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        keonyama96  31, Female, Kansas, USA - 191 entries
    25
    Dec 2010
    10:16 PM
       

    The christmas of my jr. Year :)
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        DarkPrincessaMiranda  35, Female, Arizona, USA - 4 entries
    23
    Dec 2010
    7:47 AM
       

    Christmas?

    Yes, Christmas is in two days, yet it doesn't feel like it at all. Its raining tropical rain, an amazing eclipse. A star dying in a fiery last attempt to reach its light out to us. Something big is coming. We aren't prepared. Whether Aliens, God, or man-made weapons destroy us, its going to be sooner...
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    1 comment(s) - 12:02 AM - 12/28/2010
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        mourningcloak  70, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries
    22
    Dec 2010
    9:41 AM
       

    almost Christmas

    It's two days away. SO many people are so excited. I just want to sleeeeeeep. I can't believe where I am. Back, back, back. Billy. Bob. They are the same guy. I love him but he's a drug addict. WTF????????? How did this happen? What am I supposed to learn? He is dragging me down. I am so sad. I am freaking out! I have to hold onto my spirituality. HOLD ON!! Seeing Pat tonight. That should help me. I hope. OMG! I miss my Mom so much. I miss my boys. I am stuck in this vortex of addiction. Time to break free. Now. This minute. This day. LOVE! LOVE ME!!
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        shirleyxu  54, Female, China - 301 entries
    22
    Dec 2010
    1:48 AM CST
       

    青春
    �
    自打听说上中艺术节敦敦有份表演摇滚主唱, 我和老公央求敦敦允许我们前去捧场。看到我们可怜兮兮的样子，孩子没直接反对。我邀请了一位这几年看着敦敦长大的老朋友一道欣然前往。
    �
    12月21日下午2点上中校园里节日气息很浓，看到跑动说笑的少男少女们，凭着医生的特殊嗅觉，我能闻出满大礼堂新鲜的荷尔蒙的旺盛分泌，使我这闹更年期的老女人有被环境激素诱导回到青春期的感觉。
    �
    幕布已拉开，看到敦敦站在台子中央，鼓手，吉他手，钢琴都有模有样地到了位，老公跳了起来，拿着相机往前跑，我真担心他老人家不小心跌倒在礼堂的台阶上。朋友也拿着鲜花冲到台前去了。我正发楞地往前挪步，听到敦敦老练地热场：“It’s going to blow you away, are you ready?”, 出乎意料的是他用手指着观众席的最后排，用他那没完全变完声的粗嗓子大声说到“It’s for my mom at the back!”几百的学生老师们回头看，我赶紧站起来向他挥手，很难形容当时的心情，只感觉心中有一股热流涌出来，儿子长大了！
    �
    让我们都很惊奇的是，这只3星期前凑到一起，只练了几次的摇滚乐队，居然可以超水平发挥，演唱和音乐都很有范儿，乐队成员们都很有气场，敦敦的声音很有穿透力，他一开口唱，台下一片少男们的喝彩混杂着少女们的尖叫，一群小女生按节奏挥动双手，老师们都忙着录像拍照� 躁动的音乐跟躁动的心灵是那么和谐，一曲唱完，资深美女朋友跑上台送花，并激动地拥抱了敦敦。那当口我们几个大人都有些激动，在这寒冷的冬日里，是孩子们的无敌的激情让我们跟着青春火热了一把！
    �
    �
    �
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        shirleyxu  54, Female, China - 301 entries
    22
    Dec 2010
    1:48 AM CST
       

