no story to tell when its an empty class. I am the quit one. The one no one hears or sees. I'm the one that gets bullied when I walk down the street. I'm the one that comes home and crys in her sleep. I wake the next morn and do this all over again . Only because I know I can if my sister did. Writen By Amanda Naftzger 8/1/06
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        Queenie  38, Female, Ohio, USA - 29 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    8:45 PM EDT
       

    I am so frustrated it's ridiculouse. I am so tired of people acting like my friend, then screwing me over at the last min. I don't know . It's makeing me feel like I am a bad person or something . I can never really find any true friends. I don't know who to consisder a friend anymore . The only person I really have left is my Fionce Allan. He is always there for me , but it's not the same . For once it would be nice to go out and have fun with friends ... to have a life . I don't that it's ever going to get there though. I just feel like giveing up and closeing myself into a box and forgetting about the world outside. I don't know what to do anymore. My family is running aways from there problems , I'm finding my self in a slump and I'm just confused all together ... SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME OUTTA THIS WORLD !!!
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        retirik  58, Female, Illinois, USA - 36 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    6:39 AM CDT
       

    Вчера, на пути домой из садика, один мальчик из ее группы весело завывал: "Ребе-ка!" Каждый раз при этом она оборачивалась и они махали друг другу. Я спрашиваю: "Кто это?" Она говорит: "Это Патрик". Я говорю: "Он тоже твой бойфренд?". Она отвечает: "Нет... Он мой муж."
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        retirik  58, Female, Illinois, USA - 36 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    6:10 AM CDT
       

    У Ребешки простуда. Грешу на Ваню, который кашлял ей прямо в лицо во время своего визита. Оля рассказывала про Ванины уши, и не упомянула про сильный кашель. Хотя, конечно, Ребешка могла и в садике заразиться, да и просто простудиться на улице. Температуры нет и кашель несильный. Я даю ей отхаркивающее. Сложили полки, купленные в ИКЕЕ. Поставили в гостиной. Смотрится замечательно. В воскресенье Надя наконец пригласила нас в свою (бывшую нашу) квартиру. Там все отремонтировано, и трудно было поверить, что это та самая квартира, где мы жили. Стены покрашены, окна новые, ванная вся заменена -плитка, раковина, туалет. Новый пол, и во всех комнатах пушистый ковер от стены до стены. Меня, говоря языком Ребешки, стал душить зеленоглазый монстр (зависть). Все это закончилось, когда пришел домой Макс, Надин муж, в ужасном настроении. Оказалось, бабки его задолбали - то сделай, это. Он сказал: "Переезд сюда был большой ошибкой". Тут меня зеленоглазый монстр и отпустил. Как сказал Бьорн, им приходится делать еще больше, чем нам - за свежеотремонтированную квартиру надо платить. В церкви Ребешка вела себя просто отлично. Наташа после службы сказала: "Как все-таки ребенок меняется, когда меняется мать". Она сказала, что когда мы жили в церкви, я была вся издерганная и Ребешка это отражала на своем поведении. Наташа сравнила теперешнюю Ребешку с облизаным котенком - обласканным, довольным, спокойным.
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        bl69  33, Female, Texas, USA - 32 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    6:12 AM CDT
       

    heyy..what does it do?? aww man i am so fukin pissed..somehow our gates keep gettin opened in our backyard and all my dogs ran out including my new puppy pitbull and we found all of them but we cant find the puppy cuz someone had to fukkin jack it and i am pissed!!! cuz i know that dog never went too far out of the house when we let him out front! its sad. well yesterday nothing excited happen and i lost my puppy so it sucked. and i was walkin around everywhere in the cold lookin for him too..im so mad.
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        YourEveryPain  36, Female, United Kingdom - 38 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    10:45 AM GMT
       

    So it is said. Maybe more people should do so..
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        Miss1  46, Female, Kentucky, USA - 13 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    6:33 AM EDT
       

    So I'm sitting here alone and extremely bored. I haven't journaled in awhile so here I sit in front of my screen. I'm off of work today. Josh is working and Chandlyr is at school.I'm trying to understand how do i get rid of the feeling that I am by myself...everywhere...all the time?I am having a very difficult time 'finding myself'. All of a sudden I am feeling guilt over the personal choices I made years ago. I've wanted nothing but a true person to stand by me through all of this and it seems like it's the hardest thing to do. To find someone that truly accepts you for all of your flaws and everything that comes with it. You know, I can be a true bitch sometimes and I have a bad habit of pushing people away from me. I am not one who likes to open up and share my inner thoughts and emotions with anyone. Not even people I've known my whole life. That would make me open to hurt and I'd rather avoid that. I only feel numb and you know, Josh tries to get it out of me but I'm afraid to tell him exactly whats on my mind, my fears and my thoughts. I'm scared because in most ways I want everyone to think I'm over all that happened in my past...that which actually has made me who I am today...the person I cannot stand most of the time. I want him to believe that it doesn't bother me anymore. But honestly it tears at my soul everyday and I don't have a clue how to stop it and to move on. That's one of the biggest reasons for starting this journal. i was hoping that someone out there could help me. Of course, I can't rely on someone else to make me happy or even to change myself but somehow I've been getting away with it all my life now. CRAZY!!!! Don't you think??Don't get me wrong...I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I have plenty to live and be grateful for. For instance, my beautiful babygirl and my job and that small glimmer of hope and faith in the back of my heart and mind that tells me.....YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK!! Cause sometimes I can actually feel it, ya know? I sometimes feel that , YES, it's gonna be ok after all. I am making it and I will continue to try. Maybe someone out there won't find me completely boring and possibly can understand enough to be of help. Who knows, we just may end up helping each other, right? well, thanks for the time....until then...
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        Jane  58, Female, Kentucky, USA - 50 entries
    19
    Oct 2006
    6:12 PM EDT
       

    Thursday evening I met with a gal who lives in Charlotte but is originally from Mosinee, WI. I meet her online when I was looking for a place to live. It turns out that she has worked in the racing industry for several years. When talking with her online I had my doubts about some of the things she said. She seemed to be a real name dropper. After meeting with her it turns out is really is quite connected in the the NASCAR community. She worked for Richard Childress for 6 years. She actually call him while I was in her office. It turns out that she is also good friends with Ricky Rudd. She was married for 3 years to one of the top engine builders in the industry. She has lived quite an extravegant life sytle since she got married and is not shy about sharing her lifestyle. I will continue to stay in contact with her and see what happens. J
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