    主动‘颓废’和被动‘进取’
    �
    上海这个大都市即充满刺激也不乏包容。由于对社会流行病研究的长期兴趣，也为了了解城市灯红酒绿的浮华表象下面更加深层的东西，我喜欢从跟中年人聊天入手，聊着聊着总有些自己的片面想法产生出来。
    �
    从表面看，滔滔的黄浦江两岸不外有三类步入不惑的人，进取者，颓废派和介于两者之间的被生活选择了的人们。进取者中有两类，一类是挑战者，不断挑战自己的潜力，并享受奋斗过程，这部分人有勇气同时具有各面实力。还有一部分是被动的进取者，他们的进取是由环境所迫。这部分人轮活得像轮车上的小鼠，只要轮车不停转，他们的双脚就不能停。表面上他们很忙，日复一日地奔跑，但他们无奈的表情和时不时绝望的眼神把痛苦写在了脸上。
    �
    颓废派也有两类，被动颓废是多因素决定的，不难想象一部分人生来就有颓废基因。不论有何种家境和教育他都会颓废。主动‘颓废’者有道家精神，他们主动放慢了生活的脚步，主动减少花在给自己带来表面直接利益的事情的时间，把生命追求跟社会大众的时代认同分开来，在看破了的名利红尘里洗尽铅华。跟主动进取一样，采取主动‘颓废’的生活态度也是要有相当的实力和面对各种猜疑和非议的勇气的。庄子是这个类别的历史代表人物。
    �
    在上海主动生活的人相对多些，但在中国其他城市里被动生活的人占大多数，这跟我们民族的历史和文化有关，中国有句古训叫‘人无远虑必有近忧’，意思是眼前现实的麻烦是因为从前没有长远的考虑造成的。中华文化里的这种忧患意识和现阶段大经济环境的恶性竞争使中国父母过度重视孩子的教育，多半都竭尽全力地‘善意干涉‘，很少有人敢‘不负责任’地放手让孩子有机会自然地发展。相当一部分人从小就被动地受教育，在这种被动价值观形成后，孩子长大后失去主动选择生活的能力，也只能被动地生活，即使衣食无忧但也不会太幸福。
    �
    有哲人讲过，最好的生活是你自己想过的生活。最令人羡慕的生活质量也是那些不理外界褒贬而潇洒享受自在生活的人们。在我看来，主动选择‘颓废‘和主动选择进取是两种良性的积极生活状态，理论上，积极生活的人们心态好，身体好，活得长些，因为从社会心理学和社会流行病角度看近忧和远虑的各种组合是人们患高血压和抑郁症的成因，而这两种病是人类在未来世纪生存的主要杀手。
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        shirleyxu  54, Female, China - 301 entries
    22
    Dec 2010
    1:47 AM CST
       

    上海书展
    �
    今年书展在上海展览中心举行，这座欧式建筑是我比较喜欢的上海一景，它的贵族气势使得没人敢当着它的面说它不好看。不论在上海还是在香港，每年一度的书展，我一定抽空逛逛，旨在感受文化氛围，不一定非要买多少书，因为现在网上啥书都买得到。有了这两个理由，我没犹豫，顶着酷暑就奔着油墨的香味到书海游泳去了。
    �
    真没想到，进门刚走几步就看到上海名人周立波在签书。这个有着一幅鬼魅鬼魅笑脸的男人是当今上海滩的新宠，他最近总在电视上露面，连我这东北大娘都被他那特有的腔调迷得不行，看了他的节目之后，我还真对上海话产生了浓厚的兴趣。机不可失，时不再来，说时迟那时快，我火速买上一本他的‘诙词典’，生平第一次当起虔诚的波波粉排队等签字。这是一条男女老少皆有的大长龙，好在波波每人只限签一本，所以10多分钟就排到了他面前。在4个黑衣保镖保护下。翻好页的书在他面前被排成一排，波波埋头苦干，飞速地滑动签字笔，估计他的手和心早就签麻掉了。按保镖的手势，我不能靠近波波，所以也没法跟他说话，虽有点失望但，有波波的签名捧在手上，加上如此近距离的接触，让我第一次感受到了当波粉的满足。在演艺圈混不容易啊，没上妆的波波显得有些憔悴，看来名和利都并不养人，签完字，波波起身在众保镖的贴身护卫下，向众人挥了挥手就迅速离开了。做派真像极了黑社会的老大，波波混到现在还没有被娱乐圈和媒体的兄弟们‘拿伊做脱’还真算幸运了。
    �
    一拐弯我看到了一堆非常好看的国画片，而且超值，我忍不住每样都买了一张。到二楼看到很多精装英文书卖15元一本。一口气买了20本。拿不动了才往回走。波波说，“做人头势一定要清爽”，我加一句，“为君藏书一定要丰富”。

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        opinionated  32, Female, United Kingdom - 41 entries
    22
    Dec 2010
    11:51 AM AST
       

    On music


    Hello.

    I've decided to vent on a topic that has a huge spot in my heart and great personal value to me. Recently, Sam and I got into an argument about music. It started with me (gently) mocking David, who's sixteen, for knowing all the lyrics to Total Eclipse of the Heart. Now, I hate, loathe, despise, and DETEST 80s music. I also find it amusing that a sixteen-year-old guy knows the lyrics to what I consider to be one of the cheesiest, most absurd songs ever written. My older brother's response to my laughter and disdain for other kinds of music that we subsequently brought up (like Neil Young, GNR, Depeche Mode, Blondie, and many more) went along the lines of this:

    "You have no leg to stand on when it comes to horrendous musical tastes. Some of your favorite bands from the past and present include: Muse, Coldplay, The Fray, among others. Now, I do not pretend to be a musical expert, but Bruce Springsteen has won 20 grammy awards. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences has deemed him worthy of 20 recognitions. Your beloved Coldplay has only won 5. So next time you decide to bother David about listening to a timeless 80's power ballad, just think for a second. Essentially we all share the same musical taste, and if David decides that he wants to branch off and listen to crappy 80's love ballads that is absolutely fine. I mean c'mon, you never hear us giving you shit about the vampire movie soundtracks you listen to. Perhaps next time you should focus on refining your own musical tastes before insulting others."

    This made me furious for many reasons. I feel like I should address this point by point, but the more I think about it, the more furious I get, so I am just going to give my views on music.

    Now, I actually do dislike 80s music. I don't especially know why. Maybe it's what I call the laserbeams: the extremely synthesized and unnatural sounding accompanying instruments. It's also the drum beats, which on many of the cheesy power ballads make me grind my teeth (snare! SNAAAARE!). The overall cheesiness is also rather repellent to me. Now, that does NOT mean that I hate all 80s music. I love David Bowie. Love Billy Joel, Queen, some Aerosmith, the Dire Straits, Fleetwood Mac, and several more. (I know that not all of these artists were created in the 80s, but I like the music they produced during that time.) I can even listen to Michael Jackson sometimes. But overall, yes, I do dislike that decade in music immensely.

    As for my tastes, they include the aforementioned bands, along with classic rock a la Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, etc, classical music including Debussy, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Beethoven and many more, and a bunch of recent stuff not limited to, yes, Coldplay, Muse, Florence + the Machine, Broken Bells, Jack Johnson, RHCP, and Explosions in the Sky. To add to that, I listen to Johnny Cash and Ray Charles, a bunch of music from movie soundtracks, and many other artists     for which I can't give an overall genre.

    I know that I have natural tendencies towards some music. For example, as a pianist, I know that I'm inclined through no conscious decision to like piano music. Maybe I can appreciate it better because listening to it, I can appreciate the complexity or simplicity of it, and this engages me while I listen. I love harmonies too, and if a song has interesting ones or unusual chord progressions and melodies that I might not have guessed, then hooray! You had me at "Is there anybody out there?". Lyrics, too, have a part to play; while there are some songs I would certainly not sing out loud in front of my mother (see Howl by Florence + the Machine), if I feel a connection to the poetry of it, then it's an added bonus. Other than those, I cannot honestly give an explanation as to what music makes my heart soar and speaks to my soul.

    Now, I do not delude myself: I know I am a musical elitist. But that's not based upon any standards but the ones that exist inside my mind. I dislike synthesizers (goodbye 80s and much of the dance music from today). Unless they're masterfully performed, highly measured and mathematically precise music holds no interest for me (the reason I can only listen to some performances of Bach: he's lifeless otherwise). On the other hand, there's got to be some sort of order to it, be it in the melody or the rhythm; abstract music doesn't do it for me (jazz). Also overly simplistic music--if I can walk over to the piano and figure out the chord progression after listening to the song ONCE, it's not a good sign (many early Beatles songs, for example). This... pickiness, I suppose, does not limit itself to any one kind of music, nor did I consciously decide to dislike the music that fits into these neuroses. In other words, I didn't CHOOSE the things that irritate me. I also don't decide to arbitrarily hate all music from one time; if they happen to fit into one or more of those categories, then it's likely I won't like them.

    There are exceptions, however. These aren't absolutes: I dislike most dance music, but I like Take it Off by Ke$ha, as weird as it is for me to admit it. Once in a while, I can even be persuaded to listen to Babe by Styx, despite disliking Styx more than almost any other band. I don't approve of rap as a rule, but I can listen to some Eminem (yeah, I know, of all rappers...). When I am in an extremely bad mood and all I want to do is mope, then I put on The Fray, because I find all their songs (including their happy ones) to be extremely depressive. I could go on, but those illustrate my point fairly well.

    What pissed me off most about Sam's diatribe was the latent superiority. He starts with calling MY music crap, and then ends with saying that we should respect each other's muscial preferences. I can only assume that "other's" signifies his. He too suffers from this musical elitism, although he won't admit to it, being convinced that what he considers to be crappy music is universally acknowledged as rubbish. Not so, and he wouldn't listen when I informed him of this.

    Everyone is entirely entitled to listen to whatever suits them. I don't really care. (Unless you blast it from your speakers and expect me to appreciate it... David.) If 80s music makes you happy, go for it. But then don't tell me to stop listening to Coldplay because you think they're awful. I've been listening to music as I write this and taking note of what comes on. The list runs as follows:
    Changes - David Bowie
    Symphony no. 8 in F major--Allegretto scherzando - Beethoven
    Green Eyes - Coldplay
    Fall Line - Jack Johnson
    Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
    One Last Shot - Klaus Badelt
    A Rush of Blood to the Head - Coldplay
    Lollipop - Mika
    Us and Them - Pink Floyd
    Blinding - Florence + the Machine
    Bell Bottom Blues - Derek and the Dominos
    Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
    Wash Away - Joe Purdy
    Vienna - Billy Joel

    So there you have it. I don't think I've said anything unreasonable, but Sam's little... thing had really been bothering me, and since it's impossible to have a discussion with him, at least I can get all of this off my chest here.

    Song recommendation for the day: let's hit next and see what comes up... Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin. Go for it.

    AB

    PS: The vampire soundtrack thing ended about two years ago. He's lucky I didn't bring up Children of Bodom.
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        chuchi08  29, Female, Texas, USA - 4 entries
    17
    Dec 2010
    2:04 PM EST
       

    have you been in love before? Well dont fall to hard because it might be a mistake.
    Tags: LOVE
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        mourningcloak  70, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries
    15
    Dec 2010
    8:32 AM
       

    Move On Ahead

    DEPRESSION. Can't shake it. Don't want to do ANYTHING but sleeeeeep. I think I am disillusioned. I wanted so much more out of my life. I thought I was going to make a difference in the world. HA! I thought I would create an empire or save humanity or just be awesome. I am in a shell. Locked in. But what is locking me in? What is the key to let me out? The truth will set me free. What is that truth? I'm not sure what is going on. I wish I had something to look up. Someone to relate to. Why am I so depressed??? I am healthy (for the most part). It's my dreams. My dreams are evaporating. I am losing my grip on them. What dreams? ? What do I want? REALLY want????I want to create. I need to work harder. I will continue to pursuit my video making. I will move ahead on it. Stop procrastinating. Just do it. There is plenty to do. Don't stop Mary. Push ahead. You are almost there. You can keep learning about it. Keep working for it. Make it happen. Show Sean it can be done. Stop doubting yourself. These people don't know you. Or what you are capable of. You can do this. Just do it! OK!!
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    1 comment(s) - 10:47 AM - 12/19/2010
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        whoami?  40, Female, Nebraska, USA - 60 entries
    15
    Dec 2010
    4:04 PM EST
       

    Longest angry sentence ever

    Do you ever just get angry because every minute of your pitiful life you know you should be thankful for being alive�but you're not and�you know that you're not living up to the oughtas and shouldas, and the people that suppposedly love you oh so very much, the ones that you should be so thankful for and you should find yourself in an utter state of bliss when speaking to them, are the ones that sadly bring�disappointment because for some reason or another when you are speaking to them you are as far from a beautiful state of fulfilling bliss as you feel you'll ever be simply because the cloud that surrounds you is so dark, so thick, so debilitating, that you can't see or hear the beauty flowing from the existence of that person in your life, but rather all you can see and hear�are the demons that have complete and total control of your every thought and emotion and regardless of how postive you try to make your thoughts, or how happy you make your face look, or how much fake joy you put in your step, you know you're not fooling anyone, especially not your pitiful self or the all knowing God that created you and expects you to live by the fruit of his all powerful ever present Holy Spirit that never ever seems to show up or work in and through you like everyone says he should therefore you just get more angry because the one who is actually supposed to be able to help you out of this deep dark pit is the one who falls silent and distant, leaving you to feel alone with your emotions and negative thoughts that send you farther and farther from the state of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control that you constantly long to be in but never ever can seem to obtain and the hopelessness that defines you is a constant reminder that as much as you want it and as much as you ask for it or try for it you will never receive that which you know is the only answer to your problem of anger and frustration and sadness that has made you so ugly that even your own eyes can't stand the sight of what appears in the mirror that stands before you and the one that hangs in your mind because it screams the truth of who you really are and all you wish you�could�cease�being but all that you know you will always be so even though you decide that turning from the obvious image you see is the only way to freedom, when you turn away the bondage goes with you and the truth that you tell yourself is real hangs on you like the weight of a million earths dragging you further down into the deep dark pit that has become your home and no one knows that is where you reside for they are living their lives on the surface joyfully skipping through life by the power of the fruit your palate longs for more than anything, all while you nibble on burnt leftovers thrown at you from the father of lies who has become your closest friend not because you love him or he loves you but because he is strong, powerful and so persistent that no matter how hard you try to fight him and no matter how fast or furiously you flail your arms, he wins because he wins every time and the only thing you can hope in is the fact that the big book says one day he will lose and one day every knee will bow to the one who will have victory but you can't help but wonder where the victory is now and why you have to fight alone and what in the world you are�doing wrong that is keeping you from winning the battles and why every loss has to steal more and more of your life away and every loss makes you more and more angry and ultimately you wonder, is this this the life that I'm supposed to enjoy so much and is this the life that I was created for and if not will someone please help me out because this is not fun and this most definitely isn't how I want to live the remainder of my existence however long that may be and those who are unfortunate enough to have to walk beside me�may realize at some point that they can't handle it and they�may eventually throw their hands up in the air�and walk away and that scares me horribly so please oh please someone help me out of this and fill in the hole then cement over the top because it's an awful place to be and I'm tired of being angry.
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